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Old 02-18-2010, 02:08 PM
 
9,846 posts, read 22,630,572 times
Reputation: 7738

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Quote:
Originally Posted by solytaire View Post
Yes, used in the literal sense is loaded...but the fact is that if past relationships havent lead to a long term commitment, in my opinion, a person has become used. We will all be used, however some of us will be more used than others. Used in the sense that I stated it merely meant that she will have baggage after a certain number of relationships...The ups and downs of relationship woes do take a toll on both the mind and on one's looks...so my underlying point was that all of those factors will work against the favor of the woman who waits until later in life to find a kind, responsible, decent, but imperfect man.
I think it's baggage because people make it that way. To me all this stuff is in the mind. When people view it as baggage then it does wear on them. When they see it as a part of the journey of life and that there are ups and downs in life and we live and learn and grow, I don't think it's that bad.

Most of the used aspect in my mind comes from people abusing their bodies. Late nights, boozing, drugs, smoking, random sex partners, jerry springer type drama, all that wears and ages people quickly. And there are many in their 20's that partake in that lifestyle. There were quite a few men and women I knew when I was working in ski towns that I saw age heavily in a few years because they were boozing hard and not sleeping and eating crap, not to mention all the STD's they got sleeping with random snowboarding ragamuffins.

 
Old 02-18-2010, 02:12 PM
 
9,846 posts, read 22,630,572 times
Reputation: 7738
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redisca View Post
Another way of putting it is that men just want a butler and a *****, nothing more. And then you guys complain of misandry?


Nothing wrong with good food and good sex.

Rather have that than bad food and bad sex and a controlling drama queen to boot.

What about this do people not understand?
 
Old 02-18-2010, 02:30 PM
 
3,486 posts, read 5,675,718 times
Reputation: 3868
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanneroo View Post


Nothing wrong with good food and good sex.

Rather have that than bad food and bad sex and a controlling drama queen to boot.

What about this do people not understand?
Well, what I don't understand about it, wanneroo, is why you think bad food necessarily goes together with bad sex, while bad food and bad sex together necessarily go with a "controlling drama queen". Those three things are completely independent of each other.

I also take issue with the concept of "drama". Once you really get down to definitions, it seems most people complaining about it regard any overt reaction on the part of the woman to problems in her life -- loss of a job, dangerous illness, death of her parents -- as "drama" which she maliciously imposes on men. People who complain about "drama" also believe that only men are allowed to have wants and desires -- such as for food and sex -- but women should have no aspirations other than to fulfill the desires of men. Do I have that about right? After all, doesn't any desire on the part of a woman that falls outside of the food and sex thing constitute "controlling" and "drama" in your opinion? Because your post addressing the one I was replying to does seem to suggest that women exhibit "controlling" behavior when they fail to stick to cooking and spreading their legs on command. I realize it's a blunt way of putting it, but that seems to be the idea in all these claims about men being "uncomplicated".

In any event, the post to which I was replying seemed to imply that men don't give a hoot about anything except the quality of food and sex. So there is nothing wrong with good food and good sex -- but there IS something wrong with treating a human being as merely a servant and a means to an end. Get a microwave and a blow-up doll, for crying out loud.
 
Old 02-18-2010, 02:51 PM
 
8,679 posts, read 15,244,892 times
Reputation: 15342
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redisca View Post
Another way of putting it is that men just want a butler and a *****, nothing more. And then you guys complain of misandry?

By the way, you know, if you keep your belly constantly full, that may interfere with ball-emptying.
Hey Redisca, I'm a woman.
 
Old 02-18-2010, 03:02 PM
 
3,486 posts, read 5,675,718 times
Reputation: 3868
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avienne View Post
Hey Redisca, I'm a woman.
Well, some women embrace the idea of seeing their proper role as that of a servant and nothing more. I just don't get why they try to sell it to other women. To each his own, I guess.
 
Old 02-18-2010, 03:12 PM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,232 posts, read 46,578,960 times
Reputation: 11083
An equal partner, with her own unique responsibilities. In turn, he has responsibilities to her.
 
Old 02-18-2010, 03:42 PM
 
9,846 posts, read 22,630,572 times
Reputation: 7738
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redisca View Post
Well, what I don't understand about it, wanneroo, is why you think bad food necessarily goes together with bad sex, while bad food and bad sex together necessarily go with a "controlling drama queen". Those three things are completely independent of each other.

