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I agree with you, but I've always played this approach and it's not getting me anywhere. I know the reasoning behind it is so that you don't get emotionally invested thus setting yourself up for heartbreak.
However, I'm realistic, and I'm willing to eff with this situation a little just to see what happens. If she doesn't call me back in a couple days then maybe I will shoot her a text and be on the level. Somewhere along the lines of "hey I really enjoyed meeting you, are you up for getting together again. If not just let me know and I'll understand."
like someone else said I have nothing to lose, including my pride. My pride is too well protected at this stage in my life, I'll be ok.
nothing to do with emotional investment. if she knows you called calling a 2nd time wont do anything besides make you look bad. if for some odd reason she is going to come around in a few days shes more likely to do it if you just casually left one message and stopped contacting her.
He specifically said, "Can I call you this weekend," not "Can I call you"? He gave her a time frame. By waiting until it was almost over, yes that says "I put you off until the last minute" If he had just said "can I call you" and waited until Sunday afternoon, no big.
I agree with you, but I've always played this approach and it's not getting me anywhere. I know the reasoning behind it is so that you don't get emotionally invested thus setting yourself up for heartbreak.
However, I'm realistic, and I'm willing to eff with this situation a little just to see what happens. If she doesn't call me back in a couple days then maybe I will shoot her a text and be on the level. Somewhere along the lines of "hey I really enjoyed meeting you, are you up for getting together again. If not just let me know and I'll understand."
like someone else said I have nothing to lose, including my pride. My pride is too well protected at this stage in my life, I'll be ok.
Try to avoid asking questions that have a negative in them.
In other words, wait a while, couple of days, maybe even another week, and then say "hey I am doing XYZ on Saturday, if you'd like to come along it would be great to have you".
All this stuff "hi, I really hope you enjoyed our date together, would you like to go out again, if you don't I understand, blah, blah,", that just projects weakness, lack of direction and usually when people are offered an out they take it.
By taking the approach I do it works much better. Makes it clear I am sitting around waiting for them to make up their mind. I got a life to live, I'm busy, don't have time to fart around.
Usually I find the pushy approach just doesn't work by bombarding them with calls and texts and all that. Stupid. Don't waste your time. When you are pushy and oversell, people push back. It's the natural response.
I used to make the same mistakes you did ALL the time, until I finally got it. Took me a while, but I finally did.
He specifically said, "Can I call you this weekend," not "Can I call you"? He gave her a time frame. By waiting until it was almost over, yes that says "I put you off until the last minute" If he had just said "can I call you" and waited until Sunday afternoon, no big.
See the difference?
no, i dont see the difference. sunday afternoon wouldnt be last minute
Try to avoid asking questions that have a negative in them.
In other words, wait a while, couple of days, maybe even another week, and then say "hey I am doing XYZ on Saturday, if you'd like to come along it would be great to have you".
All this stuff "hi, I really hope you enjoyed our date together, would you like to go out again, if you don't I understand, blah, blah,", that just projects weakness, lack of direction and usually when people are offered an out they take it.
By taking the approach I do it works much better. Makes it clear I am sitting around waiting for them to make up their mind. I got a life to live, I'm busy, don't have time to fart around.
Usually I find the pushy approach just doesn't work by bombarding them with calls and texts and all that. Stupid. Don't waste your time. When you are pushy and oversell, people push back. It's the natural response.
I used to make the same mistakes you did ALL the time, until I finally got it. Took me a while, but I finally did.
Try to avoid asking questions that have a negative in them.
In other words, wait a while, couple of days, maybe even another week, and then say "hey I am doing XYZ on Saturday, if you'd like to come along it would be great to have you".
All this stuff "hi, I really hope you enjoyed our date together, would you like to go out again, if you don't I understand, blah, blah,", that just projects weakness, lack of direction and usually when people are offered an out they take it.
By taking the approach I do it works much better. Makes it clear I am sitting around waiting for them to make up their mind. I got a life to live, I'm busy, don't have time to fart around.
Usually I find the pushy approach just doesn't work by bombarding them with calls and texts and all that. Stupid. Don't waste your time. When you are pushy and oversell, people push back. It's the natural response.
I used to make the same mistakes you did ALL the time, until I finally got it. Took me a while, but I finally did.
Good response. I agree, I learned from them as well and naturally I would never call this girl again if she didn't respond. But I'm curious to just mess with this for scientific reasons.
I'll probably try the shoot her a text next weekend thing saying I'm doing something and see if she'd like to go.
He specifically said, "Can I call you this weekend," not "Can I call you"? He gave her a time frame. By waiting until it was almost over, yes that says "I put you off until the last minute" If he had just said "can I call you" and waited until Sunday afternoon, no big.
See the difference?
Again why even promise to call anyways! I don't need permission from the princess to call!
Just call. When you want. It can be a day later, a week later, whatever.
Or don't call.
In any case when a date ends you DO NOT need to schedule your next contact. Leave that hanging.
Again why even promise to call anyways! I don't need permission from the princess to call!
Just call. When you want. It can be a day later, a week later, whatever.
Or don't call.
In any case when a date ends you DO NOT need to schedule your next contact. Leave that hanging.
It's not about permission, it's about consideration, showing genuine interest and not game playing. A woman is suppose to sit around and wait for a man to decide she's important enough to call?
Sorry, Charlie. You give me the impression I'm not important to you, we're done.
Good response. I agree, I learned from them as well and naturally I would never call this girl again if she didn't respond. But I'm curious to just mess with this for scientific reasons.
I'll probably try the shoot her a text next weekend thing saying I'm doing something and see if she'd like to go.
Texting is an impersonal thing I believe and another way to for people to take an easy out.
You know it might be this gal isn't interested. It might be she is. We don't yet.
The way I think to go about is to let it rest for a while and then call up and say "hey I am doing XYZ saturday afternoon and then I am going to XYZ for an early dinner, if you'd like to come along it'd be great to have you".
That sets a deadline because you ARE doing something saturday afternoon, with her or without her. If you don't hear back, move on and that is that.
One mistake we can make it thinking about it too much and over analyzing. Wouldn't invest much time in it.
I am a female, and my feeling is that you should call her again - this evening. I understand what it's like to be super-busy, and sometimes preoccupied with all of my commitments. After just one date, the guy might not be at the top of my priority list - yet. But given the opportunity for a second date - maybe! I don't see it as playing games. It almost seems like a bit of role reversal to me. Often it's the girl who overthinks things after a first meeting; not the guy. It's possible your call simply slipped her mind because she had a very busy weekend. Give her a call this evening and see. It can't hurt, and she may be apologetic and very grateful that you called again. Good luck!
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