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my bf of less than a year almost cheated on me Things (talk only, albeit dirty talk) went on behind my back for about 6 weeks. I found out just after they made the decision that nothing would come of this talk and they stopped talking altogether. I have always been a suspicious type and besides this incident, he has not done anything to deserve my suspicions. He has female friends , some of whom are ex gfs and he says he feels free to become friends with more females in the future. Any ideas on how I can help myself learn to trust him 100% as he deserves? There sometimes seems to be no connection between my heart and my head- I know he is trustworthy and I know I am a good "catch" but I have low self esteem. I know things but dont feel them. thank u
my bf of less than a year almost cheated on me Things (talk only, albeit dirty talk) went on behind my back for about 6 weeks. I found out just after they made the decision that nothing would come of this talk and they stopped talking altogether. I have always been a suspicious type and besides this incident, he has not done anything to deserve my suspicions. He has female friends , some of whom are ex gfs and he says he feels free to become friends with more females in the future. Any ideas on how I can help myself learn to trust him 100% as he deserves? There sometimes seems to be no connection between my heart and my head- I know he is trustworthy and I know I am a good "catch" but I have low self esteem. I know things but dont feel them. thank u
Cut him some slack. He stepped up to the line but did not cross it, because he cares for you and knows better. He could have gone farther if he wanted to. Temptation exists out there for all of us. That he didn't give in to it counts a lot to me. (So long as it does not happen again.)
ETA one more thing - so long as your self esteem is low, you can't truly have the most successful relationship possible for you. Working on your self-esteem is far more important than your situation with your boyfriend.
You need to decide pretty quick if you trust him or not. I always feel that if a person has to second guess if they trust someone, then you don't. There is no in-between. I think no matter what you say in the back of your mind, you will always be tempted to check on him. That's no way to live.
Men and woman both look, but once you cross the line...I AM OUT!
The only thing I can suggest is that you both get counseling. If he refuses to go, kick him to the curb. I think you need individual counseling to work on your self esteem, which has understandably, taken a hit. You also need to have couple's counseling to rebuild trust. I think what he did wasn't half cheating, but full blown cheating and you need to get to the root of why and work on strengthening your bond.
I think you should take a step back from exclusivity to dating. He apparently is not committed to you. Better to give him the space he's been sneakily taking behind your back and take your space. Keep seeing others until you find a better fit or he decides he's ready to be exclusive.
my bf of less than a year almost cheated on me Things (talk only, albeit dirty talk) went on behind my back for about 6 weeks. I found out just after they made the decision that nothing would come of this talk and they stopped talking altogether. I have always been a suspicious type and besides this incident, he has not done anything to deserve my suspicions. He has female friends , some of whom are ex gfs and he says he feels free to become friends with more females in the future. Any ideas on how I can help myself learn to trust him 100% as he deserves? There sometimes seems to be no connection between my heart and my head- I know he is trustworthy and I know I am a good "catch" but I have low self esteem. I know things but dont feel them. thank u
The answer is simple. Don't cheat! I figured that out alone in the first grade!
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