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Moving in 10 weeks, no point in starting up something new and I am struggling like crazy to find some stability to get me through this. I have a hard time concentrating on my work unless I know someone is thinking of me and cares.
First guy I dated and actually liked distanced himself as soon as he found out I was leaving. It makes me sad but nothing I can do about it. I keep telling myself I won't text him anymore but as soon as I tell myself that, I text him. I really don't want to bother him anymore if no contact is what he wants and he's showing that.
With the second guy I told him up front I wasn't going to be around long. He still seemed interested but he annoyed me and I couldn't stomach his texts. Lately I have been thinking about contacting him just so I won't have to be alone.
Third guy was a F buddy I had last year that I have absolutely no emotional connection to. He's in the city sporadically and have been texting me nonstop to meet up soon when he's here even after I told him I wasn't interested. I think of meeting up with him just to stop thinking of being with someone but I really dislike him.
I have been calling my family, my grandma, my friends, and trying to meet up with people more, but it's just not cutting it for me. I don't know why I struggle so much with being alone. I bring this up in therapy but they just tell me to meditate. I love meditating but it doesn't make the empty feeling go away.
I have been thinking of posting on Craigslist just to get a texting/emailing buddy to keep me celibate and sane. My school therapist told me I need a long term therapist and I agree, but I just have no stability at this moment and am struggling so hard to get through it. Wow. I didn't even know this. :/
The times I did well being single was before I ever dated because I didn't even know what I was missing out on. Wish I could go back to that mindset.
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
2,365 posts, read 2,149,907 times
Reputation: 3814
I don't think you need therapy. I think you need to learn to like yourself, and not look for others for some kind of meaningless validation.
You are the one who is most likely going to be the best friend you will ever have in life. Others are only going to see your weakness, and most will find some way or another to take advantage of that weakness.
Use your move to create a new and stronger you, to go along with your new environment. You will attract more genuine and caring people that way. Best wishes!
Find things you genuinely enjoy doing, that bring you a lot of happiness to do, and can be done alone. Over time, you'll find that this will help you form pleasant associations with being by yourself, and you won't be preoccupied by thoughts of how you wish someone was with you constantly.
You don't have to always do things alone. But it's nice when you genuinely feel that being alone can be pleasant, as well as being with others.
Moving in 10 weeks, no point in starting up something new and I am struggling like crazy to find some stability to get me through this. I have a hard time concentrating on my work unless I know someone is thinking of me and cares.
First guy I dated and actually liked distanced himself as soon as he found out I was leaving. It makes me sad but nothing I can do about it. I keep telling myself I won't text him anymore but as soon as I tell myself that, I text him. I really don't want to bother him anymore if no contact is what he wants and he's showing that.
With the second guy I told him up front I wasn't going to be around long. He still seemed interested but he annoyed me and I couldn't stomach his texts. Lately I have been thinking about contacting him just so I won't have to be alone.
Third guy was a F buddy I had last year that I have absolutely no emotional connection to. He's in the city sporadically and have been texting me nonstop to meet up soon when he's here even after I told him I wasn't interested. I think of meeting up with him just to stop thinking of being with someone but I really dislike him.
I have been calling my family, my grandma, my friends, and trying to meet up with people more, but it's just not cutting it for me. I don't know why I struggle so much with being alone. I bring this up in therapy but they just tell me to meditate. I love meditating but it doesn't make the empty feeling go away.
I have been thinking of posting on Craigslist just to get a texting/emailing buddy to keep me celibate and sane. My school therapist told me I need a long term therapist and I agree, but I just have no stability at this moment and am struggling so hard to get through it. Wow. I didn't even know this. :/
The times I did well being single was before I ever dated because I didn't even know what I was missing out on. Wish I could go back to that mindset.
Sorry Kelly..as there are a few here,who somehow do not recognize that you/persoanilty, life experiences has somehow caused you to have a need for "Validation".... Bashing another who aren't like themselves seems to be a given on this site!
Having said that..Is there any reason you start out in most of your past relationships by starting with.."This isn't going to last long" talk ,by saying you will be moving on etc? Why do that?..before you even give yourself a chance to develop a solid caring relationship? That jumped out to me as "Self- Sabotage" tendency.
That signals..Low self esteem, fear of connecting for fear of failure, or inability to believe you are worthwhile...ALL Sadly common when early in one's upbringing nurturing you were lacking influence to respect yourself..thus never knew nor appreciated your self-worth in life.
While saying all above paragraph..Meanwhile..you yearn for it..have an innate NEED for it..but continue to "Self- Sabotage"
Moving in 10 weeks, no point in starting up something new and I am struggling like crazy to find some stability to get me through this. I have a hard time concentrating on my work unless I know someone is thinking of me and cares.
First guy I dated and actually liked distanced himself as soon as he found out I was leaving. It makes me sad but nothing I can do about it. I keep telling myself I won't text him anymore but as soon as I tell myself that, I text him. I really don't want to bother him anymore if no contact is what he wants and he's showing that.
With the second guy I told him up front I wasn't going to be around long. He still seemed interested but he annoyed me and I couldn't stomach his texts. Lately I have been thinking about contacting him just so I won't have to be alone.
Third guy was a F buddy I had last year that I have absolutely no emotional connection to. He's in the city sporadically and have been texting me nonstop to meet up soon when he's here even after I told him I wasn't interested. I think of meeting up with him just to stop thinking of being with someone but I really dislike him.
I have been calling my family, my grandma, my friends, and trying to meet up with people more, but it's just not cutting it for me. I don't know why I struggle so much with being alone. I bring this up in therapy but they just tell me to meditate. I love meditating but it doesn't make the empty feeling go away.
I have been thinking of posting on Craigslist just to get a texting/emailing buddy to keep me celibate and sane. My school therapist told me I need a long term therapist and I agree, but I just have no stability at this moment and am struggling so hard to get through it. Wow. I didn't even know this. :/
The times I did well being single was before I ever dated because I didn't even know what I was missing out on. Wish I could go back to that mindset.
GK, you post a lot. And theirs consistency to your posts. I won't repeat them publicly. Do you have a confidant? There's some 'stuff' you need to get out
Sorry Kelly..as there are a few here,who somehow do not recognize that you/persoanilty, life experiences has somehow caused you to have a need for "Validation".... Bashing another who aren't like themselves seems to be a given on this site!
Having said that..Is there any reason you start out in most of your past relationships by starting with.."This isn't going to last long" talk ,by saying you will be moving on etc? Why do that?..before you even give yourself a chance to develop a solid caring relationship? That jumped out to me as "Self- Sabotage" tendency.
That signals..Low self esteem, fear of connecting for fear of failure, or inability to believe you are worthwhile...ALL Sadly common when early in one's upbringing nurturing you were lacking influence to respect yourself..thus never knew nor appreciated your self-worth in life.
While saying all above paragraph..Meanwhile..you yearn for it..have an innate NEED for it..but continue to "Self- Sabotage"
I'm moving away in a few weeks so I had to tell them early on it wasn't going to last as I supposed most people aren't into long distance relationships. But even before my situation, in my head I would tell myself this isn't going to last so I won't get attached but 9/10 I usually do...
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