Actually, why wait?
Hey Ron, I agree with some of your points but I think that you are being too hard on men while letting women off too easily. It takes two to tango after all and if ther they lack girlfriends? Also, are the various posters actually whining or just pointing out their beliefs and observations with an eye towards understanding and perhaps spreading information? I like to think of myself as the latter.
That said, it is good for a man to be confident and strong... which I'll touch upon later.
Look guys, attracting women is not the only thing life has to offer. Get a hobby??
I'm sure many of them do have hobbies but do hobbies satisfy what is a primal need? Just as stamp collecting will not obviate your need for a good meal, neither will collecting coins (or what not) fufill a natural desire for a mate.
Mating and the desire to find a mate drives us in so many ways, some obvious and some not. It's one of the reasons why women were kept from the battlefield: much easier for one man to repopulate with many women than for a few women to repopulate with many men.
Many men buy nice homes, nice cars, and wear expensive clothing to adverstise their resources to prospective mates just as women wear revealing clothing and makeup to adverstise their beauty, fertility, and sexuality.
Most of the women I date I meet in everyday situations, WITHOUT trying. Nothing special. I see her on the train often and we start talking. The cute cashier at Wal-Greens. The cutie at the dry cleaners,etc.........it's not that hard. Gee-whiz.
For you it is not. This doesn't mean that it's easier for others. I'm a math and science person- calculus for me is easy yet I have to take a great deal of time to tutor one of my current girls (I LOVE college students) because it's not her gift. It's the same thing with meeting women.
Maybe you're tall, good looking, don't care, or have the gift of gab and more power to you, I salute you. But not everyone has that ability. SOme people do try but they always manage to say the wrong thing or come across the wrong way. Without correction and information, they will continue to do poorly and will often just give up.
The most avg. looking dude with just a HINT of self confidence can get a girl and yes, I mean a quality girl. Not some low life bum.
IT IS NOT THAT HARD.
Hmm... there is some truth to that. However, what I think is more accurate is that an average looking guy with confidence (more than a hint) will get a decent girl but only after being rejected by several or many women.
You strike me as someone (please correct me if I am wrong) who will start a conversation with a woman and, should she decide to move on, will not have a problem with this rejection. Just move onto the next. Not every many is like that; it's something that some of us (including myself) needed to learn, i.e. that it's no big deal.
Women, especially attractive ones, are always being approach by men. Because these women don't have the time to chat with every man, out of habit they will just reject him.
Why not, she always has options especially if she is young and attractive.
I emphasize that last sentence: since many women are swimming in possibilities, I think they fail to appreciate that few men are as blessed as they are. That might even extend to some men like yourself who may just be naturally good with women; you can't see that some men, indeed many men, are simply left out in the cold.
There is no shortage of quality women looking for nice guys.
I disagree. First of all: how does one define a "quality woman" and a "nice guy"? To me, a quality woman is someone who has not spent her youth, beauty, and fertility having tons of sexual partners she finds in bars and clubs. She will be pleasant and not over bearing. She will not believe that, "well I had my fun and now it's YOUR job to marry ME." Should marriage occur, divorce will only happen under extreme circumstances and she will follow her husband's lead.
OMG, I realize some are thinking, how unrealistic! You are right: today I would be hard pressed to find such a woman yet two generations ago, the above was the NORM. It's not that hard for a woman to be this way, but the last two generations have been brought up in a toxic environment that makes them poor mates.
Instead, we have defined what a quality women is today to be much different. Just read articles complaining that career women (or single mothers) in their mid to late 30's can't find good men even though said women are supposedly well educated, strong, confident, have great careers, well traveled, and just overall fabulous. All of these attributes, while nice, are not really indicators of a good female mate.
No, not all and even most girls ARE NOT attracted to "bad boys".
What they like about the "bad boy" is his confidence, not his rough neck persona.
Again, disagreeing slightly. Yes, women like confidence but they also like drama. A female physical therapist my father became good friends with during his rehab confided that women like bad boys for the "drama." They aren't "boring."
Look at the romantic comedies that women flock to: all the twists and turns, setbacks and plot developments for the couple to get together. Women love the romantic drama in fiction and may even see this as an indicator of how to proceed in real life. Remember the "rules" which is all about complicating romantic engagements and added unneeded obstacles?
