Non-addicts: Would you date a recovering addict? (married, men, cheating)
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If it's someone who quietly goes about their business in life and don't bring their addiction into every conversation, then sure.
On the other hand, there are the ones who not only talk about their addiction non-stop, but because they were drunks, they think anybody else who enjoy one beer at night must be a drunk, too.
Here's an example. "You're going to France? Wow that's great. I'd love to visit France. But probably not a good idea, because they serve wine everywhere and I used to be an alcoholic. You know, I really struggled with my addiction for years and years. Wow, you're going to order wine with dinner? Are you sure, because you might be an alcoholic, too? Oh, you only have one glass a night? Well, you're probably an alcoholic and don't even realize it. I really think you should check out this program, blah blah blah blahbity blah blah blah......"
This conversation usually ends badly, because you wind up telling the other person to kindly change the subject. Oh, and the very worst are the ones who then drag pop psychology into every conversation as if they were freaking parrots, parsing every sentence and never realizing for a minute that they are being incredibly rude. Not only are they obnoxious, but they're arrogant, too. I mean, just because one person couldn't handle the bottle doesn't give them the right to harangue the vast majority of people who can. But because they've screwed up their own lives, they view everybody else's through a seriously distorted prism.
What would you think of a person who used to have a drug problem (something scary like cocaine, heroin, crystal meth etc) and they haven't used in over 10 years. Should they even bother to tell you, does it even matter at that point?
I don't think anyone who responded stated they had no issues.
Addiction is a powerful force and it's easy to get sucked into the vortex of an addict's world which can have very negative effects depending which drug/s they imbibe.
I personally didn't want to spend my evenings in an Al-Anon meeting trying to deal with the sh** I was having to put up with.
What would you think of a person who used to have a drug problem (something scary like cocaine, heroin, crystal meth etc) and they haven't used in over 10 years. Should they even bother to tell you, does it even matter at that point?
Depends on what part of the relationship you're in. If things are getting down to brass tacks, then you have a duty to address this. But, on the Secret Shame Scale, being addicted to blow isn't exactly the same thing as human trafficking or liking child pornography. If you've dealt with it for 10 years, that just proves that you have had sufficient strength of character to prevail. Who would penalize you for that?
What would you think of a person who used to have a drug problem (something scary like cocaine, heroin, crystal meth etc) and they haven't used in over 10 years. Should they even bother to tell you, does it even matter at that point?
They may not feel inclined to tell you about their past addiction but if you were addicted to say, heroin, you may be more likely to get addicted to say, Oxycontin, Percocet, Vicodin. And prescription drug addiction is a huge problem in the US.
I don't think anyone who responded stated they had no issues.
Addiction is a powerful force and it's easy to get sucked into the vortex of an addict's world which can have very negative effects depending which drug/s they imbibe.
I personally didn't want to spend my evenings in an Al-Anon meeting trying to deal with the sh** I was having to put up with.
And don't they say that an addict is always an addict, even if he or she isn't using? I've known people with drinking or drug problems who quit those, but then start smoking like chimneys or guzzling coffee or gambling or bidding on ebay. The addictive behavior is still there, they've just transferred it to something else.
And don't they say that an addict is always an addict, even if he or she isn't using? I've known people with drinking or drug problems who quit those, but then start smoking like chimneys or guzzling coffee or gambling or bidding on ebay. The addictive behavior is still there, they've just transferred it to something else.
Yep. It's like they have to do everything to excess. One of my wife's family is an alcoholic. So once she licked that, she moved on to exercise. So now she works out 2-3 times a day. She's in great shape, but the kids are neglected, the house is always a wreck, and her husband would like for his wife to be home maybe a few hours at a time.
What would you think of a person who used to have a drug problem and they haven't used in over 10 years. Should they even bother to tell you, does it even matter at that point?
not using their drug of choice means nothing, whether it is 10 or 20 or 30 years that they have not used
what means everything, is whether they are currently working an active program of recovery
if someone "quit on their own" or "stopped cold turkey" they are not in recovery. that's what a "dry drunk" means
Last edited by Tzaphkiel; 03-04-2010 at 03:01 PM..
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