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He's 3 years older than me. We have gone to dinners and watched movies at his place. I have met his roommate and the roommate's girlfriend. Of course, we also had nights where I just went over for sex.
So during the once-a-week visits you had it only amounted to this? If so, you're his FWB minus the part about you knowing it. And we know you don't know because you started this thread.
Now that you know, enjoy if you like it or exit if you don't.
Sorry to come off so harsh...but hun...you are a F-buddy. Booty call. Think what do you do together does it usually have encounters with just sex? How long have you been dating? Does he introduce you to his other friends whom aren't at the job? And vice versa? Think about it...
How in the monkey poop could she not have known that?
I'm 22 years old, recently graduated from college and currently seeing this guy in my company for the past two months. Things have been hot and cold between us. He hates phones calls, so we only talk via texts and we hang out about once a week. I'm use to college dating where I see my SO all the time. But now with this guy, I barely see him during the week and we don't really talk, so I feel like I don't really know him that much. We never "defined" our relationship and have been sleeping together. Also, no one knows about us since we don't want our coworkers to know. But when we are together, he's affectionate and sweet. So now, I'm not sure if we are FWB or dating. What should I do? I don't want to come off as clingy or insecure, so I don't want to force him to define our relationship. But I also don't want to waste my time pining for him, only to realize later on that he's been using me for sex. Have any of you ever been in this kind of situation? Also, am I over thinking this? How often do you guys see your SO's?
I have feeling that this guy is involved with someone else:
1. he hates phones ( phone calls leave traces and could be heard by others)
2. you are seeing each other once a week ( other days he spend with someone else)
3. he does not define the relationship ( he does not feel there is any)
4. no one knows about you two ( you mean, no one? even outside the work?? do you guys go out? movie? dinner? bar? walk in the park? parties? did you met his friends, other than "roommates”? maybe he just use their place to have sex, because at home, there is someone else waiting for him?)
5. he is affectionate and sweet when you are together ( where? secret place? in bed? sure, why would he be rude in bed?)
6. is he using you for sex? (Huh??? Is there anything else going
between you two?)
Sorry to be so blunt, but you asked...
I'm 22 years old, recently graduated from college and currently seeing this guy in my company for the past two months. Things have been hot and cold between us. He hates phones calls, so we only talk via texts and we hang out about once a week. I'm use to college dating where I see my SO all the time. But now with this guy, I barely see him during the week and we don't really talk, so I feel like I don't really know him that much. We never "defined" our relationship and have been sleeping together. Also, no one knows about us since we don't want our coworkers to know. But when we are together, he's affectionate and sweet. So now, I'm not sure if we are FWB or dating. What should I do? I don't want to come off as clingy or insecure, so I don't want to force him to define our relationship. But I also don't want to waste my time pining for him, only to realize later on that he's been using me for sex. Have any of you ever been in this kind of situation? Also, am I over thinking this? How often do you guys see your SO's?
After reading this I gather that you want to know if his intentions are the same as yours, correct? Well if you want to know where you stand with this individual you need to ask him directly and demand an answer. Do not let him give you a half ass playeresque answer like "Hey baby you know how I feel about you, we cool...we are what we are" he needs to be clear and concise and fully explain his intentions. Communication is the only way you're going to wade through the confusion so COMMUNICATE! Do not waste your time with games, tips you read in cosmopolitan, don't try to look for some silly signs some internet guru told you...ask him directly! Lastly, don't forget that actions are also a tremendous indicator of someone's intentions and feelings. His actions in the paragraph you wrote make it appear to me that you are nothing more to him than a sex partner. But understand that you let it be this way and that if that is true you owe it to no one but yourself. Women ALWAYS set the pace and that's the pace you set in the relationship through YOUR actions. Remember...actions also communicate one's feelings. When you let a Man hit who hasn't told you a damn thing about himself you are showing that you give it up to anyone. Why would I want to be in a relationship with a Woman who hasn't even asked me my goals, aspirations, and etc. before letting me hit it.
As bad as my dating IQ is, I'm pretty sure you two are just FWB or in other words, f**k buddies.
You may still be able to turn that around by playing around saying that he must wine and dine you and woo you before a night of sex... Unless you are of course in it for sex.
He may be up for it unless he has someone else at home or is... gay?
If you've been dating him for the past two months, what happened at Christmas? Did you exchange nice presents? Did you get invited to any of his family events?
I guess in a couple of weeks, you will see what he does for Valentines Day... You could be brave and ask him first about making plans for that day. A boyfriend will make it a romantic evening for you, a FWB will be more about staying in for pizza, movies and sex.
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