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Oy . Why do men have to make it so complicated? Just approach her and see what happens. You will never know unless you give it a shot. And sure you might get the occasional rejection, but its much better than over analyzing.
It all depends on the woman and it all depends on the man. Some women won't want to be approached at all, some of course are easy but you can't always go by the way they dress and act because often it's just a game. It depends a lot on how a man looks, how much money it looks like he might have. Sense of humor works for some but not everyone can carry off humor well.
Oy . Why do men have to make it so complicated? Just approach her and see what happens. You will never know unless you give it a shot. And sure you might get the occasional rejection, but its much better than over analyzing.
I don't think you are getting it. We make it complicated because it IS complicated, especially for some of us.
When a man gets the occasional rejection, it's fine. He doesn't think much about it and don't have to try any strategies: he just sticks to what he's doing.
But, when a man gets consistent rejection, he will eventually overanalyze things, trying to get answers for his lack of success. And this can take years, as we well know from the many related threads.
So as you can see, it is not so easy as "just approach her". Don't think things are as easy for everybody as they may seem for you.
I don't think you are getting it. We make it complicated because it IS complicated, especially for some of us.
When a man gets the occasional rejection, it's fine. He doesn't think much about it and don't have to try any strategies: he just sticks to what he's doing.
But, when a man gets consistent rejection, he will eventually overanalyze things, trying to get answers for his luck of success. And this can take years, as we well know from the many related threads.
So as you can see, it is not so easy as "just approach her". Don't think things are as easy for everybody as they may seem for you.
Ok, I see your point of view now. In that case I think the one approaching has to be good at reading nonverbal cues. When someone wants to be approached, their body language will show it.
I heard it best when it was explained on Sex and the City. When someone is available - they are like a cab with its light on. So I think being a guy and having any success in picking up women is all about finding the ones that have their light on.
What you say is important Eve. But even if you manage to know which women are available, and approach only those, you could keep getting rejected. Why? She may be displaying the green light while paying attention to the tall guy at the corner. But, when another man approaches her and he's not what she expected, the light suddenly changes color. Some will even lie and say they have boyfriends when they don't. I have seen that happen many times.
Actually this whole thing of techniques and all that is just us, the men who have no success, trying to figure out what happens. Men who have no problem with women just do everything without thinking about it: naturally, which is the way dating should happen. But not everybody is that lucky...
What you say is important Eve. But even if you manage to know which women are available, and approach only those, you could keep getting rejected. Why? She may be displaying the green light while paying attention to the tall guy at the corner. But, when another man approaches her and he's not what she expected, the light suddenly changes color. Some will even lie and say they have boyfriends when they don't. I have seen that happen many times.
Very true. You have me thinking now of my own behavior. Usually when I am receptive to a guy its because I've already noticed him and I've been wanting him to approach me. So I think if you're a guy, and you want to get girls, you kind of have to do the same things girls do in a way. You have to be noticeable. That doesn't mean you dress up all flashy, but you need to have confidence, be sexy, be a little aloof, have that ruggedness about you. And if you notice a girl, noticing you, well then that give you permission to make your move .
Some guys do a test to see how I will react to them approaching me. For example, some guys will purposely bump into me! If I'm interested in the guy, I will smile and laugh it off. So you could always try that approach - walk by her see if she notices you. If she doesn't, it could be because she's not interested, or she has a boyfriend or something.
Try to see it as something fun. I'm getting the sense of how frustrating it can be, but don't let it get to you. And remember, being in shape, dressing nicely matters as well.
Thanks Eve! I think you are giving some useful, no-nonsense advice.
There is something so right to the point in your post: You commonly expect the move from the guy you have noticed. To be noticed you have to stand out in some way. The bad part about that is, if there are already 1 or 2 guys in the room that stand out for something (tall/talkative/whatever), it's very hard for you to be noticed.
However, if I see you on the street I will try bumping you!
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. Why do men have to make it so complicated? Just approach her and see what happens. You will never know unless you give it a shot. And sure you might get the occasional rejection, but its much better than over analyzing.
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