BF of 3 years, cheating? online with underage girl... (dating, boyfriend, girlfriends)

[JMB1990]

I met current boyfriend/fiance sometime around January 24th 2006 on myspace (yes, you can LOL about it he at the time was 20 and I 15(almost 16) and now we are 19 and 24 (soon to be 20 and 25).
At the time he had 2 girlfriends, and a few internet flirting buddies so I ended up dating another guy for a few months, but that ended early December. On December 26th of 2006 my current bf and I ended up getting together officially. He'd gotten rid of the gfs and stopped the internet chatting.
ISSUES 1.) 3 days later he got drunk at a party and physically cheated on me with a girl. I forgave him. ISSUE 2.) He had a gf that had dumped him, and I had my ex who was trying to get back with me... so he made me promise/swear to stop talking to my ex and he'd stop with his... and so I very rudely pushed my ex away even though he was more like a friend than anything. A few years later I find my current bf had talked to his ex for almost a year behind my back even though it was HIS idea to stop talking to them. This has created alot of bitterness. I hate liars.
ISSUE 3.) my bf is a videogamer, he got into WoW after had spent his younger years on FFXI. So Last December on our 2nd year anniversary he bought us it for our computers. I wanted to try and do it together since it'd mean alot to him, in the end I stopped playing. Spending days upon days staring at a screen is just not my thing. I prefer to hang out with friends. Anywho... he then proceeded to loose his job and spend all his time on WoW (loosing his job was not WoW related.) I noticed he seemed to be talking alot with a certain girl, who through "guild" chat I found out was alot younger. I also noticed that when we "partied" together, he'd be "private chatting" with her instead of chatting with her in the "party chat" (you might want to look up said "words in quotations" if you're not familiar with the terms)
I voiced my concerns and he told me there was nothing innappropriate going on. I later found her number on his phone, and noticed her name on his email. I decided I needed to trust him and after 2 years of a rocky trust base I felt I could, I asked him if he'd been talking to her and he said "No" I then asked him to deleted her number and he said ok. This was early/mid October.
January 14th I was bored and googling and noticed he had recently used that certain email. The one he said he wasn't going to use anymore because she knew it. I had came across a password and thought "lets just check" and so I did. One file named "Random," and a list of emails to the same girl from WoW signed "I love you" "I miss you my (insert nickname of her name here)" and things like "it would just be bad if my phone was on the table and you texted. Yeah that would be bad." She emailed him suggestive pictures, and even wrote about trying to send him a nude pic. The first email was from August, and last from November. I found he'd texted/emailed/IMed/and also talked on the phone to this girl. So we'd been on WoW since December, and I found "I Love You" messages from August on... I don't know how much before they'd been talking like that or how close they'd gotten. Most of all I don't know what to believe.
I don't trust him, plain and simple. I just can't. One minute I can be fine and hang out with him, the next the hate/anger is just too much and I could tear the house down. It's been almost a month since I found out. I don't know how to deal with this. The same guy for going on 4 years, the guy that taught me that I Love You is something sacred to say.
He tells me it was a mindgame, that it meant nothing. He dosen't see it as cheating. He dosen't see it as a big deal because it "meant nothing" to him it was just "amusing," he wants to be there for me, and help me through it but sometimes I can't stand being around him. I don't believe it was nothing. I am so angry. So filled with hate. I just wish I couldn't feel anymore. So is this cheating? Not cheating? Common?? I'd like help, advise, something alittle more than "omg leave him"...

[JustJulia]

Sounds like he really likes the younger girls. It's not okay to have racy pics of 15-year-olds. Your boyfriend is headed for a trip to somewhere he's not going to like very much.

[ChessieMom]

Hit yourself a few times if you really can't see this.
Yes it's cheating, he's into sh*t that SCREAMS immaturity. And YES, you need to drop this dude and move ON, the quicker the better.

[JMB1990]

I mostly ask if it's cheating because he seems to say no, I talked to said 15yr old and she says she dosen't know why it's bothering me so much... etc.. I'm beginning to feel like I'm over reacting.

[seeniorita]

Well if your boyfriend doesn't get over his "thing" for minors, you won't have to worry about leaving him. He may be leaving you....headed towards jail. He's playing a very dangerous game and I doubt he will find it so "amusing" when the cops come looking for him.

