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Old 01-13-2010, 07:11 PM
 
Location: Tulsa
2,529 posts, read 4,336,218 times
Reputation: 553

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Daphne5 View Post
Not only is he a stalker, he is pathological liar and perhaps even a sociopath.

For the sake of your children (since you don't have enough respect for yourself ) cease all contact with him.

No, not even friends, do not be his friend, he is not friend material. You have managed to live your life without him before. Get a grip on yourself and move on.
Appreciate the jabs. Much help.
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Old 01-13-2010, 07:18 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,901 posts, read 42,554,680 times
Reputation: 42767
Good luck to you! I hope underneath the lying charmer, this guy is just a mess with no self-esteem and not something worse.
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Old 01-13-2010, 07:25 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 25,584,839 times
Reputation: 24104
Quote:
Originally Posted by mzjamiedawn View Post


I've told him many times. Told him I need space, and he has to stop lying. He knows everything I know about him. I've given him two chances now, and I'm just tired.

I really don't want to hurt him, which is why I hoped we could remain friends. I was falling in love with him before all of the lies started. But now I know I can never trust him enough to have a romantic relationship with him, and it's looking like we can't even be friends either.

Then you are not telling him in a voice that he believes!
You need to tell him,what you truly mean, and this does not mean let him get by with calling you, or stopping by and spending the weekend, after you ask him not to. Be firm in your decisions!
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Old 01-13-2010, 07:33 PM
 
Location: Tulsa
2,529 posts, read 4,336,218 times
Reputation: 553
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
Good luck to you! I hope underneath the lying charmer, this guy is just a mess with no self-esteem and not something worse.
Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313 View Post
Then you are not telling him in a voice that he believes!
You need to tell him,what you truly mean, and this does not mean let him get by with calling you, or stopping by and spending the weekend, after you ask him not to. Be firm in your decisions!
Thank you both for your concern and talking to me without judgment. I guess I've known I was going to have to end the friendship, I just really hoped maybe someone would be able to say, hey, I went through this, and I did this, and now we're great friends! Haha...wishful thinking.

I'm really dreading doing it, but I know I must break all ties with him. I'm just the type of person that hates hurting people, and would rather find a compromise, but there doesn't seem to be one this time.

Thank you to everyone for all the replies and the advice given. Time to "man up" and tell him.
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Old 01-13-2010, 07:56 PM
 
Location: down the shore
174 posts, read 454,583 times
Reputation: 225
Default Deductive Reasoning

Quote:
Originally Posted by mzjamiedawn View Post
Appreciate the jabs. Much help.


It is not meant as a jab, it's called deductive reasoning.

Allowing someone to lie to you over and over shows lack of respect for yourself.
Ex boyfriend is a liar.
Mz allows ex-boyfriend to lie to her repeatedly.
Mz lacks respect for herself.

Truly, is putting up with someone who lies to you your idea of respect?
You continue to make excuses for this liar to make yourself feel better about someone who doesn't respect you. This implies that you have no respect for yourself.

I suspected that awakening your natural protective maternal instincts might help. Is this the kind of friend you want around your children?

And, no he will never change.
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Old 01-13-2010, 08:03 PM
 
Location: Tulsa
2,529 posts, read 4,336,218 times
Reputation: 553
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daphne5 View Post
It is not meant as a jab, it's called deductive reasoning.

Allowing someone to lie to you over and over shows lack of respect for yourself.
Ex boyfriend is a liar.
Mz allows ex-boyfriend to lie to her repeatedly.
Mz lacks respect for herself.

Truly, is putting up with someone who lies to you your idea of respect?
You continue to make excuses for this liar to make yourself feel better about someone who doesn't respect you. This implies that you have no respect for yourself.

I suspected that awakening your natural protective maternal instincts might help. Is this the kind of friend you want around your children?

And, no he will never change.
Now see, the attitude in this post I could have handled just fine. You're right, if I allow anyone to continue to lie to me, I'm not demanding the respect I deserve.

I've never made an excuse for his lies, just for the record. I'm just saying that he can be a very good man otherwise. Yet I know that lying is too big a deal to overlook, which is why 1) I broke up with him, and 2) I'm breaking all ties with him now.

Thank you also, for worrying about my children. You're right, I don't want someone who lies around them.
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Old 01-13-2010, 08:04 PM
 
Location: Sunny Florida
7,136 posts, read 12,629,704 times
Reputation: 9547
Quote:
Originally Posted by mzjamiedawn View Post
Thank you both for your concern and talking to me without judgment. I guess I've known I was going to have to end the friendship, I just really hoped maybe someone would be able to say, hey, I went through this, and I did this, and now we're great friends! Haha...wishful thinking.

I'm really dreading doing it, but I know I must break all ties with him. I'm just the type of person that hates hurting people, and would rather find a compromise, but there doesn't seem to be one this time.

Thank you to everyone for all the replies and the advice given. Time to "man up" and tell him.
I am so glad you came to this conclusion. This guy is definitely toxic and I have a feeling he won't go away easily. I went through this and it turned very ugly. Change your locks and cut off all contact. Good luck.
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Old 01-13-2010, 09:03 PM
 
Location: southwest TN
8,568 posts, read 18,035,440 times
Reputation: 16702
I honestly don't think we stressed enough that you need to change your locks and be much more wary of your surroundings, especially initially - next couple of months should tell.

Seriously, heed our warnings. I think you're only seeing the surface.
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Old 01-13-2010, 09:09 PM
 
Location: DFW
40,919 posts, read 48,863,927 times
Reputation: 54906
Quote:
Originally Posted by NY Annie View Post
I honestly don't think we stressed enough that you need to change your locks and be much more wary of your surroundings, especially initially - next couple of months should tell.

Seriously, heed our warnings. I think you're only seeing the surface.
There is an old saying that someone who will lie to you will also steal from you. I have found this to be true since you can't trust either a liar or a thief.

I agree with NYA, change your locks.
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Old 01-13-2010, 09:19 PM
 
Location: somewhere south of Canada
2,163 posts, read 4,330,013 times
Reputation: 2581
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunnydee View Post
I am so glad you came to this conclusion. This guy is definitely toxic and I have a feeling he won't go away easily. I went through this and it turned very ugly. Change your locks and cut off all contact. Good luck.

I agree. This guy sounds like bad news, and potentially dangerous. I mean, who goes into someone's home after they break-up? Crazy!
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