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I would like to add that I am an active member of this forum but had to make another ID because I did not want anyone knowing due to confidentiality issues. So mods, if possible please do not delete this. Thank you all.
--------------------------
Hey guys,
I am involved in a situation and thought it would be great to get some feedback. I am Leo. My exes name is Samantha and her best friends name is Michelle.
Basically to make the long story short, I dated Samantha about 7 or 8 years ago for 3 or 4 months. She treated me really badly and in fact didn't even tell me we were broken up. I remember randomly seeing her and she would not even look at me. I had no idea what I did wrong. Anyways, I thought about her and waited for about a year or two. I went to college and partied and I found a new girlfriend and we dated for 2 years. Our relationship did not last but I wish her the best.
So anyways, Samantha contacted me again after 7 or 8 years this summer. I was shocked at first but started to talk to her. It was casual at first but then she told me she had really loved me throughout the years but I distrust her. She told me she never dated anyone else and she told me that she was in love with me. I believe her but...I don't know something was holding me back. We met up a couple months ago and we kissed but felt something was not right. She still introduced me to her family and friends and I met her best friend. And now I am head over heels for this girl.
Michelle is so beautiful, so mature and I can't get her off my mind. I told my ex I wanted to pursue her and she lost it. I told my ex that she needed to go out and meet new people and that I have no issue being her friend but I doubt it would go beyond that.
So I started talking to Michelle casually and we just have awesome conversations. We texted each other all day and I feel like I could talk to her about anything. Even her best friend. I told her about my dreams, goals, worries and she just knew exactly what to say. And our interests are so aligned and she is just so unique. I don't think I will come across a girl like this again. I came to find out that she actually told my ex about everything we talked about but to me, it shows Michelle is a loyal person. She has morals. I want to talk to Michelle more but I am so worried about her losing her best friend because of me. I think my ex probably made her tell her everything but it doesnt matter.
I don't know what to do. I think Michelle considers me a potential boyfriend material but her loyalty to my ex as her best friend gets in the way. I really cannot give this girl up though without knowing for sure what is going on. But I don't want to cause Michelle any grief whatsoever. I know they have been best friends for 4 or 5 years and I doubt my ex would let us be together in peace for while.
It just makes me so confused and angry. When my ex at first thought I liked Michelle, she asked me about it and I said maybe. She then went on and on telling me that Michelle is perfect for me and we would make a good pair. She told me that she could see Michelle liking me too and that we were so alike. Then she goes on to tell me that she doesn't want me talking to her. Like why are you telling me this if you won't let me persu her? She told me the only reason why Michelle was talking to me was to get info out for her but I don't feel that. I am sure she told Samantha things but our convos were so real and deep. I haven't talked to a woman so down to Earth in a while.
My ex is trying to get back with me but I all I can see is her best friend. I told her many times that I am not interested in a relationship with her but she keeps on trying to talk about the past and how sorry she is. I told her it was ok but I would not let her make me a victim again. She needs help. I tell her but she just says she wants me and she will be ok. I told her she is creepy and I just want to be alone for a while. I just don't know what to do. I don't know what she told Michelle about me or if I will ever talk to Michelle. We haven't talked in a week or so and I am controlling myself from texting or calling Michelle.
God, what do I do? I just wanna get to know this girl so badly. I feel like if I don't, I will wonder my entire life but I can't cause her any grief about losing her best friend or anything else.
I would like to add that I am an active member of this forum but had to make another ID because I did not want anyone knowing due to confidentiality issues. So mods, if possible please do not delete this. Thank you all.
--------------------------
Hey guys,
I am involved in a situation and thought it would be great to get some feedback. I am Leo. My exes name is Samantha and her best friends name is Michelle.
Basically to make the long story short, I dated Samantha about 7 or 8 years ago for 3 or 4 months. She treated me really badly and in fact didn't even tell me we were broken up. I remember randomly seeing her and she would not even look at me. I had no idea what I did wrong. Anyways, I thought about her and waited for about a year or two. I went to college and partied and I found a new girlfriend and we dated for 2 years. Our relationship did not last but I wish her the best.
So anyways, Samantha contacted me again after 7 or 8 years this summer. I was shocked at first but started to talk to her. It was casual at first but then she told me she had really loved me throughout the years but I distrust her. She told me she never dated anyone else and she told me that she was in love with me. I believe her but...I don't know something was holding me back. We met up a couple months ago and we kissed but felt something was not right. She still introduced me to her family and friends and I met her best friend. And now I am head over heels for this girl.