[bobman]

Paragraphs are our friends !!

Originally Posted by JMB1990

I met current boyfriend/fiance sometime around January 24th 2006 on myspace (yes, you can LOL about it he at the time was 20 and I 15(almost 16) and now we are 19 and 24 (soon to be 20 and 25). At the time he had 2 girlfriends, and a few internet flirting buddies so I ended up dating another guy for a few months, but that ended early December. On December 26th of 2006 my current bf and I ended up getting together officially. He'd gotten rid of the gfs and stopped the internet chatting. ISSUES 1.) 3 days later he got drunk at a party and physically cheated on me with a girl. I forgave him. ISSUE 2.) He had a gf that had dumped him, and I had my ex who was trying to get back with me... so he made me promise/swear to stop talking to my ex and he'd stop with his... and so I very rudely pushed my ex away even though he was more like a friend than anything. A few years later I find my current bf had talked to his ex for almost a year behind my back even though it was HIS idea to stop talking to them. This has created alot of bitterness. ISSUE 3.) my bf is a videogamer, he got into WoW after had spent his younger years on FFXI. So Last December on our 2nd year anniversary he bought us it for our computers. I wanted to try and do it together since it'd mean alot to him, in the end I stopped playing. Spending days upon days staring at a screen is just not my thing. I prefer to hang out with friends. Anywho... he then proceeded to loose his job and spend all his time on WoW (loosing his job was not WoW related.) I noticed he seemed to be talking alot with a certain girl, who through "guild" chat I found out was 15. I also noticed that when we "partied" together, he'd be "private chatting" with her instead of chatting with her in the "party chat" (you might want to look up said "words in quotations" if you're not familiar with the terms) I voiced my concerns and he told me there was nothing innappropriate going on. I later found her number on his phone, and noticed her name on his email. I decided I needed to trust him and after 2 years of a rocky trust base I felt I could finally really trust him, I asked him if he'd been talking to her and he said "No" I then asked him to deleted her number and he said ok. This was early/mid October. January 14th I was bored and googling and noticed he had recently used that certain email. The one he said he wasn't going to use anymore because she knew it. I had came across a password and thought "lets just check" and so I did. One file named "Random," and a list of emails to the same 15 year old signed "I love you" "I miss you my (insert nickname of her name here)" and things like "it would just be bad if my phone was on the table and you texted. Yeah that would be bad." She emailed him suggestive pictures, and even wrote about trying to send him a nude pic. The first email was from August, and last from November. I found he'd texted/emailed/IMed/and also talked on the phone to this girl. So we'd been on WoW since December, and I found "I Love You" messages from August on... I don't know how much before they'd been talking like that or how close they'd gotten. Most of all I don't know what to believe. I don't trust him. One minute I can be fine and hang out with him, the next the hate/anger is just too much and I could tear the house down. It's been almost a month since I found out. I don't know how to deal with this. The same guy for going on 4 years, the guy that taught me that I Love You is something sacred to say. He tells me it was a mindgame, that it meant nothing. He dosen't see it as cheating. He dosen't see it as a big deal because it "meant nothing" to him it was just "amusing," he wants to be there for me, and help me through it but sometimes I can't stand being around him. I don't believe it was nothing. I am so angry. So filled with hate. I just wish I couldn't feel anymore. So is this cheating? Not cheating? Common?? I'd like help, advise, something alittle more than "omg leave him"...

[JMB1990]

LOL Bob... sorry I kinda wrote it in a ranting frenzy... I'll try and edit it.
It didn't take well to the indentations... but it's abit more split up...

[JustJulia]

Originally Posted by JMB1990

I mostly ask if it's cheating because he seems to say no, I talked to said 15yr old and she says she dosen't know why it's bothering me so much... etc.. I'm beginning to feel like I'm over reacting.

In what way is it not cheating to sneak behind someone back, tell another person "I love you" and receive sexy pictures?

Like Chessie said, smack yourself around a little if you really don't see this.

[MAtheBanker]

omg leave him

[MAtheBanker]

In all seriousness, if you REALLY think this guy is IT for you, then you need to rethink your standards. Set the bar higher, my friend.