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So I've seen the arguments about women settling for "Mr. Good Enough" rather than holding out for Mr. Right. But my question is...what if you aren't even finding a "Mr. Good Enough"?
My Mr. Good Enough would be:
1. someone I can have a conversation with
2. someone who is attractive to me (he doesn't have to be cut, just attractive to ME)
3. someone who respects me
4. someone who is emotionally available.
5. someone who at least believes God exists
That's it. I'm not being terribly picky I don't think, and I can't find it! So...then what?
I'm approaching 30, no children, perpetually single, and lets just say (regardless of your opinion on my age or whether or not I should feel the way I do) I'm starting to freak out a bit.
Then either you're looking in the wrong place, or you need to change your standard !
How can I change my standard? Those are just the essential pieces of a healthy relationship! The only thing I can remove is the belief in God, which actually I've been willing to do.
fair enough, if the standard is fixed, and you'll accept 4/5, then your method is flawed.
You're only 30.
Ask your question to many of the older members, and see what their response is.
The most important relationship you can have is with yourself.
The rest, you can trust to fate.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweethearttx
How can I change my standard? Those are just the essential pieces of a healthy relationship! The only thing I can remove is the belief in God, which actually I've been willing to do.
fair enough, if the standard is fixed, and you'll accept 4/5, then your method is flawed.
You're only 30.
Ask your question to many of the older members, and see what their response is.
The most important relationship you can have is with yourself.
The rest, you can trust to fate.
Yes I'll give you that...if I accept 4/5 my method is flawed. Really if I'm honest I have two more dealbreakers: no smoking, and no alcoholics. But again, these are just basic things for a healthy relationship (I don't want to deal with addiction).
I am happy with myself, I just miss having a partner in life and I've been single for a long while. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. But yea...I guess fate is what you really have to rely on huh?
You could drop the "attractive" requirement, and see if an attraction develops with someone you would normally write-off based solely on looks. As I just mentioned in my own thread, I've met one girl in particular who...well...let's just say she doesn't look anything like the girls I normally date. And you know all those girls I mentioned in your other thread? This girl is the least physically attractive of all of them, and yet she's the one who's currently at the top of my list for "people I want to get to know better".
Don't get me wrong. I'm not suggesting you go for some disgusting slob that turns your stomach. Just consider being open to the possibility that someone who at first glance would make you say: "Nah.." might be worth a second look.
I've been where you are, but trust me, It's better to be lonely on your own, than lonely in a bad relationship.
If you can be truly happy with yourself, then you'll never be lonely.
A relationship with another person will only ever compliment this one, it can never replace it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweethearttx
Yes I'll give you that...if I accept 4/5 my method is flawed. Really if I'm honest I have two more dealbreakers: no smoking, and no alcoholics. But again, these are just basic things for a healthy relationship (I don't want to deal with addiction).
I am happy with myself, I just miss having a partner in life and I've been single for a long while. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. But yea...I guess fate is what you really have to rely on huh?
You could make yourself more attractive, which would put you in a better spot to receive more interest. I don't just mean physically, but as a person as well.
You could drop the "attractive" requirement, and see if an attraction develops with someone you would normally write-off based solely on looks. As I just mentioned in my own thread, I've met one girl in particular who...well...let's just say she doesn't look anything like the girls I normally date. And you know all those girls I mentioned in your other thread? This girl is the least physically attractive of all of them, and yet she's the one who's currently at the top of my list for "people I want to get to know better".
Don't get me wrong. I'm not suggesting you go for some disgusting slob that turns your stomach. Just consider being open to the possibility that someone who at first glance would make you say: "Nah.." might be worth a second look.
Yeah I guess I should clarify...I don't expect instant attraction. Although I do expect that within the first few dates I should feel something, or it's not going to be there. Attraction has a lot to do with personality, so I don't write people off quickly unless they just turn my stomach. A lot of the men I meet are overweight, don't take care of themselves, etc. I don't need a man who is cut, but I do want one who takes care of his health. I do. And obesity is not attractive to me.
Perhaps the reason you can't find a man like that is because YOU are not that good of a catch yourself? Perhaps you think you are better than you actually are? No offence, but many people seriously over-rate their character and personalities.
Good men are many places, but if they don't want you then you gotta look at yourself in the mirror and examine your own character and personality. Perhaps you are not really all that. A good man won't come landing on your lap. You have to be a quality good woman yourself to land someone equally good man.
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