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I think it also has a lot to do with how much is there to disclose in the first place. I have always considered myself on a freakier side with some of my thoughts being a little off the realm of normalilty. One thing is to have friends and trust them fully but with information that may not compromise you in any way. Believe me, there is plenty of things I DO tell. As I said, I do have close friends that I share things with. Perhaps, maybe I just have too many things about me I'd rather just not tell anyone, including my friends.
Maybe I need a therapist instead then.
I dont really have any close female friends. I know many women who I consider trustworthy and responsible, but I dont know that there's anyone I trust implicitly. It's more a reflection on how I relate to people, rather than anything about them.
I was given similar advice by my mother as max's mama gave her. As a teen, I could see where she was coming from, what with all those high-school rivalries for the attention of some himbo-jock.
Some of my mothers' friends were women I just had a 'feeling' about, and I instinctively steered clear of them.
I think I can see where Max's Mama is coming from, - from the society of entrenched male-female stereotypes (Ukrainian or Russian). Feminism is probably just finding its way in those parts.
It should depend on a person, Max's Mama, not on a generalized view of the sexes. Just like your son, - you wouldn't want him to be generalized as in, "as a boy, he likes roughing it, prefers football to violin", etc. Your son may be a gentle person. A girl next door may be a quarterback. A man may have a lose tongue. A woman may be a secret keeper to death.
(Thanks, Redisca).
Anyway. Sad that you still hold onto those stereotypes (even though your Mom said it, - but you know what culture she was coming from). Maybe you are right, it's more of your own problem, fear of opening up your vulnerable side, fear of rejection, - but women can be trusted. Or I should better say, a person can be trusted.
I have one childhood friend that stayed true over the years, and she lives over there, so it's not everyday thing. As for real life here, I may have a problem, too, - of moving and losing touch with people.
I think women of that generation also generally had more female relationships so odds are they found a gossip in the female friend numbers.
I trust everyone and no one all at the same time. What are you doing people that you have to keep these dark secrets? I found any time I felt that way I was not living a life true to myself. I guess it could get complicated if you had kids you secretly hated or something like that. Not saying you do..just trying to think about what "big secrets" people feel they need to keep.
Feminism is probably just finding its way in those parts.
What makes you say that? Women have always worked and had the same opportunities as here. As a matter of fact, they used to enjoy free education, free health care, much better job stability, extended maternity leave, etc., all those things anybody can only dream of in the US.
My closest friend ever was in high school (my nickname for her was 'Festus') and I don't think anything was sacred ~ we bared our souls with everything. I don't believe any of our few altercations ever had to do with betrayal of "secrets". We are still friends but things are different (because of distance, lost time for two decades, and 'time').
But things happened with subsequent friends through the course of my life which caused me to back off and be VERY careful of what I share. And I share little, even though I love the few friends I have. (Truthfully, I'm quite the loner, which frustrates them.)
I don't believe I'll ever have a friend as close as Festus, but she and I may end up closer when I move back home, and that IS in the plans.
You can love your friends but not necessarily trust them. I know that sounds strange. But that all depends on what you like about them. One of my friends now is a sweetheart ~ kindhearted, hilarious, and a helpful soul. But she's also extremely high-strung and can 'blab', as I learned the hard way. I don't tell her a damn thing that I dont want spread around.
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