Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
As I've mentioned, I don't think that's the issue. Nobody has a right to tell anybody who to date and why. It's our business and our business alone. But, making sweeping generalizations in a condescending manner is the issue (for me at least).
I agree about the generalizations, but at the same time I have seen a few posts attacking the steak and potatoes of what she was getting at in terms of her interests in dating and that is more of what I was responding to. I obviously agree it's nobody's right to tell anyone else who to date and why.
It is also wrong to assume that all people want the same things. We can only speak from our own experiences, and what WE want out of a relationship. It's okay for her to want what she wants, it's equally okay for the next person to want something different.
I agree about the generalizations, but at the same time I have seen a few posts attacking the steak and potatoes of what she was getting at in terms of her interests in dating and that is more of what I was responding to. I obviously agree it's nobody's right to tell anyone else who to date and why.
That point is easy enough to argue, imo. I can't understand why anybody would feel they have the right to tell anyone else what to do. It's silly, which is why I'm having a hard time buying into it. There must be something else going on. I'll make a statement right now as an example. In the past I preferred to date scientists. I married a chemistry major. I like that my dh can understand my ramblings when I'm bugging about work, which is too often these days. To most outside my field they simply don't know the language to understand and it would most likely bore them to death. It certainly doesn't mean he's more intelligent than my computer sci, lawyer, business, teaching, artistic, etc friends. We simply have the same interests and that works for us. Those are my preferences. I highly doubt anybody here is going to take issue with these statements.
But, if I said "I only date scientists because they are simply more intelligent than the rest of the college population and are, to a greater degree, on my intellectual level" some would probably take issue with that because it's condenscending and an assinine thing to say. This latter statement is full of boloney because it's really about propping myself up, rather than discussing my preferences and why.
All that coupled with hypocrisy is a recipe to annoy.
That point is easy enough to argue, imo. I can't understand why anybody would feel they have the right to tell anyone else what to do. It's silly, which is why I'm having a hard time buying into it. There must be something else going on. I'll make a statement right now as an example. In the past I preferred to date scientists. I married a chemistry major. I like that my dh can understand my ramblings when I'm bugging about work, which is too often these days. To most outside my field they simply don't know the language to understand and it would most likely bore them to death. It certainly doesn't mean he's more intelligent than my computer sci, lawyer, business, teaching, artistic, etc friends. We simply have the same interests and that works for us. Those are my preferences. I highly doubt anybody here is going to take issue with these statements.
But, if I said "I only date scientists because they are simply more intelligent than the rest of the college population and are, to a greater degree, on my intellectual level" some would probably take issue with that because it's condenscending and an assinine thing to say. This latter statement is full of boloney because it's really about propping myself up, rather than discussing my preferences and why.
All that coupled with hypocrisy is a recipe to annoy.
Perhaps I should be more clear...post #59 really got my goat, because Miu is quoted stating something about herself that can be disagreed with, but also seems perfectly reasonable. Of course low and behold in the response here comes the sarcastic reply with somewhat implied undertones of...your and elitist for having that (IMHO rather reasonable) view.
People have their preferences in relationships and while some of these may seem odd, that is just the way it is. I guess I just do not like it when people state their honest views about something, which may be unPC in the eyes of someone else, and end up being tarred for it. I think that is highly counterproductive and smothers an otherwise potentially good opportunity to discuss something.
I tend to agree with Miu on this, and think it's regrettable that so many people are jumping on her for honestly answering the question. The fact of the matter is that to her, myself and perhaps millions of other Americans academic achievement matters in looking to find someone to date. If it doesn't for you well that's fine, but don't expect that it's not going to/should not matter for everyone else.
I'm with the others; personal preference is not the issue. And there is a history there.
Glad you see the light. I think many women have educational requirements because in this society a degree= more money, as opposed to the knowledge obtained from that degree. I have no education requirements as well, I am also a graduate student and some people think I am crazy for having that view.
There are plenty of grad degrees that don't earn shyt.
I make a lot more money than some people with advanced degrees do.
I don't understand why she cannot grow without them also growing. Why does she need them to do the same as her? I pursue my own interests, I don't require my partner to share them.
Perhaps I should be more clear...post #59 really got my goat, because Miu is quoted stating something about herself that can be disagreed with, seems perfectly reasonable. Of course low and behold in the response here comes the sarcastic reply with somewhat implied undertones of...your and elitist for having that (IMHO rather reasonable) view.
People have their preferences in relationships and while some of these may seem odd, that is just the way it is. I guess I just do not like it when people state their honest views about something, which may be unPC in the eyes of other, and end up being tarred for it.
I'm not sure how her statement didn't get your goat either (providing I'm understanding you).
"I am just not willing to dumb myself down to be close to someone with a lesser education or IQ than I have."
Dumb yourself down to be close to someone with a lesser education? That's reasonable? I find it offensive. It does come off as elitist to those that don't know miu any better. If someone came here and made statements about dumbing down IRT Miu being a cafeteria lady (or anyone), since that is her profession, I would take just as much issue with it. Miu is blue collar through and through and that probably has more to do with her attitudes than anything else.
Perhaps I should be more clear...post #59 really got my goat, because Miu is quoted stating something about herself that can be disagreed with, but also seems perfectly reasonable.
This is not a reasonable statement:
Quote:
I am just not willing to dumb myself down to be close to someone with a lesser education or IQ than I have...
It is laughable to me. I don't know where she went to school or what her IQ is, and I have no doubt her grades were great. But if we're going to operate on the premise that a formal education = overall intelligence, I don't see Harvard in that contribution, along with many of the others.
Quote:
People have their preferences in relationships and while some of these may seem odd, that is just the way it is.
This is true, it is what it is. We don't have to live with it.
Quote:
I guess I just do not like it when people state their honest views about something, which may be unPC in the eyes of someone else, and end up being tarred for it. I think that is highly counterproductive and smothers an otherwise potentially good opportunity to discuss something.
That is your interpretation of things. That is not how it actually is.
I'm not sure how her statement didn't get your goat either (providing I'm understanding you).
"I am just not willing to dumb myself down to be close to someone with a lesser education or IQ than I have."
Dumb yourself down to be close to someone with a lesser education? That's reasonable? I find it offensive. It does come off as elitist to those that don't know miu any better. If someone came here and made statements about dumbing down IRT Miu being a cafeteria lady (or anyone), since that is her profession, I would take just as much issue with it. Miu is blue collar through and through and that probably has more to do with her attitudes than anything else.
LOL....looks like I was reading your mind. I didn't know she was blue collar though.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
