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Old 04-07-2010, 12:33 AM
Location: Where the sun always shines
2,171 posts, read 3,136,885 times
Reputation: 4491


Originally Posted by plaidmom View Post
Well I am a mid 40's woman and yes I will be brave and say that I would be somewhat put-off by by a 37+ year old virgin partner. I would wonder what had harmed him and what had happened to delay his progress in life . I would wonder what kind of scars and baggage he might carry and if "I" would bear the burden of solving those issues.

This doesn't mean I want a "horn dog", just a "normal" US male who had had some sort of interpersonal interaction in his lifetime. Falling in, and possibly out of love. Suffering hurts and disappointments, recovering from those experiences , and yes, becoming a better and stronger person because of them.

I suggested a "mentor", NOT a prostitute or random one-night stand. There is a difference. I stand by my conviction that the OP could benefit from such a relationship.
YES! Finally a woman who speaks the truth. ITo the OP, i would pay CESpeed no mind. U have to believe someone who speaks in that fashion has a non existent sex life or only wants to go out, spend ur cash, and is ok with no nooky
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Old 04-07-2010, 04:00 AM
Location: London, England
261 posts, read 513,370 times
Reputation: 248
to the GUY's who repeatedly suggest OP should visit a prostitute. He has already said he doesn't want to do this and as CESpeed has also said he would have done this already, if sex was his main goal. The OP wants a relationship and dating seems to be difficult HE FEELS because of his awkwardness and the fact that he isn't sexually experienced.

I truthfully don't understand why a woman would be put off if a guy was a virgin. There are guys that don't know want they are doing and you KNOW their not virgins but unless you tell them what to do or what to not do - Can you really complain?

I think if I liked a guy and had been out on a number of dates I would not think anything of it and I would have an idea by then if we were compatible (outside) the bedroom or not.

If I was dating a guy and things weren't going great or we didn't like the same things and then I was told he was a virgin my mind would wander I'd think of all the bad things associated with this and the relationship would go no further. NOT only because of this but because he wasn't for me anyway.

OP needs to date, talk, laugh.... then down the line the sex can be discussed. I think he will have more success this way. And if she doesn't like him because of this detail then he can move on and find someone who does.
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Old 04-07-2010, 06:56 AM
2,082 posts, read 4,030,400 times
Reputation: 2474
Originally Posted by plaidmom View Post
I'm advocating for the middle path. A gentle course of action that will hurt nor harm either party, and yet have potential benefits to both. It has served me well in life.

I wish the OP well.
whats a sex mentor? wouldnt that be the same as hiring a hooker but putting a nicer title on it??
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Old 04-07-2010, 07:40 AM
Location: Center of the universe
24,657 posts, read 37,454,319 times
Reputation: 11780
Originally Posted by cdubs3201 View Post
The only advice I can give you is to change your mindset and attitude into one that says "I'm confident, I have sexual experience, women want me, if this woman doesn't work out I KNOW I will find another."

Now don't be a cocky arrogant jerk, but have some swagger, convince yourself you're better than what you think of yourself now. Women are easily fooled with confidence. Wait until you've gotten to know each other and been a little more intimate before you spill the virgin beans on her, she'll think it's cute by then, not weird like if she found out first date.

As for no success, dude, you've been on 3 dates, thats NOTHING. I've been on a dozen at least and I think I just maybe found someone I get along with really well. Give it time, keep at it, grow some balls. Watch some James Bond movies and take on his persona and attitude. It'll make the world of different. If you think highly of yourself, other women will too.

A 37-year-old virgin with no dating experience is simply not going to be able to fake confidence. Swagger? Persona? Attitude?

Not likely.
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Old 04-07-2010, 08:31 AM
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,682 posts, read 53,421,586 times
Reputation: 11862
Hey bud, hold out 3 more years and then you can be a real 40 year old virgin and become famous and you'll have to fight off all the women!
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Old 04-07-2010, 03:10 PM
382 posts, read 738,097 times
Reputation: 294
Subscribe it entirely.

Originally Posted by NorCal Dude View Post
Okay I am going to give you the best advice a modern man can give you. Get a hooker.

