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You do not like women, and it sounds like you don't like yourself very much either. I don't go around insulting men, not even men I am not interested in. Who does? Please, don't talk to women. Save us from any of your hate. From what I read here I don't think you have to worry about too many women talking to you either.
So, my refusal to sexual harass women at bars and other social settings makes me a "woman hater" as does defending myself when a woman I do not know comes up to me at a bar and starts asking me random questions? Okay...
So, my refusal to sexual harass women at bars and other social settings makes me a "woman hater" as does defending myself when a woman I do not know comes up to me at a bar and starts asking me random questions? Okay...
Hi victorianpunk,
I think it is because some people perceive your reticence does not contain elemental gold. Its silent contempt. By going to social places and taciturnly raking into them by making a peep towards you is simply baiting people into your little game.
People who go to bars to be alone have no excuse. Those people who attempt the ridiculous defense that you simply want a passive presence of people but would never deign to speak with them are leeches. What is your inherent right to the back ground they create when they are there to socialize without irascible anti-socials throwing up the chaff. Go to the library and/or drink alone at home.
I think it is because some people perceive your reticence does not contain elemental gold. Its silent contempt. By going to social places and taciturnly raking into them by making a peep towards you is simply baiting people into your little game.
People who go to bars to be alone have no excuse. Those people who attempt the ridiculous defense that you simply want a passive presence of people but would never deign to speak with them are leeches. What is your inherent right to the back ground they create when they are there to socialize without irascible anti-socials throwing up the chaff. Go to the library and/or drink alone at home.
If a fellow sits in the corner, away from everyone with his tie loosened around his neck looking down at the counter with a "I hate the world" look on his face, why the heck would one bother him?
BTW, that was my "what a stressful day at work" drink, not a "go out and socialize" drink. I do the former every now and again and never do the latter.
If a fellow sits in the corner, away from everyone with his tie loosened around his neck looking down at the counter with a "I hate the world" look on his face, why the heck would one bother him?
Hi victorianpunk,
Cheer them up perhaps?
Quote:
BTW, that was my "what a stressful day at work" drink, not a "go out and socialize" drink. I do the former every now and again and never do the latter.
I remember a post from a guy who said a woman once approached him in a bar, and he insulted her and angrily told her to leave him alone.
Its funny you mention this, I saw this while working setting up a computer in a college lab, there was this weird kid there, and this attractive girl was working at the station next to him. I wasn't really paying attention since I was busy, but she must have asked him something, and all I heard were a couple loud curse words from the guy and he ran out of the room! The girl had a look of shock, but I stayed out of it and focused on what I was doing since it was none of my business. I'm a tech not a cop so there was nothing I could do. When I left the room I burst out laughing though, It was one of the most funniest things I've ever seen in my life. I thought that kind of stuff only existed in the movies. The kid had a reputation of being uneasy around women apparently and I heard of a story where a girl took advantage of that for laughs some time before, but thats a different story. I wasn't there for that one but it was pretty funny too.
But seriously victorianpunk your values are kinda warped. Calling a girl fat and telling her to go to hell isn't very respectful. I can understand if she was playing bar games but if she's asking where you live, then you shouldn't be mean or nasty. And don't think just because a woman talks to you she's flirting with you or wants anything to do with you. She could have been asking you for directions or something. I understand being nervous around certain women but you still got to talk to them, you can't go through life being scared of 50% of the worlds population LOL.
As humorous as it is, cursing out random strangers in bars is never a good idea either, you don't know them so you don't know how they'd react. What if she was on the verge of suicide and your comment drove her over the edge, or she could have a huge boyfriend who would clobber your ass and he'd be in the right since you were being nasty for no reason. If had a GF that you talked to like that, I'd start swinging at you, nothing personal.
I saw "The 40 Year old Virgin" in the theatres when it came out, and I remember at one point Steve Carrol's character, the forty year old virgin, says "hey, I respect women! I respect them so much, I don't even talk to them!" and people in the theatre laughed....but I didn't, because that is how I always felt.
I am sorry, but I am one man who feels that the best way for a man to respect women is just to please, LEAVE THEM ALONE. I do not talk to woman socially, do not go to bars and go up to some woman who I do not know (the nerve of some guys) and do not bother them. I figure that they just want to be left alone. How is that not good wisdom, especially if you, like me, are not an attractive man (short, bad skin, out of shape etc) and know, honestly, that no woman wants to be bothered by the likes of you?
I for one am of the opinion that the best way to show one's respect for women is to leave them alone. That is the philosophy I have followed my whole life and I have never angered any women or made any woman uncomfortable in my entire life as a result. I would say that that qualifies me as a "good man".
EDIT: I do not mean "never, under any circumstances" talk to women, but what I mean is in the social, flirty way. If the cashier at the bank is a female than of course I will talk to her or a female co-worker. However, when it comes to females, it is best to leave it at business and nothing more.
No one is too "ugly" to talk to women. The idea that you are too undesirable for a woman is a lie.
I have quite a few women who seem to like to be around me, I even get approached, (not necessarily romantically) and a lot of them initiate conversation.
If you saw me, you wouldn't even think about that being a possibility. I am no Denzel, or Brad Pitt in looks and my body language suffers horribly, not to mention I can't keep eye contact due to the constant feeling that I am offending them.
But I know what you mean. I'm sort of the same way. I wouldn't go out of my way to talk to women for a lot of reasons.
1. I respect their space, because I know how it feels to have people impose on your time and space. Plus a lot of these women are often weary from all the desperate "lonely" guys who just have to have someone to be around. (Some of them even turned to other men. I can't count how many times other men started coming on to me)
2. Sometimes I don't want to be bothered. I try to have time to myself to clear my mind and make sense of my life. (Sense I have poor body image I get thrown off when someone tries to talk to me.)
I personally believe that there is nothing wrong with talking to women. How else are you going to meet them. But you have to get your life right and your insecurities down to a managable level before you can talk to anyone.
C'mon now, do people here REALLY believe this "person" is legit.
It's probably a bunch of drunk college students posting ridiculous comments on forums like this to get a rise out of people. You know, the famous "T" word that starts with T and ends with L.
I've actually seen similiar posts on other forums. People just can't seem to resist responding to them. I guess I'm just as bad as everyone else though because I'm here too.
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