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Location: somewhere close to Tampa, but closer to the beach
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Quote:
Originally Posted by solytaire
See, I think women arent as heavily chastised because like many other aspects of society they are still benefiting from their perceived victim status, while perpetrating deception and betraying vows themselves.
Society at large is still under the impression that men usually do the approaching..therefore when a man cheats, people assume its because HE pursued it. However because women have always traditionally been the receivers of men's advances, people assume that if a woman has cheated then its because she was approached and preyed upon by some scummy, ruthless man, seeking to capitalize on her emotional vulnerability because in all probability, considering her default female victim social status, she was also being sh*tted on/emotionally neglected by her husband or boyfriend, so that husband/boyfriend only got what he deserved...
it all stems from the traditional establishment of social roles with males being perceived as the villain and females as the victims. Someone has always got to be the bad guy..and in our society, men are always, well, the bad guys..lol
Oh, i completely agree with that statement soly..adn yes, more often then not, when a man does cheat, it is huge news.. less so then when a woman does...but, women are just as guilty of being the "bad guy"..or gal in this case...lol..and while society might take it less seriously, as it seems, i don't..a cheater, of either sex, is just as bad..
Oh, i completely agree with that statement soly..adn yes, more often then not, when a man does cheat, it is huge news.. less so then when a woman does...but, women are just as guilty of being the "bad guy"..or gal in this case...lol..and while society might take it less seriously, as it seems, i don't..a cheater, of either sex, is just as bad..
Ditto.. cant stand cheaters..like I seriously cant stand them...I dont think its cute, and I dont think it means that they are incredibly desirable...I just think they have no discipline, decency nor will power. I would rather just break up with, or be broken up with rather than be in a dishonest relationship.
its all about him 24/7.
good OP. discussing women's shortcoming got banned bout 1977. from then on the EEOC cops have been out in force. when women post on CDF about hacking his cell phone and email accounts w/o batting an eye, this says volumns.
Well to be honest men cheat more than women do so that's why you'll see more men get beat up for it.
It may be true that more men want to cheat but the actual breakdown by sex is rather close. The differences are due to how often such situations see the light of day. This is due to:
Men who do most of the cheating (5% of men) are high profile - good looking, wealthy, confer status or some combination that makes this interesting to those spreading the news. (usually gossips, most doesn't make the news)
Women find it much easier to cheat (men will often "line up" for the opportunity) and to keep it a secret. (why would a guy ruin his chance to "get lucky"?) In fact, when this is uncovered, women often seem to have a wish to be caught. Otherwise, private investigators are often needed to get the evidence.
Other men who want cheat, if it is even possible for them, must often take their opportunities from a rather disreputable sector of women, often leading to early and rather embarrassing disclosure. These women often have reasons other than sex to participate - hopes for a relationship or blackmail - and this makes it seem more prevalent than it really is.
One thing that I think needs to be pointed out is the fact that women often cheat with the same few select men. Consequently there are more women for these men to cheat with, While it seems that women cheat with fewer men...which technically is true.
Women want what each other have...there is no getting around that.. and an unfortunate consequence of it is that they will forever subject themselves to heartbreak, stemming from their inherent attraction to males who are wanted by many other females....Men on the other hand, are perfectly comfortable being with the woman whom no one has even touched (provided she's attractive somehow, of course, and doesnt have some raging STD..lol). So when women cheat, its usually with non other than the same select few men that other women want.
Women dont want men who SEEM like they are incapable of attracting several other women...they generally want a man who AT LEAST has the ABILITY to be a player/attractive to many other women. Although when they actually enter a relationship with these HIGHLY potential players, they DO seem to expect some level of exclusivity..or at least they say they do...I personally think women dont mind being cheated on as much as they say they do. It lets them know they are like every other woman, who has a "desirable manly man"...they dont mind it as much as they say they do.
So while it seems that more men cheat, actually what is happening is that the few select men that are highly desirable, are ABLE to cheat with as many women as they want to. Because women actually dont desire men who arent widely desired by other women or taken by another woman. A highly desired man who can have several women actually takes on a role as a social trophy for a woman. Now when he decides to exercise his ability to sleep with multiple women, then his high level of marketability kind of backfires on the woman he is already with...or at least thats what they'd have you believe.
I decided to start this thread because I had noticed for a while now that men get absolutely reamed and bashed for cheating, but when a women cheats, there is more sympathy for the women, and in some cases blame for the man being cheated on for not being there "emotionally" for his girlfriend/wife or not fulfilling the traditional duties as a "man" in that specific relationship. I especially noticed this topic in full swing when I read he thread in hear and on other forums about the John Edwards affair. He is being ripped to shreds, and rightfully so, but I've heard just as many stories involving women cheating, some of them doing so in the same disgusting manner that John Edwards did, but there is no vitriol or venom aimed towards women.
I wonder why that is? Do women get a pass because of the emotional factor, or is it because it is more popular to hate on men whenever one screws up? Oddly enough, I've noticed just as many men hating on other men for cheating, but not really going after women for the same thing? Are men also following this trend more and more because they find it disgusting, or is it for other reasons?
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