37 year old virgin needs help (how to, guys, kids, friends)

[nichirenx]

I think being a virgin gives you a bit of an advantage because its possible that you can control your lust better than those who have already had sex.
As most of the other posters said, just go out and enjoy yourself.
Strike up non expectant conversations with women who you find attractive and approachable.
And if things develop from there and there is a connection you can share your virgin status when you feel comfortable.

I'll just bet it will work in your favor.
Because if the woman is mature, she will probably appreciate you being able to stay out of the 'promiscuous' stage or lifestyle many men choose.

[OngletNYC]

Originally Posted by SparklyWonder66

Well we used to go out socially as a group and we would meet up with their girlfriends, ex's, friends, sisters and it would come up in conversation. I don't know where you work but in London co-workers talk.

I live in NYC, and I go out socially with a few people from work. Yes we all talk, joke, brag, etc... but I don't think I know their sexual history well enough to judge if I want to have sex with them. For all I know, the guy that does our payroll likes to give oral at a bus station once a month. We talk a lot, but I doubt he tells me everything.

I think it is a serious subject; I don't think that pub talk really counts for much. I'm not comfortable judging based on pub talk, but of course there is no reason you and I should have the same comfort level.

[jacktravern]

To the OP, u may not want to hear it but I'll say it b/c ur condition is rare; watch porn and practice on call girls/strippers, whatever you can/in experienced woman, whatever you can find that won't laugh u back to the stone ages . Women like to be turned inside out in bed. Even if you find one that really likes you, if the sex is bad thats gonna put a big stain on the relationship and she might look elsewhere to be satisfied. Just curious, what the hell have you been doin all this time? Theres some desperate woman out there that date prisoners for christ sake!

[FrmlyBklyn]

Originally Posted by ny101

I do consider myself a geek and have a geeky job. I'm not very strong or athletic. I can't even do a pushup. I occasionally try athetic things and I usually quit in disgust. I don't have a whole lot of hobbies outside of work. I'll walk around Manhattan and sometimes go to a sporting event or to live music. I'm not a bad cook.

My dates have with 2 average looking and 1 obese woman.

Do you plan on having the woman do all the work?

[SparklyWonder66]

Originally Posted by Onglet39

I live in NYC, and I go out socially with a few people from work. Yes we all talk, joke, brag, etc... but I don't think I know their sexual history well enough to judge if I want to have sex with them. For all I know, the guy that does our payroll likes to give oral at a bus station once a month. We talk a lot, but I doubt he tells me everything.

I think it is a serious subject; I don't think that pub talk really counts for much. I'm not comfortable judging based on pub talk, but of course there is no reason you and I should have the same comfort level.

Well we used to go our every night and were a close knit group What I mean by talk was not just among ourselves but that others that liked to gossip knew pass girlfriends and all kinds of details. Also as I said I have been friends with my boyfriends before they were boyfriends so we would talk and find out things this way. So I guess I did ask but we knew each other at this stage.

If you encourage people to talk about sex with a stranger they are trying to get to know. I have to wholeheartedly disagree with you. Maybe things are different with you but I know men would find the woman a psycho and women would find the man predatory. it's forward and wayyyy to early.

I have to say before I get the "safety" question. It still safe to ask before jumping into bed without having to ask in the cab to the restaurant.

[ny101]

Originally Posted by SparklyWonder66

Just an few ideas off the top of my head:

Sports bar
walking tours
cooking classes
language classes
yoga or something like that

I understand if your not into playing sport or the gym but you could try other areas.

If you want to stick to online dating mention these interests online it should help to narrow down the search for a suitable woman. Plus you will have more to talk about on the date.

it isn't just about likes - dislikes are important too. If you hate the opera or are not a fan of rock music you should say they are not really your thing.

I hope this helps.

This gives me something to start with. I could make lists of some of my likes and dislikes. You're sugesstions are most helpful.

[OngletNYC]

Originally Posted by SparklyWonder66

Well we used to go our every night and were a close knit group What I mean by talk was not just among ourselves but that others that liked to gossip knew pass girlfriends and all kinds of details. Also as I said I have been friends with my boyfriends before they were boyfriends so we would talk and find out things this way. So I guess I did ask but we knew each other at this stage.

If you encourage people to talk about sex with a stranger they are trying to get to know. I have to wholeheartedly disagree with you. Maybe things are different with you but I know men would find the woman a psycho and women would find the man predatory. it's forward and wayyyy to early.

I have to say before I get the "safety" question. It still safe to ask before jumping into bed without having to ask in the cab to the restaurant.

Talk about sex with a stranger? All I've advocated for on this thread is talking about sex with a person you are considering shagging. I find it rather weird that people here think that's too forward. My position isn't going to change on this anyway: if you are mature enough to have sex, you should be mature enough to discuss it.

[ny101]

Originally Posted by jacktravern

To the OP, u may not want to hear it but I'll say it b/c ur condition is rare; watch porn and practice on call girls/strippers, whatever you can/in experienced woman, whatever you can find that won't laugh u back to the stone ages . Women like to be turned inside out in bed. Even if you find one that really likes you, if the sex is bad thats gonna put a big stain on the relationship and she might look elsewhere to be satisfied. Just curious, what the hell have you been doin all this time? Theres some desperate woman out there that date prisoners for christ sake!

Please read my first post. Sorry, no porn and no strippers for me.

I'm excited about sex and will do anything I can to satisfy her in and out of bed. I gave up and didn't think it was possible after being bullied for years. Now I'm mustered enough courage to give it a go.

[ny101]

Originally Posted by FrmlyBklyn

Do you plan on having the woman do all the work?

No. Not all men are born strong. If she wants big muscles I don't have a chance.

[SparklyWonder66]

Originally Posted by ny101

This gives me something to start with. I could make lists of some of my likes and dislikes. You're sugesstions are most helpful.

No problem. Good luck. You've taken the first step you'll be fine.