Michelle is so beautiful, so mature and I can't get her off my mind. I told my ex I wanted to pursue her and she lost it. I told my ex that she needed to go out and meet new people and that I have no issue being her friend but I doubt it would go beyond that.
So I started talking to Michelle casually and we just have awesome conversations. We texted each other all day and I feel like I could talk to her about anything. Even her best friend. I told her about my dreams, goals, worries and she just knew exactly what to say. And our interests are so aligned and she is just so unique. I don't think I will come across a girl like this again. I came to find out that she actually told my ex about everything we talked about but to me, it shows Michelle is a loyal person. She has morals. I want to talk to Michelle more but I am so worried about her losing her best friend because of me. I think my ex probably made her tell her everything but it doesnt matter.
I don't know what to do. I think Michelle considers me a potential boyfriend material but her loyalty to my ex as her best friend gets in the way. I really cannot give this girl up though without knowing for sure what is going on. But I don't want to cause Michelle any grief whatsoever. I know they have been best friends for 4 or 5 years and I doubt my ex would let us be together in peace for while.
It just makes me so confused and angry. When my ex at first thought I liked Michelle, she asked me about it and I said maybe. She then went on and on telling me that Michelle is perfect for me and we would make a good pair. She told me that she could see Michelle liking me too and that we were so alike. Then she goes on to tell me that she doesn't want me talking to her. Like why are you telling me this if you won't let me persu her? She told me the only reason why Michelle was talking to me was to get info out for her but I don't feel that. I am sure she told Samantha things but our convos were so real and deep. I haven't talked to a woman so down to Earth in a while.
My ex is trying to get back with me but I all I can see is her best friend. I told her many times that I am not interested in a relationship with her but she keeps on trying to talk about the past and how sorry she is. I told her it was ok but I would not let her make me a victim again. She needs help. I tell her but she just says she wants me and she will be ok. I told her she is creepy and I just want to be alone for a while. I just don't know what to do. I don't know what she told Michelle about me or if I will ever talk to Michelle. We haven't talked in a week or so and I am controlling myself from texting or calling Michelle.
God, what do I do? I just wanna get to know this girl so badly. I feel like if I don't, I will wonder my entire life but I can't cause her any grief about losing her best friend or anything else.
What would you all do?
At this point you've done all you can to discourage your ex - just ignore her from here on out.
Contact Michelle. Lay all your cards out on the table (that you are interested in her and would like to pursue a relationship but that you are concerned Sam will sabbotoge things). Get her input and go from there.
This does not have to be nearly so complicated as you are making it out to be
I would like to add that I am an active member of this forum but had to make another ID because I did not want anyone knowing due to confidentiality issues. So mods, if possible please do not delete this. Thank you all.
--------------------------
Hey guys,
I am involved in a situation and thought it would be great to get some feedback. I am Leo. My exes name is Samantha and her best friends name is Michelle.
Basically to make the long story short, I dated Samantha about 7 or 8 years ago for 3 or 4 months. She treated me really badly and in fact didn't even tell me we were broken up. I remember randomly seeing her and she would not even look at me. I had no idea what I did wrong. Anyways, I thought about her and waited for about a year or two. I went to college and partied and I found a new girlfriend and we dated for 2 years. Our relationship did not last but I wish her the best.
So anyways, Samantha contacted me again after 7 or 8 years this summer. I was shocked at first but started to talk to her. It was casual at first but then she told me she had really loved me throughout the years but I distrust her. She told me she never dated anyone else and she told me that she was in love with me. I believe her but...I don't know something was holding me back. We met up a couple months ago and we kissed but felt something was not right. She still introduced me to her family and friends and I met her best friend. And now I am head over heels for this girl.
Michelle is so beautiful, so mature and I can't get her off my mind. I told my ex I wanted to pursue her and she lost it. I told my ex that she needed to go out and meet new people and that I have no issue being her friend but I doubt it would go beyond that.
So I started talking to Michelle casually and we just have awesome conversations. We texted each other all day and I feel like I could talk to her about anything. Even her best friend. I told her about my dreams, goals, worries and she just knew exactly what to say. And our interests are so aligned and she is just so unique. I don't think I will come across a girl like this again. I came to find out that she actually told my ex about everything we talked about but to me, it shows Michelle is a loyal person. She has morals. I want to talk to Michelle more but I am so worried about her losing her best friend because of me. I think my ex probably made her tell her everything but it doesnt matter.
