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We don't know that, maybe she is encouraging him to see the child. If a man told me, he has a child out of wedlock that he never sees, I would do anything in my power to get him to visit his child.
Thats right! The children should be treated equal. No matter who the mama is! As a matter of fact the dads behavior should tell mom #2 ALOT about this "man!"
It's up to him on whether or not he want to raise the son as his only obligation is paying child support (which he has done).
His only LEGAL obligation may be to pay child support, but there are moral obligations and he is not living up to them. I find his behavior despicable and I do not care one whit about his reasons for not wanting contact with the mother - he is not a nice person to ignore his child.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tropical Trouble
He doesn't sound like such a stand up guy to me. It's great that he pays child support, but it's HIS child - why on earth wouldn't he want to spend time with him, and be a father. It's not like his ex would need to be around for that. Meet somewhere, get the child, have a great day together, take the child back home to Mom. No more that a few words would need to be exchanged. If it's long distance, travel to visit.
I've dated plenty of guys with children and they were all involved in their kids' lives no matter how bad the relationship was with their ex.
If I found out a guy had a child with someone, but had never had anything to do with that child, I'd be outta there
Amen to that!
[quote=dgfurman;12592959]What a sad story. And the real loser is the boy, who was conceived under false pretenses, and not wanted, and will grow to know that, b/c his bio dad doesn't have any relationship with him.
Both parents are to blame - she, big time, for trying to trap a man who told her he did not want a child, and he, for having unprotected sex (if he didn't use a condom) with someone who he knew wanted one.
Nevertheless, a little boy will suffer, for his parents' stupidity and selfishness. The dad is probably VERY resentful of her actions, and b/c of that, that makes it easier to distance himself emotionally from a boy he never wanted. That boy is a constant reminder to him of how he was used, and deceived.
However, I personally would not want to be with a man, that could father a child (wanted or not), and walk away from him. This poor boy did nothing to deserve this, and as a parent, I would welcome the child into my household. That is the loving, decent thing to do.[/quote]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Le Lune
Well, the mother should get the flak too Both were wrong, but it seemed like everyone is harassing the father just because he didn't want a relationship with the "b@stard" child.
He is a loving father to his wife and daughter, if you guys forgot.
No one has forgotten, so that makes amends for all the pain he is causing/has caused his son? It's ok to ignore one child if you are a loving with another? You are definitely from the same planet as the scumbucket.
Jude Law case
Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. Dan
Thats right! The children should be treated equal. No matter who the mama is! As a matter of fact the dads behavior should tell mom #2 ALOT about this "man!"
Absolutely -
so when "Dad of the year" becomes pissed at babyMamma#2, does he get ignore and reject his daughter??
SCUM. It's even worse because he has another child he is infecting with his selectivity.
Thats right! The children should be treated equal. No matter who the mama is! As a matter of fact the dads behavior should tell mom #2 ALOT about this "man!"
I agree. The man is a lowlife if he wants nothing to do with his son. His money support means nothing (well, outside the fact that he's being financially responsible). If he has it in him to be an adoring father to his baby girl, I don't understand how he can NOT care for his son as well. It's just beyond me. And I would hope that the current wife is encouraging him to give serious consideration to becoming a part of his son's life. This guy is NOT an "amazing" father!
He is punishing HIS SON for the actions of the mother. IMO this makes him a low life scum sucking maggot who i would like to meet some day to have a "little talk" with.
If the mother is willing to drop him off at the swingset in a public park and skedaddle, I'll be around an hour later to come pick him up.
Trust me, there are degenerate fathers out there. My dad had girlfriends left and right during marriages, took us from our mother, gave me back, and completely disowned me by the time I was 12. Charming and intelligent to boot, he is psychotic. Thank god I did not follow in his footsteps; I'm 40 and never had my own family or relationships.
If the mother is willing to drop him off at the swingset in a public park and skedaddle, I'll be around an hour later to come pick him up.
I don't want to see her--ever again.
Oh how nice, leave a toddler alone in a public park for an hour while you make sure the baby momma isn't around.
Mandatory sterilization for some people should be reinstated. How dare you take out on any child - but even worse, YOUR child - your anger at another adult, even if that adult is the babymomma or babydaddy.
Thats right! The children should be treated equal. No matter who the mama is! As a matter of fact the dads behavior should tell mom #2 ALOT about this "man!"
Background Story my husband and I were just discussing about a friend of ours:
35 yr old Professional Male dating a professional woman of the same age for 6+ months. Even though they were exclusive, he clearly stated that he was not interested yet in marriage or kids, but expected to marry and have kids one day. She made it clear that she was ready for both.
She was on birth control when they started dating, but apparently stopped after a few months without letting know him know. She got pregnant, didn't want to end the pregnancy because she was ready for a child and was afraid to abort and lose the opportunity because of her age.
He left her, she won child support which he pays religiously, but he refuses to have anything to do her or their son.
One year later he met a different woman, they dated for a year, got married and just had a baby girl- he absolutely adores his little girl and is an amazing father.
IMO, I think the first woman tried to trap him and/or get pregnant regardless. She is a conniving b*tch in my book and doesn't deserve him.
On the other hand, if he knew he wasn't ready for kids, why would he or any guy for that matter, put such great faith in a girl they date to be solely responsible for not getting pregnant? Why didn't he protect himself? So although not the same, I feel he is somewhat culpable and needs to bear that responsibility, which he does by paying child support.
But what about this poor little boy? - I just feel so bad for him. Is it that easy for a man to completely live as if that child didn't exist outside of being a financial responsibility? This is a man who is a loving father to his new baby girl .
Would you guys be able cut off all ties to a child of yours? Maybe I'm being naive, I know deadbeats do this all the time, but I guess I'm asking those men that value family & children.
Haven't read any responses yet....
Why people don't protect themselves with birth control is beyond me. Until you are in a solid relationship with someone you trust 100 percent, why do people risk it.
I would NEVER ever date or marry a man who neglects his previous children or acts as if they don't exist, no matter how they were conceived. Yuck, that is just so disgusting to me that anyone could do this to their own child.
Well, at least he pays child support. He has the legal obligation anyway.
Here's the deal: just because you put your thing inside a female's hole and it turns out it feels good, doesn't necessarily mean he has to have contact with the little guy.
That wouldn't be controversial if he stayed single. But he's with another woman now and raising his daughter, so yeah, the guy is piece of work.
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It's not like his ex would need to be around for that. Meet somewhere, get the child, have a great day together, take the child back home to Mom. No more that a few words would need to be exchanged. If it's long distance, travel to visit. 
Both were wrong, but it seemed like everyone is harassing the father just because he didn't want a relationship with the "b@stard" child.
