I guess I need some advice... (girls, pickup, separate, pregnant)
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Again thanks everybody, you don't know how much I appreciate your insights.
She's coming over tonight and I'm going to have a long talk with her and we'll see how it goes. I can't keep living like this, I WON'T keep living this way. After reading everyone's comments, I feel that I have wasted WAY too much time on her. I feel that my life may be completely ruined if she keeps on controlling me like this. I'm through with putting up with her constant nagging, her out-of-control shopping, her controlling ways, and just about everything! I hope we could remain friends but I just don't see us staying together in a relationship.
I'll tell you what happens tonight... I just can't take it anymore
Good luck Speedy. I know how hard this can be, but you have to do what's best for you; apparently she doesn't care for how you feel. You'll be happier in the long run, with someone you deserve and someone who deserves you.
Compromise is a necessary part of any relationship. If she can't compromise over where to eat, which is a pretty minor issue, what would happen if the two of you faced a really big issue?
Good luck with your talk.
Location: Boonies of Georgia ~~~~ nuttier than a squirrel turd !
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Quote:
Originally Posted by theqbaby
I agree with the above posters.
We got married really young (22 & 24). Sometimes talking didn't work. Went in one ear and out the other for both of us. Like another poster stated, write a letter, pour your heart out, and don't be around when they read it. Even if you just go outside. Let them sit and think about your words and feelings.
The one time this did backfire on me, he corrected it the way he saw things, in red pen. Well that sent me thru the roof and we hit a very rocky time. Noone has a right or a clue to tell you how you feel, and only you can express your feelings.
Act now or forever be unhappy !
Good luck my friend !
I have to correct myself (had a senior moment) Married at 18 and 22, had child at 22 & 26. Got to post this in the "You know your getting old when.." thread
Geeze didn't want to go there !!!
Whatever decision you make, I hope you and you alone are satisfied. Many have given their opinions, but in the end it is you that has to live with any decision.
Speedy, I hope things went well last night. After reading all of these posts I have to wonder if your fear of marriage may be directly related to the way you have been treated by this woman for seven years. If it's as bad as you say it is, I can understand why a commitment to her would seem like a life sentence.
Sounds like you need to examine your relationship and identify those areas that make you uncomfortable. RED FLAGS!! They sometimes indicate a possible personality disorder, especially the storming out and not speaking to you for a week. You may want to see if you are dealing with someone who has a borderline personality disorder.
Well I had a long chat with her and lets just say that it didn't go too well. I told her exactly how I felt and she wasn't prepared to deal with it. She started yelling and screaming at me and how I'm making a huge mistake, etc etc. I finally just told her that we're through, no more trying to negotiate with someone who doesn't value your opinion or want to make things better. I also told her that I wanted some of my possessions back that she either "borrowed" or that I gave her over the years and she absolutetly refused!
Does anyone know if it's possible to get some of the things that your girlfriend took from you or that you gave to her back? I know a couple VERY good lawyers that deal in these type of situations; I don't care what it costs me, it's not even about getting some of the stuff back, it's the principal of it. I'm going to consult with the lawyer on Tuesday about this and what the options are.
It's amazing how you can be with a person for 7 years and have it all change within the blink of an eye. After she left, I was emotionally drained and I just cried, I didn't think it'd hurt this much.
I'm so sorry it didn't go well. *cyberhugs* to you!!! Congratulations for staying so tough! Honestly, I couldn't imagine a life with someone like that. She's obviously spoiled and intent on getting her own way all the time, no matter what the cost to the relationship.
I wish you the best of luck in getting your stuff back, but here's an unsolicited piece of advice. It's only stuff. If this battle is going to keep you tied to her and interacting with her, you may want to rethink it. This reminds me of those divorcing couples who spend hundreds of thousands bickering over patio furniture, etc. Pick your battles wisely!
And if you ever need to come here and talk about what you're going through (because no matter what, seven years is a long time to spend with one person, and being alone is going to be an adjustment for you), please do.
Sorry it didn't go so well. I think deep down you expected her to react that way. Better it happened now than another seven years down the line.
I agree with Sandy on the belongings. It's just stuff. I wouldn't worry about principals. Just have a clean break with no lingering ties. It only adds to the heartache and pain.
Keep your chin up and go about enjoying life. Good luck!
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I guess I need some advice...
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