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Old 01-18-2010, 02:19 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 17,357,275 times
Reputation: 8075

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Quote:
Originally Posted by mango tango View Post
Wow, this is turning into a battle of the sexes. Sigh.

I understand that men don't like having to do all the "work," but if a guy really likes a girl, then is it all still labeled as "work?"

I like to be pursued by guys. For me, it separates the guys who really want to get to know me from the guys who just want to get to know my naked body. If a guy only wants to hook up, he's not going to invest a lot of time. There's always another pretty girl more willing right around the corner.

The guy being the pursuer IS the traditional role. I'm not saying that I want the guy to continually chase me while I put on a cold glare and bark at him. I'm warm and receptive to him, but I refuse to throw myself at him. A guy should be perceptive enough to realize whether or not a girl will say yes or no to a date (although this depends on the girl as well; some girls like to play games and shame on them).

That said, I have learned from personal experience that it is always better to let the guy make the first move (ie: ask out on a date). I will smile, flirt, talk, and joke until the cows come home, but I am not going to ask the guy if he wants to have dinner with me tomorrow night. If a guy can't get up the nerve to ask out a girl who is eagerly waiting to be asked out, then he's not the guy for me. I like guys who are on the aggressive and direct side. They tend to go better with me. I'm far from passive and find myself easily frustrated with passive guys because I am the one having to make all the decisions. I wish some guys would realize that girls like it when they take control.
Very well said. Take notes guys.

 
Old 01-18-2010, 02:19 PM
 
Location: My Private Island
4,941 posts, read 8,314,311 times
Reputation: 12283
Well, I still believe in sittin' on the front porch on a hot summers day waitin' for my suitor to come along and sweep me off my feet. Why he just gives me the vapors!

**fans herself and sips iced tea in the rocking chair**

I couldn't help it! This thread reminds me of an espisode of Gone with the Wind.
 
Old 01-18-2010, 02:21 PM
 
5,143 posts, read 5,392,386 times
Reputation: 2865
Quote:
Originally Posted by seeniorita View Post
Well, I still believe in sittin' on the front porch on a hot summers day waitin' for my suitor to come along and sweep me off my feet. Why he just gives me the vapors!

**fans herself and sips iced tea in the rocking chair**

I couldn't help it! This thread reminds me of an espisode of Gone with the Wind.
Then you would be waiting for Colonel Angus. What you need is Colonel Angus to come sweep you off your feet.
 
Old 01-18-2010, 02:21 PM
 
Location: The Mango Tree
2,115 posts, read 5,023,404 times
Reputation: 2655
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
Very well said. Take notes guys.
Thank you, max's mama. I wish more guys would realize this. While there are some girls who revel in playing games with guy's heads and hearts, we are all NOT like that.
 
Old 01-18-2010, 02:21 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 17,357,275 times
Reputation: 8075
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorrans View Post
I would observe the vibe she's sending out, whether she's in interested me, and if she likes me etc. If she sends the right signals, then I would ask for her number, befriend her and get to know her better to see if she is good enough for me. I'm not the type of guy who asks a woman out after conversing with her for 5 minutes. I like to take my time to see her character, her lifestyle, her manners etc. whether she is compatible with me. But I would certainly ask for her number.

If she doesn't send out the right vibes, then why bother? I'm gonna set myself up for failure.
Bingo! So, if she sends out the vibes that she is interested, if she is warm and receptive, then you will pursue her right? You won't just hand out the business card to her as she is one of the thousand others who own it?
 
Old 01-18-2010, 02:24 PM
 
Location: Philly
1,776 posts, read 3,999,152 times
Reputation: 834
Quote:
Originally Posted by mango tango View Post
Wow, this is turning into a battle of the sexes. Sigh.

I understand that men don't like having to do all the "work," but if a guy really likes a girl, then is it all still labeled as "work?"

I like to be pursued by guys. For me, it separates the guys who really want to get to know me from the guys who just want to get to know my naked body. If a guy only wants to hook up, he's not going to invest a lot of time. There's always another pretty girl more willing right around the corner.

The guy being the pursuer IS the traditional role. I'm not saying that I want the guy to continually chase me while I put on a cold glare and bark at him. I'm warm and receptive to him, but I refuse to throw myself at him. A guy should be perceptive enough to realize whether or not a girl will say yes or no to a date (although this depends on the girl as well; some girls like to play games and shame on them).

That said, I have learned from personal experience that it is always better to let the guy make the first move (ie: ask out on a date). I will smile, flirt, talk, and joke until the cows come home, but I am not going to ask the guy if he wants to have dinner with me tomorrow night. If a guy can't get up the nerve to ask out a girl who is eagerly waiting to be asked out, then he's not the guy for me. I like guys who are on the aggressive and direct side. They tend to go better with me. I'm far from passive and find myself easily frustrated with passive guys because I am the one having to make all the decisions. I wish some guys would realize that girls like it when they take control.
I can respect that, but what if this guy doesn't have a clue that you are 'eagerly waiting' for a date. If he doesn't ask you, would you ask him out tomorrow?

You know, he might not be that inclined to read body language or try to make guesses at what the girl is thinking....
 
Old 01-18-2010, 02:24 PM
 
Location: Kuwait City, Kuwait.
1,125 posts, read 2,189,160 times
Reputation: 1063
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
Very well said. Take notes guys.
Yeh, but not every woman believes that. I've had many women approach me and ask me for my number. I found that very attractive. I fail to see how people see as a turn-off [women in this thread has said that]. How can they tell men what men find a turn-off?

A person should do what they feel is right. Women keep saying they hate gender roles, yet they want these type of gender roles to exist cos it suits them. It doesn't make sense..
 
Old 01-18-2010, 02:25 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 17,357,275 times
Reputation: 8075
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jefetio View Post
If a man get's that attached over a woman he's never even been on a date with,

he has serious emotional problems and the women probably can spot them a mile away.

Your approach is a great way to spot the desperate people-pleasers, if that's what you're looking for.
Oh come on, there are plenty of times when a man finds a woman so attractive and sexy and smart, that he will want her before he even dates her.
If that wasn't the case, men would just be asking all kinds of women out, even the ones they are neutral towards.
It's not about being attached, it's about wanting someone very badly.
 
Old 01-18-2010, 02:27 PM
 
Location: Kuwait City, Kuwait.
1,125 posts, read 2,189,160 times
Reputation: 1063
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
Bingo! So, if she sends out the vibes that she is interested, if she is warm and receptive, then you will pursue her right? You won't just hand out the business card to her as she is one of the thousand others who own it?
Yeah. That's right. But what if she finds me interesting and warm, intriguing and caring etc. is she just gonna sit on her arse and wait for me to make a move? Plenty of women have asked for my number, cos they found me handsome and attractive. Fair play to them. They went against the social grain, and I applaud them for that. Even if it never worked out, I still have huge respect for them.
 
Old 01-18-2010, 02:29 PM
 
20,627 posts, read 19,289,703 times
Reputation: 8229
Quote:
Originally Posted by mango tango View Post
Thank you, max's mama. I wish more guys would realize this. While there are some girls who revel in playing games with guy's heads and hearts, we are all NOT like that.

Hi mango tango,

You don't have to apologize for making men prove that they are not looking for a cheap fix. Only when the relationship is consummated should this become annoying. It is part of your defense. Simply use it with care and compassion. You are supposed to guard the eggs.
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