Is it weird to like a girl that's 19 years older than me?

[BriInNH]

Originally Posted by sunshineleith

Doesn't sound to me like she is "using him" at all actually.
Sounds like she is the one putting on the brakes
Little bit of gender bias going on there Huckleberry???

Actually, I have to disagree here.

There certainly is a moral issue with a 40 year old woman sleeping witha 20 year old "man"

However, the attention and gratification, esteem, ego, etc....can be a form of "using", without any sexual or physical relation.

There are leeches out there who are in despserate need of reassurance, positive attention, ego, etc and will use any means to achieve that supply. Especially a middle-age, lonely, possibly sick woman. Infact, some women would RATHER NOT and completely abstain from physical relations, and still achieve these emotional responses that they need.

This, to be honest, seems like a perfect outlet for a grown woman to take advantage of an unknowing yong kid, by using him for some type of egocentric boost to feel attractive, wanted, or "young"...whatever the use may be.

[Nite Ryder]

If I were you, I'd put a smile on my face and just go along for the ride. And at 39 years old, it will be some ride. That's about the time women decide they don't care what you think about them in the morning, they just want to enjoy themselves tonight. Take it from me, you won't find a 20 year old that will enjoy your abilites as much as this 39 year old will. Tell her you don't want to hear anything more about her age, you just want her to teach you a few of the tricks she has learned in the last 20 years...

[SD4020]

I have a close friends who is 10 years older than me. We hardly notice any age difference. If she'd say the words and want to take things to the next level I would in a heartbeat.

[picklejuice]

Well, at least as the younger male in this kind of set up, you won't be regretting it like the younger females often do. You know, for all the obvious reasons that arise (or don't/ limp) down the line. Misery, is a woman in the prime of life with a husband who is out of it!

Also, you won't regret it unless you want children. You won't mind going through menopause (men-o-scare) with her in ten years or less, when you're only 30, will you?

You don't sound like someone who would be scared off by the fact that you two will eventually get left out of invites for social events from both peer groups because no one knows how to relate to you. Which means, that although you may be on her pal's level mentally, they'll never get past your chronological age. It works the other way, too! But maybe having her as your one and only close friend forever is something that appeals to you?

Even as mature as you're for twenty, many changes will naturally occur in you and her. Your needs and wants will change over the years. She will change over the years! There will be deep set wrinkles coming. Be prepared to see sagging and bagging skin. Extra weight also will accumulate in the areas where she stores weight. Ask yourself if you can live with all of the coming issues. Especially, if you're planning to take vows that are meant to last until death.

^^^Food for thought!

[Sprawling_Homeowner]

Dude, I don't mean to be a killjoy, but you gotta consider a few facts.

If you're 20 I assume you're in college. The woman is nearly 40. She's almost twice your age. Is there potential for the long-term?

You may not even have considered "long-term," but women at that age very much think that. Especially a 39-year-old who is unmarried. Sure, there are women of all ages who accept FWBs, and I'm not saying that's how she sees you. Think about that. How long can you realistically be together?

In addition, the fact she's lived life and done everything you're doing now and much more which you are yet to start doing probably enthralls you. She's probably mature, cosmopolitan, and worldly in a sense the women your age simply can't be due to being young. So, her greater life experience and the confidence that brings understandably drew you.

You may indeed have feelings for her, but you also need to be rational, and ask yourself where this is going. If I were your age, my advice would be quite different. But as someone who's only a few years younger than her, I can't help but see things more from her perspective - the long-term

[Sprawling_Homeowner]

I also wanna say that I have often had crushes on older women... not anybody 19 years older (except when I was in 2nd grade and one of the substitute teachers was a HOT, tall, slim, brunette of German ancestry... I actually went up to her and asked her age once and she laughed).

Got a funny story on older-women crushes...

a few years ago I met this lady who worked as a cashier at a nearby deli... very pretty, charming woman. We're from the same ancestral background. I was smitten and went there for months just to see her.

I was 34 at the time, and I thought she was at least 40 - I even though maybe, 45.

One time I built up the courage to talk to her and she was quite friendly... we talked for 10 minutes, and I asked her out how old she was. Turns out she was 32... and I was so surprised that I lost my composure for a moment and she said with a playful angry smile, "you thought I was older?"

I said, "NO!" But I had been SO busted.

So finally I asked her out but she had a BF.

[MAtheBanker]

Originally Posted by samston

Life is short.

Sometimes we should do what we want, irrespective of what others think.

I find older women attractive, and I don't care less what others think of it. I am not hurting anybody, so why not?

Stay away from my mother!

[tamajane]

She sounds pretty insecure and not good relationship material for a young guy. You, with your whole life ahead of you, have no idea what she is experiencing as a "worried" middle aged woman. If you really have a connection it would be great if you could remain friends.