(BTW, if someone brings up the propensity of men to like action films and thus do we seek to emulate them in real life, remember that the stakes in an action film are higher (including injury and death) compared to the romantic comedy (didn't get the guy but hey there is always another one) and thus we are less likely to truly adopt the fantasy of an action movie. Also, men have shown some tendency to emulate action movies in lesser ways such as working out after seeing 300 or the martial arts boom that followed Bruce Lee's Enter the Dragon).
Stop blaming women for your SINGLE, NO DATE having lifestyle.
You're not single because SHE is shallow.
You're not single because SHE is out of "your league".(whatever that means)
You're not single because SHE likes tall guys and you're short.
You're not single because SHE did not have a "daddy" in her life, now she has no Idea how to select "good guys".(LOL)
You're not single because SHE has "unrealistic" expectations.
For Gods sake you're not single because SHE thinks you're ugly!
Based on what?
If a woman doesn't chose you, yes she has some blame in the matter. Of course, it is also incumbent upon the man to be a worthy mate and present it well.
a. most people are shallow at first when it comes to dating. You only have a few minutes to evalute before moving on, inviting a superficial analysis.
b. she may be out of your league although I think that you would agree that that gorgeous woman (or man) may be looking for someone just like you. I see gorgeous women with not so good looking or wealthy men because "he makes me laugh." I ran into a girl recently who was attractive yet thought she was not in my league. Interesting to say the least. So don't be afraid to try!
c. everything else being equal, most women like tall men over short, just as most men like thinner women over fat ones. Just don't let that one attribute limit you. Some great pick up artists are short.
d. at least some psychologists think that girls raised only by women with no strong male influence do look for a man to fill the love she never received from her father. Unfortunately, she lacks a template upon which to find such a man and will often chose wrong. Look at the empircal evidence that shows increased out of wedlock births (and at a younger age) for girls raised without fathers.
e. again, disagreeing. Think of a rock star who can get any girl in the room. He's going to go for what he wants, either a particular type of girl or the hottest woman there. Why would he settle? Similarly, most women can get a guy (at least for the night) and are always getting hit on. Thus many create lists and seek that perfect man. If a man can't quickly display that he fufill many of these qualities, well... there's always another one that will hit on her.
f. maybe he IS ugly! Or fat. Or ill groomed. Fix it: personal improvement is important!
Nice guys are just that, nice guys. It's not a race. No one finishes first or last.
Oh yeah, I never did comment on nice guys. Just what is a "nice guy." Again, definitions vary. A man might consider himself a nice guy and might even be one because he is kind, polite, does charitable work, calls his mom, is chivalrous, whatever...
To
some women, the nice guy is boring. Or needy ("why is he being so nice to me? He must want something."). Or a creepy sociopath (beware the nice ones.) Or he may be weak either physically or emotionally, which may or may not be true.
If a woman perceives you as the above, you will be last while the more confident men, pick up artists, players, bad boys, whatever DO finish first with her. The nice guy is just there to be the last one she is with (although divorce can change that and not for his betterment).
So it is a race, it always has been.
BTW, yes some women DO want nice guys although they would like him to also be strong and confident. The question is: does she select you because she is honestly attracted to you or is she looking for a sucker to support her, one whom she can manipulate? Has she run out of options and you are her last hope or do her values lead her to always seek such a man (I see the latter a great deal with foreign women, one reason why I tend to date them over Western women).
You're single because YOU want to be.
Nonsense. If they want to be single, why are they trying to meet women? Why are they wondering why they are not successful. I think a better statement would be:
"Yes, women have some issues but ultimately you are single because YOU are not doing something right. Find out what they is and fix it!"
If you're still not confident in yourself, sign up for the Wimpy Guys Club. There are lots of members and plenty of memberships available.
Or take my advice above. Learn Game as well.
Guys, get it together and stop acting like women are some larger than life creatures that only a few lucky guys get to enjoy.
That is the takeway. I think that we have the same objectives although you're being a little more tough love and not as constructive as I seek to be. I'll add to your rep when I'm done here.
I would comment though that it's really only a lucky few guys who really get to enjoy a bevy of beauties, especially during both his and her sexual prime (btw, I define that as late teens to 20's- I don't buy the women hit their prime at 40). Many men are just shut out and feeding on the scraps until women realize that they need husbands and the men whom they have been dating (the ones who are successful seducing women) aren't looking to settle down.
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THIS IS NOT A BASHING THREAD. PLEASE DO NOT TURN IT INTO THAT.****
Let's hope.
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