I also take issue with the concept of "drama". Once you really get down to definitions, it seems most people complaining about it regard any overt reaction on the part of the woman to problems in her life -- loss of a job, dangerous illness, death of her parents -- as "drama" which she maliciously imposes on men. People who complain about "drama" also believe that only men are allowed to have wants and desires -- such as for food and sex -- but women should have no aspirations other than to fulfill the desires of men. Do I have that about right? After all, doesn't any desire on the part of a woman that falls outside of the food and sex thing constitute "controlling" and "drama" in your opinion? Because your post addressing the one I was replying to does seem to suggest that women exhibit "controlling" behavior when they fail to stick to cooking and spreading their legs on command. I realize it's a blunt way of putting it, but that seems to be the idea in all these claims about men being "uncomplicated".

In any event, the post to which I was replying seemed to imply that men don't give a hoot about anything except the quality of food and sex. So there is nothing wrong with good food and good sex -- but there IS something wrong with treating a human being as merely a servant and a means to an end. Get a microwave and a blow-up doll, for crying out loud.
Sounds like you are someone that mentally fixed themselves with walls around them automatically assuming that anything is a man does is wrong or has malicious intent. Too bad for you and you'll have to figure that out on your own.

And I think that is why we have so many mentally ill and perverted people out there.

Good sex or the desire to have sex=abnormal

Good, healthy food=abnormal

Drama free relationships=abnormal
 
Old 02-18-2010, 04:00 PM
 
3,486 posts, read 5,675,718 times
Reputation: 3868
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanneroo View Post
Sounds like you are someone that mentally fixed themselves with walls around them automatically assuming that anything is a man does is wrong or has malicious intent. Too bad for you and you'll have to figure that out on your own.

And I think that is why we have so many mentally ill and perverted people out there.

Good sex or the desire to have sex=abnormal

Good, healthy food=abnormal

Drama free relationships=abnormal
What a bunch of nonsense. I have a suggestion for you: don't type when you are angry. Really.

Anyway, it's absurd for you to suggest that just because I don't like the idea of a woman being only a cook and a semen receptacle means I believe "good sex" is "abnormal", or that I consider "good, healthy food" abnormal. (By the way, I shudder to imagine what your definition of "good sex" is.) I do cook, and gourmet cooking is my hobby. I cook for my husband, our relatives and our friends. I just oppose the idea -- YOUR idea, apparently -- that a relationship is only a good one until a really tasty, cheap takeout moves into your neighborhood. Then you get dumped for Portuguese barbecue. I oppose this idea not even so much because it is sexist (and it's certainly is that), but because it's ludicrous and completely divorced from the reality of most relationships. Personally, I never thought any man could be this shallow, but if this is what you really believe, you've proved me wrong.

A relationship that's solely about food and sex IS abnormal, but to each his own. People who want more than a cook and a **** aren't freaks, nazis or "emasculated". Real men (no quotes) CAN love.

As for "drama-free relationships", there is no such thing. Men bring drama into relationships all the time -- jealousy alone does that. And in general, life is stressful and traumatic. Women shouldn't be required to remain chirpy, happy servants through life's crises anymore than men should; nor should they take up with men who resent them so deeply, that they don't care about anything that's troubling her and want their balls pumped and their stomachs filled come hell or high water.
 
Old 02-18-2010, 04:01 PM
 
20,627 posts, read 19,289,703 times
Reputation: 8229
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanneroo View Post
Sounds like you are someone that mentally fixed themselves with walls around them automatically assuming that anything is a man does is wrong or has malicious intent. Too bad for you and you'll have to figure that out on your own.

And I think that is why we have so many mentally ill and perverted people out there.

Good sex or the desire to have sex=abnormal

Good, healthy food=abnormal

Drama free relationships=abnormal
Hi wanneroo,

What many people fail to understand is the economics of monogamy. Monogamy is a monopoly of sex and affection. Food is simply a display of affection which is really what that means. If the deep conversations fail with your mate, you can have them with someone else. Bowling leagues allow for substitutions. Monogamy does not monopolize social interaction. What is the big mystery? The only reason why many men emphasize this is because those things must come from one person. Drama is just another word for being at the service window of the monopoly and receiving an unreliable service.

What it ultimately boils down to is a man's mate must be able to have his children on the whole. Men who didn't care were bred out of existence.
 
Old 02-18-2010, 04:02 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
2,662 posts, read 3,821,926 times
Reputation: 580
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redisca View Post
Get a. . . blow-up doll, for crying out loud.
For the purpose of this discussion, could the act of 'blowing her up' be considered pursuit?
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