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I posted a few minutes ago, but now I've finished reading the thread up to this point. I'd like to add that in addition to his bad temper, he sounds very jealous and controlling. Maybe he's in a rush to get married because he doesn't trust you/is jealous. Ohhh, it all adds up to be a very bad mix of personality traits.
Like I said, if they aren't willing to 'woo you' before you get married, then forget it once you do.
He could wind up being abusive or worse.
I know this is disappointing and frustrating. We all want to find 'the one' and not have 'romance' worries. But you really know the truth, simply read what others have said, digest it.
You are worth more than this. I anticipate a lonely life if you stay in this relationship. He travels a lot for work. Can he be trusted?
Ha - nope. All it took was the one lie he told me about my ring for my trust to thin - he put on quite the production to lead me to believe his BS. Once I saw that, I knew he was capable of lying about other important things. Such as, other women when he travels. I am not quite that stupid. See, he always made it SUCH a point how faithful he is and would go straight back to the hotel after dinner so he would "not be in a position of temptation" when traveling and he would talk to me on the phone until he was falling asleep. A secure, faithful man does NOT need to keep saying, "look at me, look at me and how good I'm being!" I figure if he has to be uneasy about "temptation" - there HAS to be a reason why.
If he has trouble trusting HIS OWN SELF. . . well, why should I?
that's it jeepgirl! anyone who is faithful doesn't need to convince themselves and everyone of it.
and to keep from temptation he had to go to the room and lock himself in it?....oh please..
yeah, good thing you stopped it before you had a wedding..but you live and learn.....and someday someone decent will come along.
Ha - nope. All it took was the one lie he told me about my ring for my trust to thin - he put on quite the production to lead me to believe his BS. Once I saw that, I knew he was capable of lying about other important things. Such as, other women when he travels. I am not quite that stupid. See, he always made it SUCH a point how faithful he is and would go straight back to the hotel after dinner so he would "not be in a position of temptation" when traveling and he would talk to me on the phone until he was falling asleep. A secure, faithful man does NOT need to keep saying, "look at me, look at me and how good I'm being!" I figure if he has to be uneasy about "temptation" - there HAS to be a reason why.
If he has trouble trusting HIS OWN SELF. . . well, why should I?
Right-o??
I can definitely relate to this (bolded). You made the right decision, but most importantly, you listened to your intuition and that, I believe, should always be your indicator of right and wrong.
Good for you. I admire your strength and ability to do what's necessary, even though it wasn't the easy way out.
I posted a few minutes ago, but now I've finished reading the thread up to this point. I'd like to add that in addition to his bad temper, he sounds very jealous and controlling. Maybe he's in a rush to get married because he doesn't trust you/is jealous. Ohhh, it all adds up to be a very bad mix of personality traits.
Yes. he is the jealous type. Told me that he was never jealous with his ex's, only me, because he did not love them as he loves me. He said the feeling was new to him and that it felt awkward to him - did not quite know how to handle it.
That's what my friend was saying about how he would shower me with gifts, etc when he felt he was losing me. Which he wasn't losing me - somehow in his mind he feared he would. I do not go to clubs and I am not a drinker that hangs in bars. Never gave reasons for him to be jealous.
If he feared so much of losing me - he should have been a little better to me. He was his own worst enemy - not another man.
that's it jeepgirl! anyone who is faithful doesn't need to convince themselves and everyone of it.
and to keep from temptation he had to go to the room and lock himself in it?....oh please..
yeah, good thing you stopped it before you had a wedding..but you live and learn.....and someday someone decent will come along.
Uh huh! Yup-yup!
My ex-husband turned out to be a nasty serial-cheater. All the years, I thought he was 100% faithful. I did not learn of his cheating until the divorce - which he didn't tell me, lol - I found out from the women. Who gave me names of his ex-girlfriends before them.
My ex-husband would always pride himself on how "faithful" he was and how "monogamous" he was. Oh he was just soooo wonderful!
The very first time the Fiance patted himself on the back and said all that to me - staying in his hotel room, etc - my ears PERKED and my head turned to the side like Scooby-Scooby DooooOOooooo.
A FREAK?? I'll take that as a compliment! Thank You Carolina! Actually. I think JeepGirl knows that the old Capt. has had a soft spot in his heart for her for a long time now. She's quite a lady!
That's the weird part, that he would shower you with gifts for leaving him but not for committing and loving him. It's like he doesn't respect you for loving him! I think he knows he's a bad guy underneath it all.
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I'll take that as a compliment! Thank You Carolina!
Actually. I think JeepGirl knows that the old Capt. has had a soft spot in his heart for her for a long time now. She's quite a lady!
