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I have been in a longterm relationship that has ended and also work nights and weekends. Its sort of hard to meet anyone on my time schedule so I have been talking on the internet a lot. A few months ago I met this guy and we started emailing everyday, then went to IM and then to phone conversations. I really like him and he seems to really be into me too. We have been trying to figure out how to meet but we are 500 miles away so it will be awhile because of work schedules.
Here's the thing, I recieved an email from him that said how hard it is to be 1400 miles away from the person who is taking over his heart.. hmmmm..
Not only that but on his IM screen he had put up the sports team from my city as background and then last night I IM'ed him (he has always IM'ed me first) and guess what? He had as his background, a sports team that was 1400 miles away from where he lives!
So anyway, I am suppose to be requesting my vacation this week to be off when he comes for this meeting that will take place in April when he will get his vacation.
I'm having second thoughts and feeling like I should just vanish even though I really liked him but something is very fishy.
What do you think?
Thanks for any opinions.
You're meeting a guy who lives 500 miles away, but you're worried that he really lives 1400 miles away? 500 miles is really far. I couldn't date someone who lived so far away, unless we were already very close and he had to move for work. I couldn't start a new relationship with someone so far away.
I have been in a longterm relationship that has ended and also work nights and weekends. Its sort of hard to meet anyone on my time schedule so I have been talking on the internet a lot. A few months ago I met this guy and we started emailing everyday, then went to IM and then to phone conversations. I really like him and he seems to really be into me too. We have been trying to figure out how to meet but we are 500 miles away so it will be awhile because of work schedules.
Here's the thing, I recieved an email from him that said how hard it is to be 1400 miles away from the person who is taking over his heart.. hmmmm..
Not only that but on his IM screen he had put up the sports team from my city as background and then last night I IM'ed him (he has always IM'ed me first) and guess what? He had as his background, a sports team that was 1400 miles away from where he lives!
So anyway, I am suppose to be requesting my vacation this week to be off when he comes for this meeting that will take place in April when he will get his vacation.
I'm having second thoughts and feeling like I should just vanish even though I really liked him but something is very fishy.
What do you think?
Thanks for any opinions.
So if I am reading this correctly, you think there is you and someone else that he is swapping back and forth between, one of you is 500 miles away and the other is 1400?
So if I am reading this correctly, you think there is you and someone else that he is swapping back and forth between, one of you is 500 miles away and the other is 1400?
Yes, I live 500 miles away and I think he got me mixed up with someone else that is 1400 miles away. Maybe there is an explaination but I can't think of one.
What is the harm in meeting him in person, especially since it will be on your own turf? You meet the first time in a public place, and you stay there. If he's on the up and up, he'll have no problem sending you a pic of his driver's license before he even arrives. You send a copy to a friend of yours who you tell where you are going to be meeting him. You don't deviate from the location and you don't go to his hotel room or anything else that first meeting. You get to decide if you will meet him in person again, either later for dinner or the next day. Having a time out and away gives you a better chance to listen to your "gut" which is seldom wrong (but most women don't listen to it).
Anyway, take a chance. I did 12.5 years ago and I've been with that wonderful man for 12 years now. It was the absolute best meeting of an online friend I ever had.
You can't demand faithfulness from a man you aren't even dating, and worse haven't even met. There is nothing wrong with him talking to more than one woman at this stage in the game.
I would tell him to come visit my city if he likes, and that we would have dinner. I wouldn't take any time off from work though - he doesn't deserve that level of commitment. I would only commit 2 hours of my time to him, and see what happens.
Yes, I live 500 miles away and I think he got me mixed up with someone else that is 1400 miles away. Maybe there is an explaination but I can't think of one.
Did you ask him? None of us here can do anything more than speculate. He's the best source for your answer.
And most definitely take this advice:
Quote:
Originally Posted by NY Annie
You meet the first time in a public place, and you stay there. If he's on the up and up, he'll have no problem sending you a pic of his driver's license before he even arrives. You send a copy to a friend of yours who you tell where you are going to be meeting him. You don't deviate from the location and you don't go to his hotel room or anything else that first meeting. You get to decide if you will meet him in person again, either later for dinner or the next day. Having a time out and away gives you a better chance to listen to your "gut" which is seldom wrong (but most women don't listen to it).
I guess its just that if he has somebody else that is "taking over his heart" then I really don't want to get more involved and maybe hurt because he was starting to take over mine and acted like it was mutual. I can see talking to other people in the early stages but not 2 heart situations. I think I'm just in shock right now.
I guess its just that if he has somebody else that is "taking over his heart" then I really don't want to get more involved and maybe hurt because he was starting to take over mine and acted like it was mutual. I can see talking to other people in the early stages but not 2 heart situations. I think I'm just in shock right now.
It sounds like you need to have an honest, open talk with him. If you are truly taking over his heart as he says, he shouldn't take issue with you wanting to clear this up.
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