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Have you ever met a sex addict, I mean the real kind, not the I-got-caught-cheating kind? My father was one, and honestly I found his behavior just as erratic as a drug abuser, and far more disgusting. I wouldn't let a sex addict even touch me, make no mistake they are filthy carriers of disease.
I am leery about involving addicts in my life, though I can't say no with absolute certainty because it really depends on the stability of the recovery and their psychological well-being. In my experience, addicts - whether former or current - don't become addicts without prior triggers. They had real issues before their addiction started, which left them vulnerable to addiction.
I need to see some real resolution to the root cause along with the addiction before that person is going to be in my life. Resolution that is backed by considerable time, not words. Until then, I consider that person to be at an in-between state of addiction.
Have you ever met a sex addict, I mean the real kind, not the I-got-caught-cheating kind? My father was one, and honestly I found his behavior just as erratic as a drug abuser, and far more disgusting. I wouldn't let a sex addict even touch me, make no mistake they are filthy carriers of disease.
I married one, I think they are more commonly known as nympho-maniacs. Not that there's anything wrong with that...
All kidding aside, I think there is a distinction between destructive behavior which is an addiction, and healthy obsession...not sure where a nymph falls in, but if a man knows what he's doing in the bedroom it can feed that obsession and at times can almost feel like a curse. Not usually, but sometimes.
With an addiction, someone alters their sense of right and wrong and it becomes dectructive or unhealthy. Again, there is a difference between having a healthy sex drive and an addiction. I think we are too quick to diagnose people as sex addicts in this country. The medical and mental health profession is cashing in big on this one.
I married one, I think they are more commonly known as nympho-maniacs. Not that there's anything wrong with that...
All kidding aside, I think there is a distinction between destructive behavior which is an addiction, and healthy obsession...not sure where a nymph falls in, but if a man knows what he's doing in the bedroom it can feed that obsession and at times can almost feel like a curse. Not usually, but sometimes.
With an addiction, someone alters their sense of right and wrong and it becomes dectructive or unhealthy. Again, there is a difference between having a healthy sex drive and an addiction. I think we are too quick to diagnose people as sex addicts in this country. The medical and mental health profession is cashing in big on this one.
Or any addicts for that matter. Sometimes addiction is just a way to excuse good old-fashioned bad behavior.
I would have to decide based on the facts and the person. I don't think I could be with someone who was a drug addict, but if they had recovered completely maybe. People make mistakes in their lives. If I had known them when they were using, they would not have been in my life at all.
For those of you who have never had a problem with drug or alcohol addiction, would you feel OK about dating someone who had that problem in their history but had been free of it for at least a couple years? How long would they have to be sober before you'd be OK with it, if ever?
If you were able to get involved with a recovering addict/alcoholic, would you constantly worry about them relapsing?
Nope. Been there, done that and it never turned out good. This time around, I was adamant about not dating anyone who had sustance abuse issues in their past...
in my experience, the healthy people are the ones who admit and address their own issues, and have learned tools to do life in a healthy manner
This is one thing I know about my friend. He is so much more honest with himself and aware of his actions because of his past. He thinks before he does, he lives for the day instead of living for the next best thing, he appreciates how far he has come - life is so much more clear to him.
For those of you who have never had a problem with drug or alcohol addiction, would you feel OK about dating someone who had that problem in their history but had been free of it for at least a couple years? How long would they have to be sober before you'd be OK with it, if ever?
If you were able to get involved with a recovering addict/alcoholic, would you constantly worry about them relapsing?
I was once married to an alcholic/drug abuser/compulsive gambler. Now he pretty much just drinks after work and he is functional. Have had friends and family members who are drunks, too, and who were in "recovery", some for a number of years. They either relapsed or are dead.
I have also known one or two people who have been sober for more than 20 years and haven't gone back yet.
However, I've noticed that the personality issues that accompany the addictive types always remain, whether they are active or sober. They usually have difficulty reading other people emotionally and have an inability to empathize with those around them. They often see the world only as relevant to themselves, not from another's POV. You can see this even when serious 12-steppers make their "amends". They apologize, but you can tell that they truly do not understand how or why the other person was affected by their behavior.
I would never date another drunk or druggie, even if they were supposedly in recovery for 50 years. There was obviously something wrong with ME to marry such a person in the first place, but I know better now, and know to avoid them like the plague.
Last edited by Mightyqueen801; 03-05-2010 at 09:46 AM..
Reason: removed extra word
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