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It may not be someone's business how much you earn. But part of the vetting process is knowing is your potential partner is solvent, good or bad with money, etc. Rather than being defensive make it clear that you are financially responsible and provide for yourself.
Just to make it clear, they know how I make my money, I have a small business and investment income. They just don't believe me. Obviously I support myself well, that seems to be the problem. They don't think I should have what I do because I don't work as they do.
I will not tell them about my income in detail as I will not ask for their pay stub. This is crazy. These are dates and acquaintances, so it's no big deal to me how much they make or where it comes from, investments, pensions, etc. Don't care unless it's crack dealing.
Just to make it clear, they know how I make my money, I have a small business and investment income. They just don't believe me. Obviously I support myself well, that seems to be the problem. They don't think I should have what I do because I don't work as they do.
They probably just want to know which pole you dance at so they can visit!
Maybe you are just dating nit wits that CAN'T handle money. I think its insulting they don't believe you. That is what I would be ticked at if it was me. Anyone that does not believe me on how I make ends meet...well, one thing I like to do is add up how much they waste when there is a cheaper solution. Its funny to watch the facial expression. And that is not even talking about investments...
Maybe you are just dating nit wits that CAN'T handle money. I think its insulting they don't believe you. That is what I would be ticked at if it was me. Anyone that does not believe me on how I make ends meet...well, one thing I like to do is add up how much they waste when there is a cheaper solution. Its funny to watch the facial expression. And that is not even talking about investments...
You don't look like a drug dealer now do you? ;P
Hmmm, don't think so.
It's not just guys I date, but people in general- my future BIL being one. I'm not rich and no Caddy so not a drug dealer! It is very insulting that a person thinks someone is giving you something for free when you've worked hard to earn it yourself and they know it.
I get this too. I don't live like a rich person and I think it confuses people that I sometimes don't work and don't get upset about it. I think it's probably because I'm relatively young to be not working all the time.
And just for the heck of it.....I'm not rich but I can get by!
Last edited by yellowsnow; 01-20-2010 at 05:11 PM..
Reason: Didn't want folks to think I was wealthy........
I'm sure you get that b/c it is uncommon to be unemployed, not on a retirement income or welfare, and be solvent. For most people, that is a head scratcher. And that's why you get the questions.
No need to get all defensive about it. Just state the facts (you made your $ yrs ago in your business, and now have investments), and that should be the end of that. If it isn't, I would just ask why they keep probing when you already answered the question. It's just human nature to want to know if you're a trust fund baby or a drug dealer....
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