EX Fiance wants to be a part of my life... (date, how to)

[jone173]

Long story short. Girl and Guy date for 6 years. Guy asks girl "Will you marry me?" Girls says Yes!!! Plan a wedding, everything is great. Buy a house, wedding is 1 month away, everything is great. Move into house, Girls says "I can't do this", leaves the ring, and you never hear so much as a peep from her.

Now fast foward 10 months from then, last friday, and Guy gets a phone call on his way home from work....guess who it is???

We ended up talking on the phone for over and hour an decided to meet somewhere to continue our converstation. Around 3am we decide to part ways but continue to talk to each other over the phone.

So, she ends up telling me the following things among other but you catch the drift -

• I really screwed up, I can't imagine how bad I hurt you
• I don't see myself with anybody else
• I can't love somebody the way I love you
• I want to be a part of your life again

I don't really know what to think about everything, its alot to process. It will take her moving a mountain to gain my trust to ever start a friendship again. She is taking counseling to try and get her life back on track as she admits to making poor decision which have cause most all of her relationships to suffer.

I have no idea how to handle this, has anybody gone through anything similar? Is it possible to become friends again or is that line to easy to cross again.

Thanks for everyting

[Jays1983]

I'd be running for the hills, but I'm also a notorious quitter. ;-)

[max's mama]

Originally Posted by jone173

Long story short. Girl and Guy date for 6 years. Guy asks girl "Will you marry me?" Girls says Yes!!! Plan a wedding, everything is great. Buy a house, wedding is 1 month away, everything is great. Move into house, Girls says "I can't do this", leaves the ring, and you never hear so much as a peep from her.

Now fast foward 10 months from then, last friday, and Guy gets a phone call on his way home from work....guess who it is???

We ended up talking on the phone for over and hour an decided to meet somewhere to continue our converstation. Around 3am we decide to part ways but continue to talk to each other over the phone.


So, she ends up telling me the following things among other but you catch the drift -

• I really screwed up, I can't imagine how bad I hurt you
• I don't see myself with anybody else
• I can't love somebody the way I love you
• I want to be a part of your life again

I don't really know what to think about everything, its alot to process. It will take her moving a mountain to gain my trust to ever start a friendship again. She is taking counseling to try and get her life back on track as she admits to making poor decision which have cause most all of her relationships to suffer.

I have no idea how to handle this, has anybody gone through anything similar? Is it possible to become friends again or is that line to easy to cross again.

Thanks for everyting

Although I haven't gotten through this experience and I'm much of a believer of second chances and giving someone benefits of a doubt, my first initial instinct is to tell you to move on and not take that route again. It's natural to have cold feet before marriage, but the way she handled the situation seems so cold-hearted and irrational, that I wouldn't suggest to jump into that pool again. There is lots of other fish in the sea.

[yankeegirl313]

So, what was her reason for taking off like that?

[Kazz]

Not a chance. You only get to dump me once.

[yankeegirl313]

It sounds to me like she wants to keep you a hangin`...

I feel like, she had her chance. It was all set up and ready to go!

Almost a year later, she contacts you, and throws this at you?

[e.ortega]

Originally Posted by jone173

Long story short. Girl and Guy date for 6 years. Guy asks girl "Will you marry me?" Girls says Yes!!! Plan a wedding, everything is great. Buy a house, wedding is 1 month away, everything is great. Move into house, Girls says "I can't do this", leaves the ring, and you never hear so much as a peep from her.

Now fast foward 10 months from then, last friday, and Guy gets a phone call on his way home from work....guess who it is???

We ended up talking on the phone for over and hour an decided to meet somewhere to continue our converstation. Around 3am we decide to part ways but continue to talk to each other over the phone.


So, she ends up telling me the following things among other but you catch the drift -

• I really screwed up, I can't imagine how bad I hurt you
• I don't see myself with anybody else
• I can't love somebody the way I love you
• I want to be a part of your life again

I don't really know what to think about everything, its alot to process. It will take her moving a mountain to gain my trust to ever start a friendship again. She is taking counseling to try and get her life back on track as she admits to making poor decision which have cause most all of her relationships to suffer.

I have no idea how to handle this, has anybody gone through anything similar? Is it possible to become friends again or is that line to easy to cross again.

Thanks for everyting

You seem like a really great guy to even stay on the phone with her for that long and hook up with her later on to speak some more........ The first 20min would of rapped everything up for me.

I think she will do you the same way even worse if she is given another oppportunity she will walk all over you like if were her rug and think you will always be there for her to do the same thing.

If you want to remain friends with her fine but don't go beyond that if you don't want to get hurt again my friend

[wigirl920]

Originally Posted by jone173

I have no idea how to handle this, has anybody gone through anything similar? Is it possible to become friends again or is that line to easy to cross again.

Thanks for everyting

It is possible in some situations but it really depends on the two people involved. If it were me, I'd back off and just let her do the counseling. She obviously has things to deal with yet - as do you, from the sounds of it (the trust issues).

Good luck!

[Curmudgeon]

Isn't doing the same thing over again and expecting different results a definition for insanity?

[sierraAZ]

Girl got cold feet or Girl thought she'd do better. Girl didn't do better, so Girl remembered Guy. Guy said: you messed up my life enough; take a hike!