37 year old virgin needs help (college, therapist, friendship, internet)

[betamanlet]

Originally Posted by Dub D

First off, how can a regular looking guy get so made fun of in high school for it linger 20 years later?

I think you are a bit gay and you know it but don't want to admit it. Not saying being gay is wrong but its wrong when you don't want to admit it.

What took you so long to realize the way you are isn't working especially if you want a family? You didn't think about therapy or anything more proactive than posting on here in the last 20 years?

Waiting for marriage due to religious beliefs is one time but being too awkward is abnormal. Any normal person would know that.

My one buddy is 22 and I know hes still a virgin. Not only that, he hasn't even kissed a girl! I am starting to question is sexuality. We have tried several times to help him via advice and setting up dates...nope. He is far too picky about the dumbest things. "She has a big mole on her back...wtf!?"

Are you like my buddy? Waiting for the worlds most perfect women to select you?

You don't know what being a beta is like. look up the term "loveshy"

[betamanlet]

A woman would rather be with a serial killer/pedophile/rapist who made her feel like a pornstar than be with a decent guy who couldn't.

[Dub D]

Originally Posted by betamanlet

A woman would rather be with a serial killer/pedophile/rapist who made her feel like a pornstar than be with a decent guy who couldn't.

No way in hell. A girl would imagine you boning a little kid as you were boning them if you were a pedophile. Any normal chick would get grossed out. Same thing with a rapist. With the serial killer, it depends on the type of person he likes to kill and how he kills them. I mean, I bet plenty of chicks would find a real life Dexter sexy as all hell.

Right ladies!?

[tribecavsbrowns]

Originally Posted by ny101

No. Not all men are born strong. If she wants big muscles I don't have a chance.

Weightlifter and football players are just two of the archetypes, so to speak, that are attractive to a lot of women. There are lot more -- musician, writer...hell, believe it or not, potentially good fathers are still attractive to a lot of women.

But what isn't and has never been an attractive archetype is "guy who won't lift a finger for any reason." You might not have football-player genes, in fact, it's clear you don't. But if you can't do a push-up, I'm nearly 100 percent sure there's a better physical version of yourself that you are nowhere close to tapping. And being a guy who won't even try to reach that better version of himself -- that's always unattractive.

[ny101]

Originally Posted by plaidmom

Well I am a mid 40's woman and yes I will be brave and say that I would be somewhat put-off by by a 37+ year old virgin partner. I would wonder what had harmed him and what had happened to delay his progress in life . I would wonder what kind of scars and baggage he might carry and if "I" would bear the burden of solving those issues.

This doesn't mean I want a "horn dog", just a "normal" US male who had had some sort of interpersonal interaction in his lifetime. Falling in, and possibly out of love. Suffering hurts and disappointments, recovering from those experiences , and yes, becoming a better and stronger person because of them.

I suggested a "mentor", NOT a prostitute or random one-night stand. There is a difference. I stand by my conviction that the OP could benefit from such a relationship.

Does "somewhat put-off" mean I'd have any chance or is it bye bye no matter what I say or do? I have had hurts and disappointments in my life, but none in relationships. A mentor is something I have not thought about. I'd have to think about it before deciding if this is something that might help. What do others on here think of the mentor idea?

[ny101]

Originally Posted by NorCal Dude

First and foremost when it comes to sexual performance, woman are not tolerant creatures like men(once they get into their 20's), in fact they can be quite cruel(crazy right, to be cruel when one is most vunerable). When a woman does not know how to perform,during that get to know each others bodies phase, she just lays there, no problem, guys go to town anyways, and are happy. Very rarely do you hear a guy complaining because she 'just lay there'.

Woman on the other hand will fuss, curse, pout, make you feel like absolute garbage and not worthy of being a human if you do not perform "up to their standards". Its women who break up with men because they "dont satisfy my needs" etc.

And whats worse, women LOVE to gossip. Co workers, neighbors, friends, familiy, clergy, national tv, nothing is off limits to level of humiliation you will endure because you " did not satisfy her needs"

Im sorry to be honest, but you are just setting yourself up for failure. Worst case scenario you get bamboozeld out of the bedroom and everyone will find out, best case she will keep you around for companionship but will seek sexual satisfaction else where, as you wont be able to satisfy her.

Women - true or not true? Please answer honestly.

[ny101]

Originally Posted by Dub D

First off, how can a regular looking guy get so made fun of in high school for it linger 20 years later?

I think you are a bit gay and you know it but don't want to admit it. Not saying being gay is wrong but its wrong when you don't want to admit it.

What took you so long to realize the way you are isn't working especially if you want a family? You didn't think about therapy or anything more proactive than posting on here in the last 20 years?

Waiting for marriage due to religious beliefs is one time but being too awkward is abnormal. Any normal person would know that.

My one buddy is 22 and I know hes still a virgin. Not only that, he hasn't even kissed a girl! I am starting to question is sexuality. We have tried several times to help him via advice and setting up dates...nope. He is far too picky about the dumbest things. "She has a big mole on her back...wtf!?"

Are you like my buddy? Waiting for the worlds most perfect women to select you?

I'm 100% heterosexual. I doubt you've experienced the same things I did. Others falsely calling me gay is one type of insult I had to endure.

The woman does not have to be perfect or even close to perfect.

[ny101]

Originally Posted by tribecavsbrowns

Weightlifter and football players are just two of the archetypes, so to speak, that are attractive to a lot of women. There are lot more -- musician, writer...hell, believe it or not, potentially good fathers are still attractive to a lot of women.

But what isn't and has never been an attractive archetype is "guy who won't lift a finger for any reason." You might not have football-player genes, in fact, it's clear you don't. But if you can't do a push-up, I'm nearly 100 percent sure there's a better physical version of yourself that you are nowhere close to tapping. And being a guy who won't even try to reach that better version of himself -- that's always unattractive.

I can bench around 40-50% of my weight. There are very few people who are encouraging at the gym. I don't just sit on my couch in front of the tv all day.

[Dub D]

Originally Posted by ny101

I'm 100% heterosexual. I doubt you've experienced the same things I did. Others falsely calling me gay is one type of insult I had to endure.

The woman does not have to be perfect or even close to perfect.

You are right, I didn't. However, don't you think holding onto what people said back in high school is wrong? I mean, I can care less what people said to me last week! I think before you seriously consider dating, you need to seek therapy.

[Dub D]

Originally Posted by ny101

I can bench around 40-50% of my weight. There are very few people who are encouraging at the gym. I don't just sit on my couch in front of the tv all day.

...sigh. No one will encourage you at the gym. The hardest part about going to the gym is getting there! I mean, its SO much easier just staying home relaxing.

Don't worry about bench pressing and lifting weights. I go to the gym regularly and lift weights because I like being able to do pullups and pushups not so I can show off how much I can bench press. Dudes showing off how much they can press are showing off to other dudes...gay.

Just as long as you are in decent shape. I do think you should excerise regularly, it will improve your attitude.