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Do you smell good? Do you have good hygiene? Are you an attractive person (by that I mean a whole person . . .with hobbies and interests and skills and abilities). Do you get along with people?
Are there unresolved issues in your relationship?
Why don't you just back off and work on the relationship and the sex will follow, naturally.
Ask yourself if you want to have sex as an expression of love or if you are just CONSTANTLY using her to "get off." That's how it feels to some women when the guy is just bugging her all of the time.
No, definitely not using her to get off. I want her to enjoy it as much as I do, and if she doesn't, well, I don't find it fulfilling.
Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious
Do you smell good? Do you have good hygiene? Are you an attractive person (by that I mean a whole person . . .with hobbies and interests and skills and abilities). Do you get along with people?
Good hygiene, fairly decent looking and pretty good shape for 45. Could use more outside interests. I get along with most all people, and am pretty well liked, (although very shy).
Are there unresolved issues in your relationship?
No unresolved issues with the two of us that I can come up with. Maybe with her upbringing.
Why don't you just back off and work on the relationship and the sex will follow, naturally.
Been working on that, trying to meet her needs even more than I already do. Being more romantic. Also started seeing a counselor.
There isn't a week that goes by here that some other man doesn't post almost verbatim what you just posted: my wife just isn't all that into sex. If there was a solution, this wouldn't be such a widespread issue in so many marriages.
A lot of husbands with disinterested wives are given the (false) advice, "Oh, do errands for her! Clean the house! Buy her roses!" All of this is ridiculous. A wife should want to have sex with her husband whether he does these things or not.
The "I'm too tired" for sex excuse has been exposed here as the ridiculous excuse that it is. Is your wife too tired to get on Facebook, text her friends, watch TV or go shopping?
There's no way to make someone want you or want to have sex with you. That's really the bottom line.
part of good sex is love. just seeing the one i love enjoying sex enhances it for me. i do take the time to "preheat the oven", because i want her to have the full enjoyment. i have found that when she does not have a strong desire, a little extra "preheat time" perks her right up.
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