You can do one of two things, listen to the women on this forum and not get laid, or listen to us guys and get laid.

These woman on this board, some of them, they just give advice on what they think a man should do, but their advice is not rational, logical, or practical.

First and foremost when it comes to sexual performance, woman are not tolerant creatures like men(once they get into their 20's), in fact they can be quite cruel(crazy right, to be cruel when one is most vunerable). When a woman does not know how to perform,during that get to know each others bodies phase, she just lays there, no problem, guys go to town anyways, and are happy. Very rarely do you hear a guy complaining because she 'just lay there'.

Woman on the other hand will fuss, curse, pout, make you feel like absolute garbage and not worthy of being a human if you do not perform "up to their standards". Its women who break up with men because they "dont satisfy my needs" etc.

And whats worse, women LOVE to gossip. Co workers, neighbors, friends, familiy, clergy, national tv, nothing is off limits to level of humiliation you will endure because you " did not satisfy her needs"

Im sorry to be honest, but you are just setting yourself up for failure. Worst case scenario you get bamboozeld out of the bedroom and everyone will find out, best case she will keep you around for companionship but will seek sexual satisfaction else where, as you wont be able to satisfy her.

So get a hooker.

1 If you are honest they will not laugh at you, and infact, unlike most women, they will be sympathetic and understanding, not disgusted
2You learn on your own time
3It is private, no one will ever know

Im not saying go down the street and find a toothless wonder, but maybe check out the bunny ranch in vegas or take a trip to holland. Some of those hookers dont look too bad and they are very clean and professional about it.

If you take the mens advice and get a hooker, one day, when you are on your death bed you will be thankful.

The womens advice, well good luck with that.
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Old 04-07-2010, 04:24 PM
713 posts, read 982,970 times
Reputation: 2686
If you can afford it, go to a good hooker in Nevada, where it's legal. Once you get the sex part out of the way you'll be fine. Don't listen to all these PC women advising you to be a nice guy and be patient. After you've been friend zoned 3,000 times, you'll wish you took all the guy's advice to use a hooker.

No woman is interested in an older virgin. They'll pretend they are just to take your money but they'll leave you cold and dry to run off with Guido, with his muscleman build, Harley and tattoos. All that money you wasted on them could have been used to have a great educational time with a high dollar hooker.
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Old 04-07-2010, 04:36 PM
Location: Arlington, VA
5,412 posts, read 4,044,006 times
Reputation: 916
Originally Posted by Lucario View Post
A 37-year-old virgin with no dating experience is simply not going to be able to fake confidence. Swagger? Persona? Attitude?

Not likely.
He'd be better off being a serial killer on death row.
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Old 04-07-2010, 04:45 PM
Location: Arlington, VA
5,412 posts, read 4,044,006 times
Reputation: 916
The main reason why women don't like virgins, other than the lack of experience (like explaining what she likes is really that hard ) is because women only desire men that other women desire. If you're a male virgin, not by choice, that means women aren't into you, hence you're not desirable, so if other women didn't want you, why would she want you?

Hence why a small pool of men get most of the women, and married guys are quite popular and desired because they have a seal of approval (another woman's interest). Women are highly competitive, and like another posted said, can be and are, quite mean.
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Old 04-07-2010, 04:47 PM
3,219 posts, read 7,562,552 times
Reputation: 2598
First off, how can a regular looking guy get so made fun of in high school for it linger 20 years later?

I think you are a bit gay and you know it but don't want to admit it. Not saying being gay is wrong but its wrong when you don't want to admit it.

What took you so long to realize the way you are isn't working especially if you want a family? You didn't think about therapy or anything more proactive than posting on here in the last 20 years?

Waiting for marriage due to religious beliefs is one time but being too awkward is abnormal. Any normal person would know that.

My one buddy is 22 and I know hes still a virgin. Not only that, he hasn't even kissed a girl! I am starting to question is sexuality. We have tried several times to help him via advice and setting up dates...nope. He is far too picky about the dumbest things. "She has a big mole on her back...wtf!?"

Are you like my buddy? Waiting for the worlds most perfect women to select you?
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