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As a guy the only pain I remember is emotional. I guess everyone has arguements but if you take it to the next level buy saying things you don't really mean, has it come back to haunt you in your relationship. Do you speak your mind in a nice way to solve problems or do you hold it in for a month or three then spew trash and hurt your S.O.?
I speak my piece and let her counter with her beliefs. I rarely raise my voice in an argument.
If someone's argument style is bring up the past, name calling, belittlement, embarrassment, making a scene, etc., that's a red flag poke in the eye. I don't even know why people put up with relationships like that. For me, it is more a fact of myself not being able to stand the other's insecurities.
I always choose my words thoughtfully and carefully when dealing with a SO.
Seems that the verbal abuse is expected from you. I think that people talk too much. I find it's better to walk the walk, let others talk the talk. My wife does things that I'm not comfortable with, as I'm sure it's mutual. I think of the song "Waiting for a Woman" by Brad Paisley everytime I feel impatient. Women and men are different, don't talk to your wife like she's a man. It won't work!
I hate to say this because most times I think Men and Women aren't so different but I think men seem to blow stuff off their serious others say in anger while over time women seem to keep a list. Maybe I'm wrong.
We really don't argue much at all and I'm happy to say that in nearly 20 years my spouse has never used any abusive language towards me. I think the same is true for me as well. We try to find healthier avenues of communication, we're not so much into drama or arguing.
Location: somewhere close to Tampa, but closer to the beach
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There is a difference between a simple argument and when someone is playing games... Simple miss understandings aren't a big deal..but, when she is playing games.. i don't take that so lightly..
Verbal abuse is an abuser's simplest means of abuse...then comes the emotional abuse.. i stand for neither.. Even in the hottest argument, i have never felt the need to attack someone.. sure i have told a few exes of mine to drop dead or go somewhere...but that usually happened after they had attempted to really lay into me below the belt... At this point, they deserve a little of their own medicine...
I have never looked at my girlfriend and told her things like "you will never get anywhere because of where you came from who you are..or what you choose to do" ..or something to that effect..That is pure abuse, and i won't stand for it..no one should..
I can relate with my boss. He might win the battle, but I win the war! When he leaves the customers say "what an a**hole"LOL.........
No, I'm a good worker...but when I don't do things I usually do for her...her boss yells at her....and she is stuck because she should of done it in the first place...then she kisses my butt. heh heh...
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