This Is Why I'm Still Single (girl, advice, friend, responsible)
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First of all, if I was ever unemployed, I would not be going out on a date. I would never go dutch on a date and I would pay for all my dates. I am the man, it is my responsibility to have my own car, pick her up (unless we meet somewhere) and pay for our date. No I would never ask her for money. If I needed change of a 20, I go up to the cashier or waiter and get change of a 20.
If I can't take care of myself and support myself, how am I ever going to take care of her?
Now to the OP, um you don't owe him any explanation. Ignore his calls, texts, whatever. He'll never get it that he messed up and of course he'll blame you rather than looking in the mirror. You'll get better answers from a brick wall.
I wouldn't even get that far with a woman. The minute I found out she is unemployed, I would have done a runner. Call me shallow, superficial, whatever, but if a woman hasn't got a job then she isn't worth my time.
And before someone says it, if I was unemployed for reasons beyond my control, I wouldn't even date any woman. I would remain single until I was financially capable to hold my own.
Ok, someone asked me how do I consider myself a manlet? I read in one of these threads that it meant someone who is under 6' tall. Now I tried searching this term in google, but work is blocking some sites so I can't get my answer. Now I also saw in that thread about a sublet, a beta whatever.
So whatever the new term for short people or ugly people is, I don't give a rats butt. If you want to label me that, fine, but I'll ignore it.
I joined two online dating sites recently and went on my first date in a long time yesterday. My date had to borrow his sister's car to come on our date. When he got there, we had Tex Mex which he was trying for the first time. He really liked it. We had good conversation throughout. When the bill comes, he says "So, how are we gonna do this?" and he turns to me.....I'm glad I was able to convince him to try the restaurant's special which was fajitas for two at $12.87 which is normally $25. I ended up paying for our meal which included his sprite and the tip. Total was right below $20 so not expensive at all....but...so we leave the restaurant. Outside in the parking lot, he catches me off-guard and kisses me. One of the worst kisses I've had in a long time. He suggests we go to the mall. By the way, I knew he was unemployed before we went on the date. I didn't let that bother me since many have fallen on hard times lately. (But he doesn't even have a cell phone.) Well, once in the mall, he asks to borrow my cell phone to call his sister to find out if he can stay out later or if she needs him to return with the vehicle. He is 32 y/o. (He is currently living with his sister rent-free.) I tell him I'm meeting some of my friends at a pub. He says "I don't want you to go to the pub, I rather you stay and hang out with me." I was just laughing inside. You can't even pay for a $20 meal yet u wanna tell me what to do?? LOL. So I say, well, where exactly are we gonna go? He has no money or at least pretends not to and I definitely am not gonna pay for anything else. So I told him it was either we go to the pub or he can leave. He suggests we go to my place to which I responded by scoffing. He goes with me to a pub where I met some of my friends. He was so quiet...didn't say a word to my friends outside of "Hi, I'm _______." He left shortly thereafter and went home. I stayed with my friends. He asked me if I was going to call him today. I didn't. I get a message from him saying "Did I do that poorly last night that I don't even get a last call to say things won't work. I have to admit I expected better from you. I guess I miss judged u." So that's his message word for word, spelled just like he did.
Needless to say, there will not be a second date. How could he expect a second date and for me to be head over heels with him after that?????
I think you should go on a 2nd date. You never know.
How about because this is the 21st century and it's no longer considered "chivalrous" to presume a woman doesn't have the financial wherewithal to pay her share; in fact it's practically considered patronizing. Just as you'd dump a guy who didn't pick up the whole tab on the first date, I would have serious reservations about a second date with a woman who thinks the man should pick up the tab on the first date. What that says to me is "she expects to be a kept woman." That doesn't fly in 2010.
Most of the MEN that I know, DO consider it proper to pay....on ANY date. It's only because of the plethora of cheap sniveling man-weasels that so many women have started paying half. It's NOT my "share" if YOU asked me out. It's YOUR responsibility to pay for a date that YOU have offered. It's the 21st century, but that doesn't mean that respect and etiquette is dead.
First of all, if I was ever unemployed, I would not be going out on a date. I would never go dutch on a date and I would pay for all my dates. I am the man, it is my responsibility to have my own car, pick her up (unless we meet somewhere) and pay for our date. No I would never ask her for money. If I needed change of a 20, I go up to the cashier or waiter and get change of a 20.
If I can't take care of myself and support myself, how am I ever going to take care of her?
Now to the OP, um you don't owe him any explanation. Ignore his calls, texts, whatever. He'll never get it that he messed up and of course he'll blame you rather than looking in the mirror. You'll get better answers from a brick wall.
However, don't give up, you'll find someone.
Great post!
Quote:
Originally Posted by zz4guy
I think you should go on a 2nd date. You never know.
Not gonna happen. I exchanged a few text messages with him today to just get it out there. I asked him if he would pay if we were to go on a second date. His answer "Well if I have money." aka no because he does not have money. I explained how that is a deal breaker for me and that staying in all the time is not my thing. I am very social. He said "we could still have fun staying in." Me: "That would not work for me. I hope your situation improves. In the meantime, I will see what's out there. You were my first date off (site)." No response from him yet.
See, i was thinking..if Ms. MT had said a red Blazer w/ gold buttons and dark hair..i would have assumed that she really does love her Captain.. but, with the blue one,..makes me think the fetish might be more in line with someone who is more of an Academic character....though i could see her dating an airline pilot..
D, hey, if you look alright in 'em..go for it..but, for the most part, only manlets wear the "tough guy" pinkies..since they are juzzt suoowww thensitiv'....puke And yes, jays makes a good point ..often they have the chin strap thingiee as well..though it is debatable as to if this is a manlet trait or just something they have copied to make themselves look all manly..
Well, I do flirt with the pilots at the airport.
I was actually referring to this man (and oh, was he 100% pure man) I met once. He was wearing that exact outfit. Sigh. And I do believe he was in academia among other things. A well dressed man gets me every time.
His response to my last text which said I was going to continue dating and see what's out there.
HIM: "NO. its all all or nothing. If you never remember anything I have said to you remember this, if you do that it will be finish between us and there will be no second chance ever. I don't want to loose you there is a lot I like about you but I don't play second fiddle to anyone. Do not go that route just hang in there with me. You would really just walk away from me because I don't have money right now."
I feel bad for him. He really is a nice guy but I wouldn't have much respect for him and I need to respect a guy if I'm dating him or it won't go anywhere. I feel like I'd be dating someone in high school. I'm way too grown up for that.
Thanks for posting - I repped you because it was a fun story to read.
What I don't get is why you went to the mall with him - and offered to allow him to accompany you to the pub after that?????
If I had to PAY for the guy on the first date - I'd be telling him right then and there that things were never going to go further.
Dutch is bad enough - I'd probably dump a guy if he wanted to go dutch on a first date too. (He'd have to have the best reason in the world for not wanting/ able to be chivalrous)
What a mooching loser.
You sound like a really nice person though, don't give up!!!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^I want to know why all the "liberated ladies" on CD havent jumped all over this post.
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