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One can always CHOOSE a partner, but it doesn't mean they'll be good in bed!
I gotta ask, how old are you? Just curious because the words 'sexual liberation' are mentioned several times in your post. You seem to almost be 'spitting' them out.
I'll say it again. Just because a woman fakes it OCCASIONALLY does not mean there is anything wrong with her, it usually means the sex sucks and she is ready for it to be over. It could also mean she's being merciful...meaning it's taking a long time for an orgasm, probably from something other than intercourse, and she just fakes it so the guy can stop without guilt. We girls seem to worry about others a lot more than we worry about ourselves. ::shrug::
BTW, how do you know the man with sexual dysfunction wouldn't blame his partner? Seems he might...in an attempt to save his....'manhood'....
Oh, and nobody said anywhere, I don't think, that they would have sex with someone they weren't attracted to....they could be Brad Pitt and STILL SUCK IN BED!
Take it easy...My age has nothing to do with my outlook...BTW, I have only mentioned "sexual liberation" once..Im not sure what other references you're speaking of.
Anywho...Thats beside the point imo...Most men dont blame their partner for erectile dysfunction...and if they do, any physician or psychologist would tell them that their blame is misplaced...so Im just saying that that same sense of accountability will be taken by women once they take personal responsibility for their orgasm...and as medical science continues to study women's sexuality it will eventually allow them to take that same accountability as well.
I think being merciful, and sparing partner's feelings are all just excuses to shirk one's responsibility for their own orgasm..if they want it, it is there for the taking.
And when I spoke of attraction, I meant that if Brad Pitt sucked in bed, or if his wang was too small, or if he wasnt doing x,y,z..then it is incumbent on his partner to have the courage to either tell the person before hand that the physical compatibility isnt there or continue to evade personal responsibility by sleeping with the person and faking their orgasm..
The same goes for any man who fakes or whatever imo...if he is physically incompatible with his partner he should either tell her that he is not attracted to her, or tell her what she can do different...but his conscious decision to go ahead and have sex with her and then faking his orgasm is by no means a reflection of her..its just another instance of him evading the personal responsibility he had to be forthright imo.
Anyway...if a man is in tone with the energy of the woman he is having sex with then she cannot fake an orgasm....he will definitely know for he will not have her feminine energy fire through him....aho
Nonsense. I apologize for being graphic but men squirt or dribble as evidenced by the wet patch on the sheets but a woman doesn't do that although her natural excess lubrication can certainly add to the mix.
lol..I suppose so, but IMO until women's sense of personal responsibility/accountability over their sex lives catches up to their sense of sexual liberation, women will forever be faking it I suspect......like someone said a few pages ago, the female orgasm isnt necessary for procreation, so it has been deemed inconsequential in the eyes of many.
Inconsequential ... what a sad outlook! I have a rather different view of it. I believe that the induced sense of intimacy (trust, contentment, etc.) resulting from climax helps bind a woman emotionally to a man, which is very good for long-term mating. In evolutionary terms, orgasms are very useful, perhaps not for procreation, but for pair-bonding. I think it's pretty evident, too, when a couple's sex life goes downhill and the marriage or relationship falls apart afterward, because sometimes sex is the only thing that is holding them together. And if a man--yes, maybe one of the infamous bad boys--gives a woman a really great orgasm, next thing you know she looooooooooooooooooves him. It's not real. I think the more "sexually liberated" a woman is, the more easily she will find a great lover who is a bad mate. I don't know if the sexually liberated women are the ones who usually fake orgasms ... I can't really picture why an anorgasmic woman would go through the trouble.
Inconsequential ... what a sad outlook! I have a rather different view of it. I believe that the induced sense of intimacy (trust, contentment, etc.) resulting from climax helps bind a woman emotionally to a man, which is very good for long-term mating. In evolutionary terms, orgasms are very useful, perhaps not for procreation, but for pair-bonding. I think it's pretty evident, too, when a couple's sex life goes downhill and the marriage or relationship falls apart afterward, because sometimes sex is the only thing that is holding them together. And if a man--yes, maybe one of the infamous bad boys--gives a woman a really great orgasm, next thing you know she looooooooooooooooooves him. It's not real. I think the more "sexually liberated" a woman is, the more easily she will find a great lover who is a bad mate. I don't know if the sexually liberated women are the ones who usually fake orgasms ... I can't really picture why an anorgasmic woman would go through the trouble.
