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Ah but most people DON'T behave like adults. They're riddled with fears and doubts and make all sorts of irrational decisions, it's the human way
Unfortunately, that's very true. I don't think it's necessarily the "human way," though. It seems like 21st Century humankind -- at least, in the Western World -- are especially confused, erratic, and fearful yet full of bravado.
Too much happened in the last century that put everything up for grabs and made everything "changeable." It's created confusion and insecurity. Hell's bells, nowadays, you can change your gender if you want and it's no big deal. Gender "roles" are considered taboo and limiting. Everyone's choices have to be considered valid and, if they're not, then the naysayers are called "haters."
Let's say some guy (not me) has a particularly nasty habit of not reciprocating interest, even when he is interested. Up to a certain point this encourages certain girls to try harder. But if nothing is returned, sooner or later they give up (obviously).
Now, what if the guy later comes to his senses and gets up the courage to let you know that he was in fact interested when you tried to make something happen.
Would it be too late? Would you be suspicious that he's playing games with you? Or would you give it a shot and see where things go?
Does your answer change depending on how hot you think he is?
Noooo, I get pretty distant and cut off contact (just, poof, forget about him) if I even sense that a guy is playing games. I've been through that before when I was in my teens and early 20s and said, "Never again." I put way too much energy into a guy that just wasn't worth it because he was that immature and insecure. It was like, "I can do better." It doesn't matter how much I liked the guy because once I realize he is playing games, that's not attractive to me.
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, The World!
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He's talkin' the talk but is he walkin' the walk?
I think I would need for him to spell out more specifically how he is going to change. I'd certainly want an explanation for his past poor form. While listening to his words I would try to ascertain if he had any deepseated conflicts that were likely to re-emerge in some other form to sabotage things between us. If I felt comfortable after this talk then I would tentatively see how it went between us.
I think I would need for him to spell out more specifically how he is going to change. I'd certainly want an explanation for his past poor form. While listening to his words I would try to ascertain if he had any deepseated conflicts that were likely to re-emerge in some other form to sabotage things between us. If I felt comfortable after this talk then I would tentatively see how it went between us.
I find this very interesting, can you give me some examples?
Let's say some guy (not me) has a particularly nasty habit of not reciprocating interest, even when he is interested. Up to a certain point this encourages certain girls to try harder. But if nothing is returned, sooner or later they give up (obviously).
Now, what if the guy later comes to his senses and gets up the courage to let you know that he was in fact interested when you tried to make something happen.
Would it be too late? Would you be suspicious that he's playing games with you? Or would you give it a shot and see where things go?
Does your answer change depending on how hot you think he is?
Yes, it would be too late. What would make me think he was going to change? I don't like games nor do I have time to boost someone's ego by "trying harder". I'm not that needy or desperate for a man.
And the hotness factors soooo doesn't matter if you are treating me like an an a**!
You think not responding to you, and then later coming to his senses = treating you like an a**?
I agree with Seeniorita - especially as you say this (apparently 12 year old) dude has a "particularly nasty habitof not reciprocating interest, even when he is interested."
He's a game player. Most women are finished with that crap by the time they hit, oh, I don't know, , 14?
I wouldn't waste time on a guy who made it clear he wasn't interested. I sure wouldn't "try harder". I know women who do that and even if they eventually "get the guy" it never lasts because the guy wasn't worth getting.
But then again, if the guy went out of his way to show interest in me at a later point I would probably let it play out. Who knows, maybe there were things going on in his life before that aren't there now.
Keep in mind that alot of women also play this 'game' and many men will lose interest also.
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, 14?