I don't know what to do. I think Michelle considers me a potential boyfriend material but her loyalty to my ex as her best friend gets in the way. I really cannot give this girl up though without knowing for sure what is going on. But I don't want to cause Michelle any grief whatsoever. I know they have been best friends for 4 or 5 years and I doubt my ex would let us be together in peace for while.
It just makes me so confused and angry. When my ex at first thought I liked Michelle, she asked me about it and I said maybe. She then went on and on telling me that Michelle is perfect for me and we would make a good pair. She told me that she could see Michelle liking me too and that we were so alike. Then she goes on to tell me that she doesn't want me talking to her. Like why are you telling me this if you won't let me persu her? She told me the only reason why Michelle was talking to me was to get info out for her but I don't feel that. I am sure she told Samantha things but our convos were so real and deep. I haven't talked to a woman so down to Earth in a while.
My ex is trying to get back with me but I all I can see is her best friend. I told her many times that I am not interested in a relationship with her but she keeps on trying to talk about the past and how sorry she is. I told her it was ok but I would not let her make me a victim again. She needs help. I tell her but she just says she wants me and she will be ok. I told her she is creepy and I just want to be alone for a while. I just don't know what to do. I don't know what she told Michelle about me or if I will ever talk to Michelle. We haven't talked in a week or so and I am controlling myself from texting or calling Michelle.
God, what do I do? I just wanna get to know this girl so badly. I feel like if I don't, I will wonder my entire life but I can't cause her any grief about losing her best friend or anything else.
I would like to add that I am an active member of this forum but had to make another ID because I did not want anyone knowing due to confidentiality issues. So mods, if possible please do not delete this. Thank you all.
--------------------------
Hey guys,
I am involved in a situation and thought it would be great to get some feedback. I am Leo. My exes name is Samantha and her best friends name is Michelle.
Basically to make the long story short, I dated Samantha about 7 or 8 years ago for 3 or 4 months. She treated me really badly and in fact didn't even tell me we were broken up. I remember randomly seeing her and she would not even look at me. I had no idea what I did wrong. Anyways, I thought about her and waited for about a year or two. I went to college and partied and I found a new girlfriend and we dated for 2 years. Our relationship did not last but I wish her the best.
So anyways, Samantha contacted me again after 7 or 8 years this summer. I was shocked at first but started to talk to her. It was casual at first but then she told me she had really loved me throughout the years but I distrust her. She told me she never dated anyone else and she told me that she was in love with me. I believe her but...I don't know something was holding me back. We met up a couple months ago and we kissed but felt something was not right. She still introduced me to her family and friends and I met her best friend. And now I am head over heels for this girl.
Michelle is so beautiful, so mature and I can't get her off my mind. I told my ex I wanted to pursue her and she lost it. I told my ex that she needed to go out and meet new people and that I have no issue being her friend but I doubt it would go beyond that.
So I started talking to Michelle casually and we just have awesome conversations. We texted each other all day and I feel like I could talk to her about anything. Even her best friend. I told her about my dreams, goals, worries and she just knew exactly what to say. And our interests are so aligned and she is just so unique. I don't think I will come across a girl like this again. I came to find out that she actually told my ex about everything we talked about but to me, it shows Michelle is a loyal person. She has morals. I want to talk to Michelle more but I am so worried about her losing her best friend because of me. I think my ex probably made her tell her everything but it doesnt matter.
I don't know what to do. I think Michelle considers me a potential boyfriend material but her loyalty to my ex as her best friend gets in the way. I really cannot give this girl up though without knowing for sure what is going on. But I don't want to cause Michelle any grief whatsoever. I know they have been best friends for 4 or 5 years and I doubt my ex would let us be together in peace for while.
It just makes me so confused and angry. When my ex at first thought I liked Michelle, she asked me about it and I said maybe. She then went on and on telling me that Michelle is perfect for me and we would make a good pair. She told me that she could see Michelle liking me too and that we were so alike. Then she goes on to tell me that she doesn't want me talking to her. Like why are you telling me this if you won't let me persu her? She told me the only reason why Michelle was talking to me was to get info out for her but I don't feel that. I am sure she told Samantha things but our convos were so real and deep. I haven't talked to a woman so down to Earth in a while.
