Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I would definitely talk to him and tell him your feelings. Funny thing hubby and I started out that way, really good friends. He was into me, and I wanted nothing more than friendship. After a year I ended up falling in love with him. Hubby held out just in case, and guess what? He got what he wanted
I did make it perfectly clear to him, I only wanted friendship, but he was persistant!
I think you are blatantly misleading this fellow and using him for a meal ticket.
If I go after a person who is friendly but decisively not-interested, typically she will refer to me as "Friend" or "Bud" if we set up plans to do something, and she might try and split the cost of the meal if we hang out. I'd find it dishonest if she allowed me to take her out and buy her meals (not just one, but for several weekends), take her out and entertain her, and stay at her apartment....only to blindside me like you're about to do with this poor chap.
Couldn't agree more. One meal is permissible but several dinners and movies and he's paid for them all....that is downright manipulative.
Is he mad because you are not sleeping with him? Likely no. Is he mad because you are using him? Likely, yes.
It is girls like this that give women a bad rap with men.
I think I already know the answer to this, but recently I've been 'going out' with a guy who is twice my age. We started off as business partners, but then he started taking me out to dinner and movies the past few weekends.
I knew he was attracted to me, but I wasn't sure he wanted to take it to that level. I didnt want to take it to that level either because he's not my type. We havent had sex at all.
Last weekend, he cancelled our 'get together' saying he was busy...and knowing him better than that (since last October), I think he's upset because I'm not putting out to him. He made a few gestures last time he was at my apartment, but I didn't make any moves. I've stayed over at his house several times already...spent 2 days there one time, and he never made any moves on me. So I thought it was all platonic.
The reason I'm not having sex is because #1 we are business partners. We work in photography. #2 he is not my type and I don't want to lead him on just because he buys me dinner and movies.
But at the same time, I feel Im leading him on by letting him pay for my meals. But he always extends the invitation and I just go along with it because I really cant afford but to eat at home right now. Last weekend I ordered a glass of wine with my dinner. Which may have made it to 'datelike' ...I'm a bit of an addict but had I had wine at home like I do now, I would have certainly shared with him.
I dont know, what you think?
He is not upset with you. He is just being nice IMO? When guys I work with buy me lunch, ain't no way in h*** I'm sleeping with them!LMAO............
Location: Georgia, on the Florida line, right above Tallahassee
10,471 posts, read 15,833,234 times
Reputation: 6438
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joei
I think I already know the answer to this, but recently I've been 'going out' with a guy who is twice my age. We started off as business partners, but then he started taking me out to dinner and movies the past few weekends.
I knew he was attracted to me, but I wasn't sure he wanted to take it to that level. I didnt want to take it to that level either because he's not my type. We havent had sex at all.
Last weekend, he cancelled our 'get together' saying he was busy...and knowing him better than that (since last October), I think he's upset because I'm not putting out to him. He made a few gestures last time he was at my apartment, but I didn't make any moves. I've stayed over at his house several times already...spent 2 days there one time, and he never made any moves on me. So I thought it was all platonic.
The reason I'm not having sex is because #1 we are business partners. We work in photography. #2 he is not my type and I don't want to lead him on just because he buys me dinner and movies.
But at the same time, I feel Im leading him on by letting him pay for my meals. But he always extends the invitation and I just go along with it because I really cant afford but to eat at home right now. Last weekend I ordered a glass of wine with my dinner. Which may have made it to 'datelike' ...I'm a bit of an addict but had I had wine at home like I do now, I would have certainly shared with him.
I dont know, what you think?
Some quick assumptions.
You are 18, he is 36. He just wants to get in your pants and he's a cradle robber.
You are 20, he is 40. He just wants to get in your pants and if he succeeded, he'd be the envy of college boys 20 years his junior.
You are 23, he is 46. He just wants to get in your pants and he might need a rest afterwards.
You are 25, he is 50. He just wants to get in your pants and he might need to take a Viagra.
Then again, you might be 30 and he is 60. And that's kind of cool. I'd be giving gramps the high five!!
He makes an overture, you rebuff. He tries a few more times, you rebuff. He realizes he's never gonna get it.
Then he cancels, 'cuz he's busy. I know what I'd be busy doing.
Finding someone who didn't rebuff me. And then spending money on them.
Interesting, though. He rebuffed you back. I wouldn't worry about many more "gestures'. Hopefully a man at that age can determine that he struck out.
What I am even more confused about is reading the content in the opening post - you know, eventually ordering wine in his presence. . . and then seeing the status message: "Status: "sippin on chardonnay, sex is better when Im feeling this way"
Maybe it's just me. Maybe there's really more to the story. Whoa-K. Going back into my la-la land. . .
Great catch...that status says a lot!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by thetruthcomesout
You see people...
These are the kind of women I talk about. They have no intentions of being in an intimate relationship with a man, but she has no problems using him.
There are women like this, but don't put us all in that category.
Quote:
Originally Posted by all_love
I think he should have told her what he had in mind. Men like buying women nice things and taking care of them it makes guys happy from what i've seen but to feel like your being used is on the givers part. If you do anything for anyone and want something for it other than a thank-you then you have to put your cards on the table and make your request.
Hi I believe people should inform the another person of their intentions because if someone ask me to go to dinner i think it's just dinner either male or female .In my life I've been out with women and they bought me things and I was still clueless until someone else told me because Iam never looking to have a relationship Iam thinking we're just enjoying each other's company. It should never matter if someone feels some type of way about not having sex with unless you guys are married or in a serious relationship.
A man who takes you out to dinner and movies several times, AND makes gestures toward you, IS letting his intentions known. She knows exactly what she was doing. Did you read her other post in the debate forum? She basically wants to know why Americans don't give out money. She is complaining that people don't give her money!!
You sure?, her behavior is more reflective of someone in elementary school. She should know better by that age.
Sometimes when you're young, you're dumb.
Obviously this girl needs to learn a few things...
1) He ain't taking you to dinner because he wants conversation
2) If you're going to start toying with a man's affections for nice dinners, weekend getaways, an outfit from Forever 21 and some rent money you'll need to learn to do a few little tease & appease tricks
and the best tip of all
3) Don't go out with men that you know are attracted to you (and let them pay) that you have no interest in.
If you aren't into him and he clearly is into you, don't lead him on for the sake of your own ego.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
...I'm a bit of an addict but had I had wine at home like I do now, I would have certainly shared with him.
When guys I work with buy me lunch, ain't no way in h*** I'm sleeping with them!LMAO............