I've stayed out of this convo till now but I had a totally different reason for 'faking it'. Not to make a man feel good or to, basically, 'lie' about orgasms. For one thing I think I must be one very lucky woman because I have never had a problem with orgasms, including vaginal, and I was downright shocked to learn that many women DON'T orgasm from vaginal sex. My biggest reason for "faking it" was because some men like to prove they are Superman and go on and on and on and... After just so many powerful orgasms I could feel like just melting into a puddle but not HIM! So, after long enough I could 'fake' a really powerful one just to make him finally get to THE END! Sometimes a long session is fun and great but it's just not necessary every.single.time. And especially if you are having sex really often.
Nonsense. I apologize for being graphic but men squirt or dribble as evidenced by the wet patch on the sheets but a woman doesn't do that although her natural excess lubrication can certainly add to the mix.
I've stayed out of this convo till now but I had a totally different reason for 'faking it'. Not to make a man feel good or to, basically, 'lie' about orgasms. For one thing I think I must be one very lucky woman because I have never had a problem with orgasms, including vaginal, and I was downright shocked to learn that many women DON'T orgasm from vaginal sex. My biggest reason for "faking it" was because some men like to prove they are Superman and go on and on and on and... After just so many powerful orgasms I could feel like just melting into a puddle but not HIM! So, after long enough I could 'fake' a really powerful one just to make him finally get to THE END! Sometimes a long session is fun and great but it's just not necessary every.single.time. And especially if you are having sex really often.
Thats cool..but from my perspective it would be better and more effective to just be up front with one's partner...if he's carrying on too long, then I think that should be clearly and forwardly stated...I see what you're saying, but in that instance, I think it is incumbent on one partner to exercise candor rather than sparing feelings.. Partially because, if one is in a monogamous relationship, hypersexuality, and hyper active sex drive will eventually become an issue anyway if the other partner's sex drive or sexual appetite isnt compatible.
In the event that the relationship isnt monogamous, then I would think that a partner's feelings wouldnt matter anyway, and a simple "Stop" should do the trick.
Last edited by solytaire; 02-18-2010 at 11:57 AM..
Inconsequential ... what a sad outlook! I have a rather different view of it. I believe that the induced sense of intimacy (trust, contentment, etc.) resulting from climax helps bind a woman emotionally to a man, which is very good for long-term mating. In evolutionary terms, orgasms are very useful, perhaps not for procreation, but for pair-bonding. I think it's pretty evident, too, when a couple's sex life goes downhill and the marriage or relationship falls apart afterward, because sometimes sex is the only thing that is holding them together. And if a man--yes, maybe one of the infamous bad boys--gives a woman a really great orgasm, next thing you know she looooooooooooooooooves him. It's not real. I think the more "sexually liberated" a woman is, the more easily she will find a great lover who is a bad mate. I don't know if the sexually liberated women are the ones who usually fake orgasms ... I can't really picture why an anorgasmic woman would go through the trouble.
I do think the woman's orgasm has been deemed inconsequential for centuries now...and many womens rights advocates that Ive read of, agree with me in that respect. Medical science has dismissed the importance of the female orgasm and the importance of female pleasure for the better part of this nation's history because it isnt required for conception, which has always been viewed as the more worthwhile objective of sex. Only recently have studies begun being conducted that seek to provide understanding of the female orgasm, and female sexual pleasure.
I wasnt stating that sexually liberated women, specifically, are the one's who fake their orgasm...Im saying that women in the aggregate are more sexually liberated than ever, yet they lack a great deal of responsibility and some still even lack an understanding of their body's own sexual function. I think that as research continues into women's sexual pleasure, more products like Zestra and the like will come to the fore to allow women to take responsibility for their own pleasure, much like Viagra has for men.
Im saying that women in the aggregate are more sexually liberated than ever, yet they lack a great deal of responsibility and some still even lack an understanding of their body's own sexual function. I think that as research continues into women's sexual pleasure, more products like Zestra and the like will come to the fore to allow women to take responsibility for their own pleasure, much like Viagra has for men.
Okay, I can agree with that to an extent. I don't know what Zestra is but can guess from the context. It sounds like diet salad dressing, though.
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