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Old 03-25-2010, 04:55 AM
 
37,566 posts, read 45,928,580 times
Reputation: 57107

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Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313 View Post
I`m sure you know that talking to a married man online is not the answer?!
If you want to save your marriage, then you need to go to him again, and tell him that its time for a heart to heart talk. Make him listen to you!
If he still does not listen, then tell him you want a divorce. Maybe he will listen then.
You have kids? Spend more time with them, instead of this married guy online! Good luck!!!
This ^^! Good grief woman. Get off the internet and spend more time with your family.
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Old 03-25-2010, 05:01 AM
 
Location: Somewhere out there...
3,663 posts, read 8,660,400 times
Reputation: 3750
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
This ^^! Good grief woman. Get off the internet and spend more time with your family.
Excuse me, I spend every minute with my family when they are home and awake. How about you?
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Old 03-25-2010, 05:50 AM
 
37,566 posts, read 45,928,580 times
Reputation: 57107
Quote:
Originally Posted by asitshouldbe View Post
Excuse me, I spend every minute with my family when they are home and awake. How about you?
I didn't create this post. You did. You complained of being lonely, and then you spend time commiserating with some married guy online. How does that improve the situation?? I'll tell you how. It doesn't. You are allowing a distraction, a flippin' online personna, to absorb some of the emotion and time that ought to be spent with/on your family. You want someone to agree with you? Sorry. I'm the wrong one. I have no tolerance for this sort of nonsense.

Sit down with your husband and tell him how lonely you feel. You have to communicate these things to him...and let him know how it is affecting your state of mind, and the marriage. If he won't talk at home, then take him out for a meal somewhere, just the 2 of you, and corner him. Tell him what you have said here. A marriage doesn't survive without work.

Last edited by ChessieMom; 03-25-2010 at 06:00 AM..
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Old 04-27-2010, 01:04 PM
 
1 posts, read 977 times
Reputation: 10
Default been there done that

Quote:
Originally Posted by SifuPhil View Post
"The right way" being a moral judgment, no?

I'm just saying that perhaps in her case contact with someone who is experiencing something similar may be a good thing. Yes, something "bad" may happen, but nothing guarantees that there will be hell to pay eventually. In fact, this might be the stimulus package she needs to make a positive change in her relationship.
First off why would you automatically assume that because someone is of the opposite sex and they are talking that something will happen?? Sounds like someone may be feeling guilt over their own actions. Don't judge unless you want to be judged. She asked for advice and help not to be judged for seeking companionship. I know EXACTLY what you are feeling. My husbands tells me all the time that he's not a person who likes conversation. Being stationed away from our family and friends we only have each other for companionship and he doesnt seem to understand that even though he hates talking I do! BUT I have found a way around this. First off "talking" with someone online is FINE so long as talking is all it is. Never hide it and never say or do anything that gives you a twinge of guilt. If you think your husband wont like it then chances are he wont! Second set up "talk-time" with your husband. I made my husband agree to sit down with me for at least 30 minutes each night to discuss our day joke around or just plain gossip. So long as we're talking to each other. I have SEVERAL "friends" I have met online and talk to my husband has most of them on his face book and has started to talk to them regularly too. I just made a point of NEVER ever doing anything that I wouldnt want said or done to me by my husband. Hope this helps.
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Old 04-27-2010, 01:21 PM
 
628 posts, read 2,043,727 times
Reputation: 524
I think the danger is that you could find emotional attachment to each other. If both you and this online fellow are both lonely in your marriage and now all of a sudden you have someone to joke with, talk with, compliment, spend time with (even just online)--something starts to form. I would be suprised if it hasn't already. I would stop the conversation with him and start a conversation with my husband. If he brushes things off and doesn't listen--make him listen. Say we need to sit down and talk it is very important--bring up that you are questioning your marriage etc--something that will get his attention--not just "oh well I wish we'd spend more time together" or "it would be nice if we talked more"--make it somewhat shocking. "I would like to sit down and talk about some important things--I feel things need to change, now or else I'm not sure where this is going" etc...

You also could be experiencing a bit of depression.....
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Old 04-27-2010, 03:55 PM
 
9,301 posts, read 8,339,391 times
Reputation: 7328
Funny thing is I'm the most alone in a place next to someone else. If I'm in a crowd, I'm okay, but if I'm one on one with someone else, then I tend to get lonely.
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Old 04-27-2010, 04:06 PM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,232 posts, read 46,631,388 times
Reputation: 11084
No, just very uncomfortable.
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