My ex is trying to get back with me but I all I can see is her best friend. I told her many times that I am not interested in a relationship with her but she keeps on trying to talk about the past and how sorry she is. I told her it was ok but I would not let her make me a victim again. She needs help. I tell her but she just says she wants me and she will be ok. I told her she is creepy and I just want to be alone for a while. I just don't know what to do. I don't know what she told Michelle about me or if I will ever talk to Michelle. We haven't talked in a week or so and I am controlling myself from texting or calling Michelle.
God, what do I do? I just wanna get to know this girl so badly. I feel like if I don't, I will wonder my entire life but I can't cause her any grief about losing her best friend or anything else.
What would you all do?
I would go for it, You and Michelle deserve to be happy, the ex shouldnt interfer, she is the past.
And if she loses Samantha as a best friend, then she wasnt a best friend after all
Your not married to Samantha and the relationship wasnt long at all.
Ask Michelle out to dinner.
I wish you the best..
I would go for it, You and Michelle deserve to be happy, the ex shouldnt interfer, she is the past.
And if she loses Samantha as a best friend, then she wasnt a best friend after all
Your not married to Samantha and the relationship wasnt long at all.
Ask Michelle out to dinner.
I wish you the best..
I wonder why she is still coming in the way like this. I don't know. I think my ex is like bipolar. Like why would she tell me and her that we would make such a good couple and then say we cannot date? Agh. I think she does not know what she wants herself. She may want to see me and her best friend happy but her feelings for me get in the way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains
At this point you've done all you can to discourage your ex - just ignore her from here on out.
Contact Michelle. Lay all your cards out on the table (that you are interested in her and would like to pursue a relationship but that you are concerned Sam will sabbotoge things). Get her input and go from there.
This does not have to be nearly so complicated as you are making it out to be
Haha, I sure hope it is not that hard but it feels like it. I don't want to risk getting in the way of them. They are so close and I know my ex is like still in love with me. I don't know what she would do.
I admit I was re considering dating Samantha but when I met Michelle, it just got so different.
I cannot explain it. I care about her deeply.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pkrplr1
when did she victimize you, when you were 10 y/o?
Victim was a strong word. Basically, she treated me like **** and I just don't think I want to go back with her.
The idea that you dated for 3-4 months and then she dropped you and then 7-8 years later says she loves you is *wierd* to me...but that doesn't really matter now does it?
You should communicate what you wrote to us to Michelle.
I would be curious as to Michelles thoughts about your "ex" and how she claims she feels about you all these years later after only having dated for a couple months.
The idea that you dated for 3-4 months and then she dropped you and then 7-8 years later says she loves you is *wierd* to me...but that doesn't really matter now does it?
You should communicate what you wrote to us to Michelle.
I would be curious as to Michelles thoughts about your "ex" and how she claims she feels about you all these years later after only having dated for a couple months.
It is weird but for some reason, I don't doubt it. Even with my convos with Michelle confirm that. She tells me Samantha hasnt forgotten about me. But it makes me wonder why. Like what is going on?
This is all so weird. I loved her a lot back then. My first girlfriend. And I do feel a little but I doubt anything will happen again.
I don't know. I think it is weird too that she seems to be so passionate about me after all this time. I don't know what is going on. All I know is that I have this ex who cares about me and deeply and creepily. And I think I really like her best friend.
[quote=downtownman;17606085]It is weird but for some reason, I don't doubt it. Even with my convos with Michelle confirm that. She tells me Samantha hasnt forgotten about me. But it makes me wonder why. Like what is going on?
This is all so weird. I loved her a lot back then. My first girlfriend. And I do feel a little but I doubt anything will happen again.
I don't know. I think it is weird too that she seems to be so passionate about me after all this time. I don't know what is going on. All I know is that I have this ex who cares about me and deeply and creepily. And I think I really like her best friend.
What would you all do?[/quote]
We've told you what we would do - have a conversation with Michelle and lay it all out on the table
But you are also trying to make sense out of something that doesn't make sense.
Your ex has become fixated on you for whatever reason.
This is not uncommon when one ex sees the other getting attention from someone new. Don't know what it is about us humans, but many times there are things we never even cared about that can suddenly become very important to us when people we respect find something valuable in that thing
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