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Old 05-02-2018, 05:30 PM
710 posts, read 538,617 times
Reputation: 855


My ex was verbally abusive towards me and took advantage of me. I was very sad and angry about it for months, but time has healed some of it. I get angry and sad on occasion, but it doesn’t last long. What helps me is knowing that she’ll eventually get what’s coming to her and that I didn’t deserve that.
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Old 01-16-2020, 11:24 AM
Location: Phoenix, AZ
18,986 posts, read 12,581,800 times
Reputation: 36002
The OP is almost 10 years old, and the poster hasn't posted anything on CD since 2018.

Though it would be interesting to know if they were able to find any peace or healing in the past ten years, I rather doubt we'll get a response at this point.
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Old 01-16-2020, 12:59 PM
Location: Martinsburg, West Virginia
272 posts, read 108,541 times
Reputation: 1119
I had to first acknowledge what happened. It happened to me and it happened to my sisters. I lost a sister to suicide and another sister attempted suicide. I had my first suicidal thoughts when I was four years old. For years, decades, I thought it had happened so long ago and it was like it happened to someone else. I did not connect the dots why I started drinking when I was 11 years old, why I dropped out of high school, why I have so little trust in others, why staying in a relationship is so damned hard.

I then had to process what happened. To do that required that I attend therapy sessions with a counselor and go to Al-Anon meetings. I prayed. I talked and talked and talked. There were things I could not tell the counselor lady so I wrote to a British volunteer group called The Samaritans (www.samaritans.org). Instead of talking, I wrote and wrote and wrote in what were probably dozens of emails back and forth. Once a year had passed, I told the counselor lady about my email correspondence with The Samaritans and why I did not tell her.

Now I continue to pray. I have two people that I can talk to. I understand what triggers my anxiety and PTSD. When the triggers go off, I look to see if there is a threat. I ask myself when the last time it was that I had something to eat. I ask me when the last time it was that I slept and how well. I realize that the other people in Walmart or the grocery store mean me no harm. If that does not work, I put my back to a wall and wait for the panicky feeling to subside to manageable levels. I go to bed at the same time and get up at the same time daily. I eat healthy and I walk quite a bit. I am finding hobbies.

Depression is no joke. I still have the occasional bout. Because I am an alcoholic, I will not take chemicals to control my moods and feelings. That's on me as those were my decisions and the counselor lady understood as did The Samaritans. I'm better and I am progressing. I feel better now than maybe I ever have.

I dealt with depression by learning to communicate. I pray. I learned what my triggers are like crowds, noise, and blood sugar (think "hangry"). Taking sobriety a day at a time has kept me sober for more than 30 years. I deal and dealt with depression by setting small goals and not doing anything ... rash a day or sometimes an hour or less at a time.
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Old 01-17-2020, 02:49 PM
29 posts, read 43,816 times
Reputation: 161
Question for those who were molested...my girlfriend was molested by her uncle and there’s times she says she has to “shut off” from people and won’t respond to calls or texts. Are those things that happened to any of you because of it?

She also seems to get anxiety over everything..
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