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Nah I completely disagree with that. Most women I know are ARE looking for someone "low-maintenance and cool". NO one I know wants a guy that is a workaholic, driven by success in his work, and passionate...about working.
Passionate about SOMETHING...yes. Passionate about me, yes. Being "passionate" is a requirement for me...but I sure don't consider that and "driven" to be even close. I don't want a "driven" man. A "passionate" man, however, is exactly what I want.
you say you disagree with me, but let's be fair - you had to put words in my mouth to get there.
i never stated that women desire a man passionate about his work, or driven by success in his work. i didn't use the word "work," and i don't even know what "workahol" is. i said women desire a man who is driven, passionate, and financially successful. he could be driven by self-expression or intellectual curiousity, passionate about charity, and financially successful due to inheritance or lottery winnings.
As someone who would describe himself as laid-back, I frankly don't care if it turns some people off. I'd rather they accept me as me than pretend to be something I'm not. If they're the type who'd rather make assumptions about me all because of one word instead of daring to dig a little deeper, that tells me a lot about them. I'm sure there are women who will read "laid back" and think "boring". But the opposite of that isn't always a good thing either. Some people are really passionate and driven to the point where they get bored easily, including with people. Personally, when I see the term laid-back, the first thing I think is the person doesn't get worked up over little things, which is probably a good quality.
Personally, when I see the term laid-back, the first thing I think is the person doesn't get worked up over little things, which is probably a good quality.
This IS a good quality (btw, Coolhand’s definition is very precise), but I can assure you many guys online use the term "laid-back" to describe quite a different personality. You can tell by the grammar and spelling and the context in most cases. I say "most" because I excluded the small number of hot-air balloons who are capable of fooling you for a while.
Why do so many men attach the term "laid-back" to themselves? I'm not saying this to bash, really, but guys seem to think this is what they are/what we want.
For one, I know it is supposed to mean relaxed, easy going, nice, fun, etc. but for the most part I have found guys who label themselves as such fall into three categories:
1. Not laid-back at all - antsy, twitchy, socially immature.
2. Code for stoner
3. So laid-back they really don't give a %&#$ about anything or anyone, except their own desires.
I have found the "laid-back" label to be the kiss of death if I'm interested - I don't want a guy who is laid-back - I want guy who is passionate, vivacious, intellectually stimulating, and has some sort of drive to move toward goals he has made for himself!
I'm wondering if this is yet another case of man-speak vs woman-speak
Funny, go read personal ads that women post, they say the same thing.
Laid back is all in the way you carry yourself and deal with life's day to day quibbles. You take things in stride, don't over think or obsess over every minor obstacle and turn everything into a crisis.
This ^^
.... IMO being laid back is a great quality, that allows you to expend your energy on important things, instead of getting all bent out of shape over minutia.
I'm easy going, but can also be intense. I used to confuse this with laid back. Laid back to me, means lazy and no ambition. Easy going is more the proper term. Easy going means you can let a few insults roll off you without getting worked up and don't stress over petty stuff. A good quality in my humble opinion.
Yes, I agree, I picture some long haired dude smoking a peace pipe who describes himself as being "laid back."
I can actually see which posters on C-D are laid-back and which are not.
If a laid-back member's opinion gets confronted, he or she more likely to respond, "well, I disagree, but I see your point too" and this person is more likely to move on and not consider to press the issue for everyone to see his or her opinion.
Like Hawk or Capt.Dan comes to mind.
That shows that I'm not a laid-back person at all. It takes a lot for me to just "shrug" and say, whatever, that's your opinion and that's mine.
I can actually see which posters on C-D are laid-back and which are not.
If a laid-back member's opinion gets confronted, he or she more likely to respond, "well, I disagree, but I see your point too" and this person is more likely to move on and not consider to press the issue for everyone to see his or her opinion.
Like Hawk or Capt.Dan comes to mind.
That shows that I'm not a laid-back person at all. It takes a lot for me to just "shrug" and say, whatever, that's your opinion and that's mine.
If a laid-back member's opinion gets confronted, he or she more likely to respond, "well, I disagree, but I see your point too" and this person is more likely to move on and not consider to press the issue for everyone to see his or her opinion.
i consider ^that intellectual laziness.
in my mind, laid back refers to a dearth of strong emotions, which is why i say it is the opposite of passion.
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Being "passionate" is a requirement for me...but I sure don't consider that and "driven" to be even close. I don't want a "driven" man. A "passionate" man, however, is exactly what I want. 
