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Right... having nieces doesn't count. Or having had a childhood myself. And do love small creatures having taken in several unwanted dogs and cats over the years. And then being an atheist makes me a bad person. Whatever.
I am just sad for you that you think that once you reach adulthood, your life is over. And I am sorry that your relationship with your man is not extraordinary like mind is with my boyfriend. He is irreplaceable as the man in my life. So you discount the wonderfulness of my very full and satisfying relationship with my boyfriend and the fact that he is a wonderful person with an extremely brilliant mind. Out of three children, he is the middle child and the smartest savviest one of the lot. So imo, the worthiest life of the three.
Here's another one for you, I would sooner save Stephen Hawkings life over that of any child's. Some human lives just are more extraordinary than others no matter how old they are.
This thread should really be moved over to the parenting forum.
Wow I really do hope your relationship lasts, God knows I think you would end your life if you were to lose your man. Sad you wouldn't do the same for a flesh of your own. Sometimes we learn best from animals how to be better humans. You take opinions as a personal attack, but that is just sad that your mind sways that way. Loving my boyfriend does not say my relationship isn't extraordinary, it means t hat my love for my children way surpasses my own life and even that of a man who is not of my own flesh and blood. God I really hope your boyfriend stays with you for an eternity because I would hate to think what you would do to yourself if he ever leaves you for someone else.
What you try to do is demean my relationship with my boyfriend, but sadly it says alot about your own insecurities.
Athiest or not may God have mercy on you to even think an animals life is worth more than a child...... serious issues there. I'm done with u and this thread.
This might be a little controversial but I would love to hear the views of women and men on this topic.
Should a woman put her relationship with her spouse first or do her children come first?
I have my own little theory on this, but I'll remain quiet for the time being.
This thread seemed to get a little off course discussing a hypothetical drowning. In response to the OP's question, I do and will continue to put my realtionship with my husband who is also the father of my children first, because the happy home we create together is the best place for our children to thrive and grow. But I know I am also blessed in that my husband is a wonderful father, which may change the situation from others.
If I were in a relationship that put my children in harms way.... without question I would put my children first.
As for the hypothetical drowning, I would first save my child because my husband would have a greater chance of surviving on his own. Not beacuse I think my husband could be replaced (he never could be). I would use the same reasoning if I had to choose between my two children, I would first save the youngest because the older one would have a greater chance of surviving on his own.
Awee too many times one has placed relationship and building stable relationship for the children only to have it be destroyed by one thing or the other.... No RELATIONSHIP IS GUARANTEED TO LAST FOREVER, nor are there any children guaranted to live forever. HOWEVER, having being blessed with children and know the profound love I have for my children, there will be no man who will take priority over my child. Yes you can work hard to build a stable environment for your children, but we all know that does not always turn out to be favorable. You are only granted with one child who is unique, that child can never be replaced, a husband can love you today and love someone else tomorrow, but your child will remain your child regardless if your man stays with you or not. Your child being there for you through thick and thin often depends on the love and respect that you have shown your children and yourself as a mother or father to that child.
Well a man took part in creating our children so he should receive the same amount of respect as the children. And I still think that we adults should take more care in who we create children with. Broken homes are not good for children. And hopefully, as you implied, our children will be there for us through thick and thin. But considering the amount of grown children that move out of state, far away from their parents, or the ones that steal money from their parents for drugs and the ever growing nursing home population and all of the social programs for senior citizens created to bring them meals (Meals on Wheels), etc, sadly, this isn't always the case. I'm not arguing that women should not put their children first, I'm just saying that women (and men) should put a lot of emphasis on their marriage so that their children grow up in a loving and peaceful home. This is the greatest gift that we can give our children. Being subjected to hearing parents scream at each other, name calling, swearing, fighting over money, being in a position to decide which parent to side with and the like, isn't fair to children. People who have children in these types of environments, aren't putting their children first, even though they may think that they are. Some people spend more time researching what car or house they're going to buy, then they spend choosing who to have children with.
Although you can control who you have children with, you can't ALWAYS control the environment they bring into your home until it has already happen. Sadly all the things you mentioned that kids will do or can do to their parents, a partner can do the same as well. I don't dispute that we should provide a loving nurturing environment for our families, but being a single parent does not mean that you can't provide the same environment as well.
I don't believe in a volatile relationship nor do I have time to sit there and fuss and fight with anyone; however NO RELATIONSHIP is without disagreements, it is how far you allow those disagreement to continue that makes the difference.
In regards to researching cars and homes and not partners, there are new homes and cars that have been purchased under much research only to be disappointed with the outcome.....the same can be said for a spouse or partner. There is just no fool proof way of ensuring a happy relationship....You can only pray that all works out well.
And wishing everyone a great day! It's all good!!!!
Every life is a .....
http://bestsmileys.com/treasure/2.gif (broken link) to someone somewhere.....
Lets be happy and get over it. We are all alive... Our opinions differ... but in the end, we are all alive, we are free spirits, and we are strong.
We have the strength to stick to our convictions, and live life how we see fit.
We have the love from one place or another, to do with as we would see fit. It is there, we just grab it. Grab it, receive it, and give it back... to the people important in your lives.
Love who you love. If in a situation, do what you feel is best. Love one another, treat one another, as you would like to be treated.
This might be a little controversial but I would love to hear the views of women and men on this topic.
Should a woman put her relationship with her spouse first or do her children come first?
I have my own little theory on this, but I'll remain quiet for the time being.
A woman and her husband should put the children first, they didn't have a choice to be here, if the childrens welfare are first then the woman and mans are on the same level. The children do not have to be ten levels above, they just need to be a step up from the parents, an example would be that the kids could use some new clothes and the parents want a new flatscreen TV, buy the clothes, little Debbie is in a play tonight, the parents are asked out, go to the play, so simple. If one parent puts the children as #1 but the other doesn't then it's a bad situation.
What I'd like to know is who's religious and would choose their spouse over their child. Over the number of pages I've read, it appears most people that'd choose their child over their spouse (in a life/death situation) are religious.
From my perspective, I don't have one. I can't do that hypothetical "if you could only save one..." Both are horrid situations that I can't "answer". If I were in that situation, I'd do my best to save both and I wouldn't consider leaving either behind. Not a very fun response but I can't imagine leaving one to die.
By the way... I'm not married, no children, only 21, and I'm a male.
Though I am a christian by belief, I am very far from being religious. Yes I do believe in God and I do pray to him and worship him in my own way; however as far as calling myself religious, I would only say that I love my lord and savior, but not disciplined enough to go out and worship him the way I should. Nevertheless, with the church being filled with so many hypocrits, from the pastor down, I can honestly say I am comfortable with my relationship with my father and my savior; I do try to live my life within the golden rules as well as those of the ten commandments...though not perfectly but to the best of my potentials at this moment.
Though I am a christian by belief, I am very far from being religious. Yes I do believe in God and I do pray to him and worship him in my own way; however as far as calling myself religious, I would only say that I love my lord and savior, but not disciplined enough to go out and worship him the way I should. Nevertheless, with the church being filled with so many hypocrits, from the pastor down, I can honestly say I am comfortable with my relationship with my father and my savior; I do try to live my life within the golden rules as well as those of the ten commandments...though not perfectly but to the best of my potentials at this moment.
There are many people in your boat. My girlfriend, for example, is Catholic. She's made similar claims that you have.
EDIT: When I said "religious", I meant people that believe in God, that's all.
This thread has run its course. Thank you, everyone, for contributing.
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