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Haha well I hope you never have that issue again!!
Nope. I got on her case about it. I told her I don't mind her doing that as long as I have told her what to take out to donate. And if she is going to throw something out of mine (aside from junk mail), put it aside and let me determine if I don't need it anymore. I'm not trying to keep everything but I may want to keep something or I may have put something of importance in there with it.
A couple of weeks back when I was racing around getting organized for my first White Christmas I realized I needed string and I had to go hunt for it here at MM's house.
I can't tell you how much I loathed it and how very half heartedly I looked.
If it didn't appear to be in the drawer or cupboard or box from a quick glance I did VERY LITTLE moving things aside to look I can tell you.
I don't have things to hide and I know he doesn't but I would feel very not right about hunting through his things for anything.
This also explains why I'm finding cooking such a mind meld here. I hate rooting around in someone else's kitchen cupboards looking for things.
The way I see it if there are things he wishes to share with me fine and good but I would hate to come across something that he hadn't wanted to share with me but because I'd been a sticky beak now I know about it. Ugggh!
There should be no secrets like that between spouses. I can't imgaine my parents, married over 50 years, telling each other "don't touch that" or "don't look there"...expecially when they have taken care of each other thru some serious and painful times.
It's just immature couples, the ones that are going to split up eventually, who play games like that. Which is probably WHY they are going to split up eventually.
I can't imgaine my parents, married over 50 years, telling each other "don't touch that" or "don't look there"...
I can't imagine my mother going through my father's desk/papers or vice versa. Neither of them have anything to hide, but still, there's a level of personal privacy.
I'd feel the same way about coworkers, as well, I don't have anything to hide at work, but I'd certainly be pissed if a coworker was rummaging through my desk looking for something.
My husband and I don't hide things from one another, but we give each other space and have respect for each other's privacy. If I need something out of his wallet, like the AAA card because I get a discount at a store where I'm planning to go, I just ask first. If he wants to borrow the tweezers out of my purse, he just brings me my purse. (He has an aversion to putting his hand in there, as if he's going to withdraw his hand and find it covered in nail polish.) I wouldn't mind his seeing any of my e-mails, but I know he would ask before looking at any of them. We ordered some stuff from Amazon that we're waiting for, and if he wanted to look in my e-mail for the tracking number, he would just say so.
I was kind of a snoop when I was younger. It's a sign of insecurity, to me. (And I was. Not anymore.)
I can't imagine my mother going through my father's desk/papers or vice versa. Neither of them have anything to hide, but still, there's a level of personal privacy.
I'd feel the same way about coworkers, as well, I don't have anything to hide at work, but I'd certainly be pissed if a coworker was rummaging through my desk looking for something.
Completely agree.
I think it's about respect and trust. I respect my partner's privacy and trust he will extend the same courtesy to me.
If he has things he doesn't want to discuss with me as far as I'm concerned he is perfectly within his rights to keep some things private.
I'll add that my attitude to the right to privacy doesn't just extend to my partner but also to my family and friends and co workers AND myself.
I can't imagine my mother going through my father's desk/papers or vice versa. Neither of them have anything to hide, but still, there's a level of personal privacy.
I'd feel the same way about coworkers, as well, I don't have anything to hide at work, but I'd certainly be pissed if a coworker was rummaging through my desk looking for something.
My father doesn't have a desk or papers that are "his". If he has something it's pretty much "theirs". See the difference?
- Answering phones is not a problem. Any of my previous SO's could do that. In fact, anyone who is my close friend/family could do that, no problems. Reading my texts is a violation of my privacy though. I have nothing to hide, but it is disrespectful to go through them without my permission. I don't even do that to anyone, and I don't want people do that to me.
- Emails also. My work email is full of wishy-washy talk with other work colleagues [mainly women] but apart from the odd flirts, I haven't done anything outrageous that would jeopardise my relationship [when I had one]. My personal email is just that - personal. Again, got nothing to hide and nothing I have sent or received is anything bad, but I am a person who value his privacy a lot. I would never go through my SO's e-mails, texts etc. so I would expect her not to go though mine either.
I don't understand why people are so fixed up on "sharing everything". Yeah, sure, we are a couple, but I do have a life outside our relationship and I want to maintain that life and bit of privacy without being violated. I respect other people's right for personal space, and I want mine to respected as well. If I ever found out that my SO went through my texts, emails etc. I would be very upset, and that trust I had in her would diminish quicker than I can have a w a n k.
I'm with Dorrans. Not sure bout that **** thang tho..........
I still need some privacy, even in a relationship. As long as my private life is not jeopardizing my relationship, there's no reason that I can't have my texts and emails to myself.
She can ask me whatever she wants- and I'll be truthful.
I'd get a sick feeling if I heard she went through my stuff, suspicions or not.
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