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Old 03-31-2010, 12:20 PM
 
Location: Florida
4,892 posts, read 14,083,312 times
Reputation: 2329

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Right on.
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Old 03-31-2010, 12:32 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,316,119 times
Reputation: 40194
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ladywithafan View Post
Well, I'm wasn't exactly looking to get married again, I'm not looking to have more children (have two already) I just thought it would be nice to date someone that doesn't spend my money or smoke crack or snort oxys, has their own home, car, job...maybe that's too much to ask? lol....
Since you say you don't want the drama why take the risk of it with a newly separated or divorced person who is obviously still having issues with their recent ex (like the guy you are dating)?
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Old 03-31-2010, 01:04 PM
 
Location: Florida
4,892 posts, read 14,083,312 times
Reputation: 2329
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Since you say you don't want the drama why take the risk of it with a newly separated or divorced person who is obviously still having issues with their recent ex (like the guy you are dating)?
I was interested in this forum's opinions, first off. Secondly, I have a feeling there are more people carrying around baggage even after years of being divorced, seperated from a relationship....and if one doesn't take the risk, one will never know. The worst thing that can happen is that it doesn't work out; but the positive outcome would never be known if the risk is not allowed.

My xhusband's second wife went through my divorce with him & everything turned out just great for her. She got the doctor, her own mcmansion & my previous lifestyle. Not bad, I'd say....

Nothing scares me except AIDS/Herpes...everything else is workable.
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Old 12-30-2012, 10:51 PM
 
1 posts, read 928 times
Reputation: 10
I've been away from my marriage for 3 years before I started dating...Dated about 6 men in 4 months before I met this man who was divorced only 4 months before we met. We immediately hit it off when we started talking, and had the best first date I ever had. We have been seeing each other for 5 weeks now. He tells me he has to take things slow because he also has 2 children. He went to church on christmas with his kids and x and they are going out for pizza with the kids too on new years eve before he heads out to a party with his friends. We connect so well when we are together, everything we do together is completely comfortable. He has told me his feelings about me and is pretty open when we are together about how he feels too. The ex and none of his family know he is dating yet and only a few friends...Is this a red flag. I really enjoy spending time with him and have not connected with someone the way we do ever...not even my x. I am trying not to give him my heart, but everytime I see him I can't help but get closer to falling in love with him.

I know it's only been 5 weeks...am I not seeing something or am I trying to move too fast? He told me he never thought he would like someone so much this soon. But he hasn't even told family he is dating and only a few close friends that we are seeing one another. Any advice?
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Old 04-17-2013, 09:53 PM
 
25 posts, read 49,216 times
Reputation: 23
I'm not a fan of people who date so quickly after they divorce.
Over the summer I divorced my husband, I was the one who initiated and left.
It takes time to heal. How long is a very personal thing.
My ex went back to his ex-girlfriend -whom he dumped when he met me- while our lawyers were still negotiating.

It's fine by me. I left because I could not be with him anymore, despite the fact that I still think he's a wonderful person. Just not for me, so I hope he will be happy.

Now, in your situation the ex-wife is not too happy about you being in her ex-husband's life.
What does that mean? She's still attached, jealous, can't let go etc etc

Question is: how does the ex-husband feel about it?
If he doesn't turn it into a drama then why would you?

Sounds like the ex-wife has issues, try not to turn them into yours.
Good luck!
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Old 04-18-2013, 04:53 AM
 
166 posts, read 243,162 times
Reputation: 396
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ladywithafan View Post
I am totally in agreement with this because one just doesn't get divorced overnight...Maybe I missed divorce for dummies!!!

I follow my own time line in life.
OK. You totally agree but here you are on a message board looking for advice because sh**** has hit the fan.
Well, buckle your seatbelt because there's probably more to come. SMH
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Old 04-24-2013, 08:03 AM
 
Location: Florida
4,892 posts, read 14,083,312 times
Reputation: 2329
Such an old thread! No worries!
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Old 04-24-2013, 10:05 AM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,126 posts, read 10,069,938 times
Reputation: 11796
I hate when I read the whole thread and then realize it's old - hah. Anyway, in my experience do not date recently divorced men if you really want a relationship. I don't care what anyone says, most people need some recovery time before they are ready for a relationship.
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Old 04-24-2013, 10:10 AM
 
1,450 posts, read 1,891,378 times
Reputation: 1350
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceece View Post
He has been divorced only 3 months then, since December? I would say there is probably going to be a lot of issues between them for at least a year, more if they were married a long time. And regardless of your view of things its NOT just going to be his crazy ex causing trouble, he will also be reacting and responding to things his ex is doing. Things are rarely one sided. If you choose to stay with him just tell yourself you won't be seeing the real picture and that it will take some time for him to loose the baggage and move forward with you. And for god's sake, whatever you do, DO NOT get involved in any of their drama. If you can't stay out of it then bail now.

Agree.
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Old 04-24-2013, 10:30 AM
 
12,585 posts, read 16,874,604 times
Reputation: 15255
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ladywithafan View Post
Recently started seeing someone who is recently divorced. Xwife was the one who wanted the divorce. Now that she's learned her x is seeing me the **** has hit the fan...I don't take it personally, as he could be seeing anyone IMO and this could happen.

Thoughts?
What is your question?

Does she want him back? Is she jealous?? She doesn't want him to be happy without her??

You sound like you will ride this storm out just fine.
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