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Old 02-15-2010, 08:18 AM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 88,429,128 times
Reputation: 22814

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Quote:
Originally Posted by cuinlalaland View Post
Just yours sierra
OK, you have my blessings to make up any girl you don’t particularly like as pretty as you wish in your head!
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Old 02-15-2010, 10:40 AM
 
8,518 posts, read 15,693,861 times
Reputation: 7714
I think it's entirely possible for a person to become more attractive to you over time. First off, you become used to them and familiarity often makes a person more attractive. Second, if they have a great personality, that can also make them more attractive. Likewise, if they have a lousy personality, they can become less attractive even though their looks haven't changed. The trick is to not take too long to realize how attractive someone is. I had a family friend that I hardly ever noticed. Then when I got older, I saw her again and started talking to her more and I finally realized, "wow, how come I never noticed how cute she is?" By then, it was too late though. She had already met someone else. This is why I don't believe in the whole first impressions rule. Be careful who you dismiss today. You might regret it tomorrow.
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Old 02-15-2010, 11:24 AM
 
Location: Land of Free Johnson-Weld-2016
6,470 posts, read 16,489,466 times
Reputation: 6523
Quote:
Originally Posted by Urban Sasquatch View Post
...


However, on the flip-side...

I learned over the years that while looks aren't so important, what's inside is. The downside to that is while I married and my wife looked just fine to me, as the marriage has deteriorated and I've learned who she really is her touch has grown abhorrent to me.

On Facebook she recently tagged me in a picture of the two of us together and upon seeing the pic I removed the tag linking my name because I didn't want anyone who knew me from childhood seeing me married to that.
...
I have learned the meaning of the word "vitriol."
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Old 02-15-2010, 01:18 PM
 
Location: North America
1,089 posts, read 2,405,310 times
Reputation: 1099
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
OK, you have my blessings to make up any girl you don’t particularly like as pretty as you wish in your head!
Wait, slow down...that sentence confused me!
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Old 02-15-2010, 01:24 PM
 
11,864 posts, read 17,069,024 times
Reputation: 20090
Quote:
Originally Posted by Urban Sasquatch View Post
I learned over the years that while looks aren't so important, what's inside is. The downside to that is while I married and my wife looked just fine to me, as the marriage has deteriorated and I've learned who she really is her touch has grown abhorrent to me.

On Facebook she recently tagged me in a picture of the two of us together and upon seeing the pic I removed the tag linking my name because I didn't want anyone who knew me from childhood seeing me married to that.

In short, what was fine when we married became ugly as her TRUE personality, bit by odious bit, came through to me.


It works both ways.

Wow, you just got ugly.
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Old 02-15-2010, 01:54 PM
 
Location: Corydon, IN
3,688 posts, read 5,034,079 times
Reputation: 7593
Quote:
Originally Posted by kinkytoes View Post
I have learned the meaning of the word "vitriol."

I did not say I'm proud of it nor that I like it in any fashion. Overall I'm VERY unhappy with the person I've become during my time married to this person.
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Old 02-15-2010, 01:57 PM
 
Location: Corydon, IN
3,688 posts, read 5,034,079 times
Reputation: 7593
Quote:
Originally Posted by spinx View Post
Wow, you just got ugly.

That may well be. Ref my response above to toes: I am NOT happy with the person I've become in response to her actions and attitude during the course of this marriage. I find myself saying and doing things I once vowed I'd NEVER be the kind of person to say or do.

It's very easy to believe one thing from an outside perspective, quite another to live it.


I find it odd, however, that the pleasant, happy stories of how a woman became "beautiful" are acceptable, while stories of how a person, any person, became ugly, are not when the two are merely opposite sides of the same coin.

An old poem to consider:

"Mistress Polly Wittenhouse
Lived on Whetstone Alley,
And she was like an angel
To little orphan Sally,
And she was like a harlot
To the lass across the way,
A 'good-un' to the slavey
Who made her bed each day.
And she was like a siren
With the devil in her eye
To any roving sailor man
As he was passing by.

"So Mistress Polly Wittenhouse
Was either good or bad,
According to the need or greed
Each of her judges had,
According as her living
Threw a shadow on their own.
The sailors flung her kisses
And the lass she cast a stone.
And Sally and the slavey
They prayed for her each night,
And all of them that judged her
Knew that they judged her right."
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Old 02-15-2010, 01:59 PM
 
Location: My Private Island
4,941 posts, read 8,354,233 times
Reputation: 12284
Quote:
Originally Posted by Urban Sasquatch View Post
I did not say I'm proud of it nor that I like it in any fashion. Overall I'm VERY unhappy with the person I've become during my time married to this person.
I'm sorry to hear you spend your days so miserable. I know you have a young child to consider but how many more years are you willing to be miserable and unhappy for the sake of the child? I would hate to think you are putting your happiness on hold when life is so short.
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Old 02-15-2010, 02:08 PM
 
Location: Corydon, IN
3,688 posts, read 5,034,079 times
Reputation: 7593
Quote:
Originally Posted by seeniorita View Post
I'm sorry to hear you spend your days so miserable. I know you have a young child to consider but how many more years are you willing to be miserable and unhappy for the sake of the child? I would hate to think you are putting your happiness on hold when life is so short.

With all due consideration, my boy IS my happiness these days, and there's NO end to how much garbage I'm willing to endure for the sake of his well-being. Leaving him is not an option and leaving him TO those people is not an option. Thus, I can tread water and/or hold my breath for a VERY long time.
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Old 02-15-2010, 02:16 PM
 
Location: My Private Island
4,941 posts, read 8,354,233 times
Reputation: 12284
Quote:
Originally Posted by Urban Sasquatch View Post
With all due consideration, my boy IS my happiness these days, and there's NO end to how much garbage I'm willing to endure for the sake of his well-being. Leaving him is not an option and leaving him TO those people is not an option. Thus, I can tread water and/or hold my breath for a VERY long time.
Are you yelling at me? j/k I understand. Like I said...sorry to hear you are going through such a mess. A person's behavior can easily overshadow looks as well as feelings towards them. Best of luck to you my friend!

Last edited by seeniorita; 02-15-2010 at 02:24 PM..
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