37 year old virgin needs help (therapy, gay, kiss, friend)

[redjan1225]

As a woman, I wouldn't be put off if a man I was interested in told me he was a virgin. Of course, I do agree that there is a time and place to discuss that. I know there are lots of women who appreciate a man who has saved himself for the right person.

I met my husband on eHarmony and we met only after talking on the phone and emailing for a couple weeks. When we met face to face, it was like meeting an old friend. Conversation was easy and neither one of us was nervous.

I didn't read a lot of the previous posts except to see some people recommending you visit a prostitute. That would be great advice if your hormones were raging and you just wanted the first time to be over and done with vs. being with someone meaningful.

I didn't see if you had discussed your religion or if anyone had mentioned you joining a church. I think at a church you may meet a lot of different people including many women who are also virgins waiting for the perfect person.

[Skyscrapercrazy]

The church talk, lol. The church full of old spinsters.

[Ep-]

yo at 37 and no gf/kids you gotta have money stashed. sounds like you gotta make a pilgrimage out to the bunny ranch in nevada or amsterdam and bang some whores. your penis will thank you !

[plaidmom]

Originally Posted by Skyscrapercrazy

The church talk, lol. The church full of old spinsters.

Funny you should say that. I was just thinking that the OP is adverse to paying a professional. I was also thinking that perhaps he should find a kind and gentle older "mentor" and gain his experience that way. It's sort of an old-world classic method. Usually the male is just a "boy" and the "older woman" may only be in her 20s or 30s...but in his case? A loving and gentle 40 or 50 something with no relationship designs may be just the ticket.

[CESpeed]

Why is everyone recommending that this guy find a random stranger or a hooker? Sex is obviously not high on his priority list or would have done that already. He has also stated very clearly he doesn't want to go that route. Why people keep suggesting it is beyond me.

His problem isn't ridding himself of his virginity, all he wanted to know is of his being a virgin would be a red flag for a woman he was dating. Most of the women here have told him that they don't care of he's a virgin or not.

[NorCal Dude]

Okay I am going to give you the best advice a modern man can give you. Get a hooker.

You can do one of two things, listen to the women on this forum and not get laid, or listen to us guys and get laid.

These woman on this board, some of them, they just give advice on what they think a man should do, but their advice is not rational, logical, or practical.

First and foremost when it comes to sexual performance, woman are not tolerant creatures like men(once they get into their 20's), in fact they can be quite cruel(crazy right, to be cruel when one is most vunerable). When a woman does not know how to perform,during that get to know each others bodies phase, she just lays there, no problem, guys go to town anyways, and are happy. Very rarely do you hear a guy complaining because she 'just lay there'.

Woman on the other hand will fuss, curse, pout, make you feel like absolute garbage and not worthy of being a human if you do not perform "up to their standards". Its women who break up with men because they "dont satisfy my needs" etc.

And whats worse, women LOVE to gossip. Co workers, neighbors, friends, familiy, clergy, national tv, nothing is off limits to level of humiliation you will endure because you " did not satisfy her needs"

Im sorry to be honest, but you are just setting yourself up for failure. Worst case scenario you get bamboozeld out of the bedroom and everyone will find out, best case she will keep you around for companionship but will seek sexual satisfaction else where, as you wont be able to satisfy her.

So get a hooker.

1 If you are honest they will not laugh at you, and infact, unlike most women, they will be sympathetic and understanding, not disgusted
2You learn on your own time
3It is private, no one will ever know

Im not saying go down the street and find a toothless wonder, but maybe check out the bunny ranch in vegas or take a trip to holland. Some of those hookers dont look too bad and they are very clean and professional about it.

If you take the mens advice and get a hooker, one day, when you are on your death bed you will be thankful.

The womens advice, well good luck with that.

[CESpeed]

Okay I love it when men say what women want, need or will tolerate. You have 9 nine pages of opinions from both men and women. The men are only interested in getting you sex, to them the world will stop spinning on its axis if they don't get sex. But getting sex will not get you a relationship. (wait you're a guy - scratch that) The women have told you that if we know you've never had sex before, it's okay if it's not good, we are expecting it to be.

You have to decide what your goal is: getting laid - go the hooker route or being in a lovign caring relationship - wait until you find Ms. Right.

[Ep-]

i still think he should bang a hoe

[plaidmom]

Originally Posted by CESpeed

Why is everyone recommending that this guy find a random stranger or a hooker? Sex is obviously not high on his priority list or would have done that already. He has also stated very clearly he doesn't want to go that route. Why people keep suggesting it is beyond me.

His problem isn't ridding himself of his virginity, all he wanted to know is of his being a virgin would be a red flag for a woman he was dating. Most of the women here have told him that they don't care of he's a virgin or not.

Well I am a mid 40's woman and yes I will be brave and say that I would be somewhat put-off by by a 37+ year old virgin partner. I would wonder what had harmed him and what had happened to delay his progress in life . I would wonder what kind of scars and baggage he might carry and if "I" would bear the burden of solving those issues.

This doesn't mean I want a "horn dog", just a "normal" US male who had had some sort of interpersonal interaction in his lifetime. Falling in, and possibly out of love. Suffering hurts and disappointments, recovering from those experiences , and yes, becoming a better and stronger person because of them.

I suggested a "mentor", NOT a prostitute or random one-night stand. There is a difference. I stand by my conviction that the OP could benefit from such a relationship.

[plaidmom]

Originally Posted by CESpeed

You have to decide what your goal is: getting laid - go the hooker route or being in a lovign caring relationship - wait until you find Ms. Right.

I'm advocating for the middle path. A gentle course of action that will hurt nor harm either party, and yet have potential benefits to both. It has served me well in life.

I wish the OP well.