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OK, so I joined a dating site, posted my profile and a few pics. I hoped to get some responses but I'm actually getting a LOT of responses. After deleting those who lived far away and others I didn't think were compatible, I'm still left with a couple of dozen and more coming in.
What's the usual protocol? Contact a few and, if they don't work out, contact a few more? A lot of attractive and seemingly decent men responded so I just don't know where to begin. And what's the best way to begin conversations -- IM or email?
I don't have experience with this and could really use some advice and help! I registered with Plenty of Fish last year on a whim but I didn't do anything with it so this is all new to me.
Only contact the ones you are really interested in. I wouldn't exclusively date anyone until I found someone I really click with in person. I've actually found myself in a position of having great phone conversation, emails and in person....nothin'. Have Fun!
Thanks, CESpeed. How many would you contact at a time -- two or three? I got a wide array of responses and quite a few sound interesting. And how long do you usually talk with them before deciding to meet?
Thanks, CESpeed. How many would you contact at a time -- two or three? I got a wide array of responses and quite a few sound interesting. And how long do you usually talk with them before deciding to meet?
if you do decide to meet someone, meet them in a very public place.
if they stall or suggest somewhere not public, then look elsewhere for someone.
OK, so I joined a dating site, posted my profile and a few pics. I hoped to get some responses but I'm actually getting a LOT of responses. After deleting those who lived far away and others I didn't think were compatible, I'm still left with a couple of dozen and more coming in.
What's the usual protocol? Contact a few and, if they don't work out, contact a few more? A lot of attractive and seemingly decent men responded so I just don't know where to begin. And what's the best way to begin conversations -- IM or email?
I don't have experience with this and could really use some advice and help! I registered with Plenty of Fish last year on a whim but I didn't do anything with it so this is all new to me.
When you first join a site, if you have a decent profile you'll be overwhelmed with responses for the first few weeks or so. Take your time and go through them one at a time. Respond to any that you find appealing. 3, 7, or 10 - no matter. And respond by email. Do NOT give out or use your personal email address - use the site's email only. I would not recommend using IM either. Like it or not, there are some wackos on these sites that are just trolling for cyber-sex, and IM'ing is a favorite hook. I know some people use it, and it works fine, but take my word for it...stick to email.
Let the guy know that you are new to this, that way if you sound cautious they will understand. Besides, any guy that is worth his salt, will be glad you are being cautious. Generally, once I click with a guy in email, I stick with that for a couple of weeks. If things are getting interesting, generally he will ask for your number, or give his. I always get his...and find out when is a good time to call. And then, I call when I suspect that he won't be available. I know - crazy - but I do that because I want to hear their voice first, before I actually talk to them.
Make sure you have their name. Pretty much everyone I have ever dated from an online site, I have been able to google them and verify at least some of their information. I always, always, recommend this. You can't be too careful.
I don't mean to scare you off. On the contrary, I've had much success with it. But I've learned to do things this way over time....that is just what works best for me. Good luck!
Is there anything in particular to watch out for that may signal a guy is married or just looking for booty calls? Most of the responses have pics but some don't -- one says he'll email you pics on request. I thought that was a bit odd, but is it common? I want to be careful but not crazy-suspicious, LOL.
Is there anything in particular to watch out for that may signal a guy is married or just looking for booty calls? Most of the responses have pics but some don't -- one says he'll email you pics on request. I thought that was a bit odd, but is it common? I want to be careful but not crazy-suspicious, LOL.
Not odd, many people, guys and gals alike, are simply shy, or in public positions where they don't want any acquaintances to find out they are using the site. Shoot, it took a while for me to get used to it too. The guy I dated this past summer is a very successful lawyer. I totally understood him not having his pics there. He was terrific though - he actually filmed a short video in his kitchen, talking to me the whole time, and sent that! Very very creative, and a perfect introduction. My boyfriend from a couple of years ago had no pics either...he sent me one when I asked. No problem. My current BF did have a couple of pics, but he looked way better in person.
If you get a guy that says something like - "hey can you send me some more pics? I'd love to see MORE of you!" Move on. He's looking for a quick joyride. If you have a decent selection of pictures on there (make sure you have at least one full-length one) there should be no reason for anyone to ask for more. I have had SO many ask me for more pics!!! I drop those guys QUICK.
As far as booty calls and being married...just use your instinct. And be competely forthright in your communications. I always stated on my profiles that "anyone looking for something uncomplicated and no-strings should look elsewhere". That has always worked well for me to filter out the fun-seekers.
Ha. Now now...I just do that to hear his voice first. What can I say? I'm a voice person!!
LOL. I'd probably do the same thing That is, if online dating ever gets me to that point I got 8 messages/winks/etc today and not one of them was a compatible match. Heck, four of them don't even live in Texas The two guys I e-mailed back over the weekend didn't respond to my e-mails, so it's back to the waiting game.
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Generally, once I click with a guy in email, I stick with that for a couple of weeks. If things are getting interesting, generally he will ask for your number, or give his. I always get his...and find out when is a good time to call. And then, I call when I suspect that he won't be available. 
I know - crazy - but I do that because I want to hear their voice first, before I actually talk to them. 
The guy I dated this past summer is a very successful lawyer. I totally understood him not having his pics there. He was terrific though - he actually filmed a short video in his kitchen, talking to me the whole time, and sent that! Very very creative, and a perfect introduction. My boyfriend from a couple of years ago had no pics either...he sent me one when I asked. No problem. My current BF did have a couple of pics, but he looked way better in person. 
He's looking for a quick joyride. If you have a decent selection of pictures on there (make sure you have at least one full-length one) there should be no reason for anyone to ask for more. I have had SO many ask me for more pics!!! I drop those guys QUICK.
That is, if online dating ever gets me to that point 
I got 8 messages/winks/etc today and not one of them was a compatible match. Heck, four of them don't even live in Texas 
The two guys I e-mailed back over the weekend didn't respond to my e-mails, so it's back to the waiting game. 
