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It doesn't relinquish the man from helping out in the house, no it doesn't.
Although I do have to say that it depends on how much a man works, if he works 60-70 hours a week, than maybe he is just too tired, physically and emotionally. However, if he only works 40 hours a week, he can still help out a little bit, even if it is just hanging his clothes away and cleaning up after his own self.
I think this is the point - if DH is a brain surgeon, works 60-70 hours a week, and earns $500K per year, I think DW should be satisfied with that effort.
Most of us guys are not that extreme though.
It might help if you encourage DH to do something he's talented at and likes.
You wouldn't happen to be in the revenue stream of the divorce industry?
You know what if I marry a lazy man and he doesn't help around the house , yeah I would leave him. He doesn't have to everyday. But when his dirty undies start piling up or you can't tell the difference between clean or nasty, we got problems. A wife is a mom only to her children not her husband. Now she can nurture her husband too, not baby the man.
My husband and I use to work full time until he lost his job, we had to move and then I had to quit my job. Since then, I have sacrificed getting a job and stayed home for the past year to renovate our entire home. I am the contractor.
My husband in the past couple of years has stopped doing EVERYTHING. What I mean by that, is he works and that's it. I do grocery shopping, laundry, cooking, cleaning, errands of any kind, doctors appts, cleaning the cat box, as well as cleaning up after him. You name it, I do it. If he makes a sandwich, I clean it up. Get the picture?
I plan on heading back to work when the renovations are done.
So, since I have never been in a traditional role type relationship, is this normal?
I would say it is. It makes sense to me that if he's doing all the breadwinning, you'd do all the home making. Seems like an equitable split to me.
I'm not sure about the cleaning up after him though. I don't think he has the right to make messes and expect you to be his maid but I don't think he should have to come home and mop the floors either. I guess it depends on what you mean by messes. Is he leaving a trail of dirty laundry all over the house, leaving dishes where he uses them, etc, etc, etc...or are we talking normal messes like the shower gets used and needs to be cleaned?
I often work two jobs. I earn the money, she spends it. Division of labor.
Correct me Im wrong, but there isnt a she in your equation is there. Didnt your ex wife leave and your ex girlfriend has a bf and is living as your roomate.
I would say it is. It makes sense to me that if he's doing all the breadwinning, you'd do all the home making. Seems like an equitable split to me.
I'm not sure about the cleaning up after him though. I don't think he has the right to make messes and expect you to be his maid but I don't think he should have to come home and mop the floors either. I guess it depends on what you mean by messes. Is he leaving a trail of dirty laundry all over the house, leaving dishes where he uses them, etc, etc, etc...or are we talking normal messes like the shower gets used and needs to be cleaned?
I agree, but the OP is also staying home to renovate the house. Sounds like a job to me. I would bet that if it were reversed her dh would consider that his JOB and would expect her to help with chores when she got home because he had been renovating all day.
Correct me Im wrong, but there isnt a she in your equation is there. Didnt your ex wife leave and your ex girlfriend has a bf and is living as your roomate.
But that is how it works when I AM in a relationship.
I agree, but the OP is also staying home to renovate the house. Sounds like a job to me. I would bet that if it were reversed her dh would consider that his JOB and would expect her to help with chores when she got home because he had been renovating all day.
Depends on how much actual work she's doing. If renovating means supervising someone else working, she can wash the dishes while she does so. If she's putting in 60 hours a week with a hammer in her hand, that's different. My impression, reading her posts, is she's hiring out the labor not DIY. Maybe I read that wrong. If she's spending the day nailing up drywall then, yes she has a job. If she's watching someone else do it, she doesn't.
Depends on how much actual work she's doing. If renovating means supervising someone else working, she can wash the dishes while she does so. If she's putting in 60 hours a week with a hammer in her hand, that's different. My impression, reading her posts, is she's hiring out the labor not DIY. Maybe I read that wrong. If she's spending the day nailing up drywall then, yes she has a job. If she's watching someone else do it, she doesn't.
I assumed she is doing it as she stated she sacrificed to stay home to renovate and that she is the contractor.
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