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Anybody else find the premise of this a little creepy?
Desire and attraction doesn't necessarily make one a stalker. If a woman says "No" with finality, then that's it. Gave over. Move on.
I think this premise has also been severely romanticized by movies, books, etc.
The classic example is the fairy tale story where the prince goes through all varieties of hardships (dragons, bewitched forests, and evil fairies! Oh my!) to get to the princess.
I agree that if a man wants to take you out on a date bad enough, he will find a way to make it happen, but for this ideology to extend to all facets of relationships is overreaching.
Like many guys will say, it's not that he doesn't want to commit. He just doesn't want to commit to you.
Yep. I met my husband on an online dating site. His profile said he "wasn't looking for a serious relationship". I was freshly divorced and felt the same way - just wanted to meet some new people and have some fun, date around. But when we met each other, we discovered that we really did want a serious relationship . . . . with each other.
I have a good friend that was married and divorced and swore he would NEVER get married again. That stuck until he met someone who rocked his world on all levels - they got married last year.
I really think it's all about meeting the right person. Frequently that will even overcome it not being "the right time" to meet someone.
If a man truly wants you, chances are he'll always want you. But a man with any self-respect and consideration for the woman, will walk away and leave it alone once it is clear that it's not mutual.
If a man truly wants you, chances are he'll always want you. But a man with any self-respect and consideration for the woman, will walk away and leave it alone once it is clear that it's not mutual.
Indeed. Wanting a woman is one thing, but acting desperate and tolerating crap from said woman is just sad and not something anyone with an ounce of self-respect would do. If the interest isn't mutual, then the person should walk away with his dignity still intact.
Indeed. Wanting a woman is one thing, but acting desperate and tolerating crap from said woman is just sad and not something anyone with an ounce of self-respect would do. If the interest isn't mutual, then the person should walk away with his dignity still intact.
Right, 'course I think we all, of both sexes have had our nose opened up. It's that voice that says, How is it possible that I could be so strong for her and she doesn't feel the same? We are incredulous, the two sides of our brains at war with each other, and sometimes it can take a real jolt to wake us up.
The pity is some guys/girls take a long time to learn this, and in the meantime can put themselves and the object of their 'affection' (obsession) thru hell.
Firstly. The person in question does not want the OP, he is a friend of the OP !!
Secondly, At no point in the post does the OP imply that the man in question is stalking, or obsessive about his ex, just that he would take her back again.
Does nobody actually read these things ??????
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Humble
Right, 'course I think we all, of both sexes have had our nose opened up. It's that voice that says, How is it possible that I could be so strong for her and she doesn't feel the same? We are incredulous, the two sides of our brains at war with each other, and sometimes it can take a real jolt to wake us up.
The pity is some guys/girls take a long time to learn this, and in the meantime can put themselves and the object of their 'affection' (obsession) thru hell.
After reading all the great responses, I have come to the conclusion that there are discrepancies in what women want and what men will put up with. I guess the better question might be : When does a man go too far?
A man may be truly in love with a woman, but if the woman does not love him back ... if she finds him ugly, repulsive, strange, or if she finds him wholesome, nice, kind, and a truly good person yet has no feelings for him, why would she date him? Why would she become his woman? Out of pity?
I don't know....but that makes me think of my husband because he's done the same thing as the "woman" you described....
Shelia~ "oh Diane your hubby is adorable, how did you meet?"
Diane~" well I didn't like him at first, he kept stalking me, I had a restraining order put out, shot him in the leg when he forced his way in one night when I went to slam the door, had my dog attack his ass, and told him he was a pitiful manlet who I wouldn't date if he was the last man on Earth. But he never gave up and 10 years later after moving to 7 different states to avoid him I just realized that he was the one".
Finally the plot for a chick flick that might keep a guy on the edge of his seat!
The "he knows she loves him too" is critical. In some circumstances a man may not try to be with a women he loves unless he knows that she loves him too and that they will agree to have a relationship together.
What is apparent from these types of situations is that the woman decides who she is interested in and then he must not only determine this but then sweep her off her feet. Only this satisfies such a woman.
Therefore, only the type of guy who is almost certain that he has the looks and attributes to melt almost any woman's heart can operate this way. The rest will either get arrested eventually or slapped with many restraining orders!
Men are fed up with playing these games.
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I met my husband on an online dating site. His profile said he "wasn't looking for a serious relationship". I was freshly divorced and felt the same way - just wanted to meet some new people and have some fun, date around. But when we met each other, we discovered that we really did want a serious relationship . . . . with each other.
