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2MARES!!!..PLEASE tell me you havent wasted all this time arguing with me only to tell me that you're a widow...one of the first statements I made was that my philosophy didnt apply to widows, I know you read it...if not then my mistake was in assuming that you read it just because I wrote it.
One could certainly make the case for widows being "biological failures" if they just couldnt accept the fact that even when everything is positively controlled for, sh*t happens...yet this is only a provision that I make for widows
but me personally, I had already exempted widows for the fact that A) Unless he was killed in a one on one battle to the death with all things equal between the two gladiators, there is no way a person could be expected foretell whether your s/o was a weak loser or not...its very likely that he was just unlucky...nothing anyone can do about that.
B) Because we arent "lesser animals" as you say, an individual dying or being killed is hardly a useful determinant, by itself, in deciding whether a person/man was a fit father...Accidents, Wars, bad health etc. are all unfortunate and often (not always) unforeseeable causes of death...
Could a single mother be blamed for choosing a man who met his demise in one of those ways?... I guess that superficially, the truly calloused person could perhaps be so inhumane as to blame a single mother for choosing to mate with a man with bad health, a dangerous lifestyle (drug dealer, soldier, firefighter) or something..
But that blame could only ever be superficial, as those dangerous lifestyles mentioned are actually lifestyles that reveal desireable qualities <on a base level> (provider/protector/risktaker) ... but my own philosophy doesnt account for such trivia as widows, when considering the complexities of mating.
She knew what she was doing the whole time man. I kinda saw it coming by some of the bait she was laying out.
You women can think what you want...guys tell the truth from the heart and what do yall do?????
Young women with no kids PLEASE!! Be careful selecting the men you sleep with. Your Future depends on it! I am a man I sleep with many women, most are single mothers. Many of these women should not be sleeping with me but they do. They sleep for different reasons, im an average guy, make average pay, drive an average car. Why is sex with these women so simple??? There are many men like me out here. Our intentions to hit a few times and move on. Some guys like me are wreckless and accidently impregnate our temporary women. Make men wait! Make us wait for sex. It raises your value. Any man that is not willing to wait does not deserve to have you! Listen to me.
What if she agrees to be a booty call? This is consensual sex between two adults nothing wrong with that. You better believe I have girls who are willing to date me. You might not give me a chance but that is ok because there are two girls right behind you that will. How am i being immature? because I speak the truth?
Yes Monkeykid you are speaking the truth in every post right along with Notaredneck. I am loving your comments, though I feel for single mothers. But the truth is there are 2 types of single mothers, 1 is the divorcee/widow, & then there is the dreaded "baby mama". Now the divorcee & widow have a much greater chance of re-marrying vs the baby mama who most likely will never get a husband. And why, cause the divorcee & widow are respected in our society where as the baby mama is considered low class & a trollop. Life is full of decisions & some decisions you make can come with dire consequences like having a bastard child. Most men will never take relationships seriously with baby mama's, in their eyes she is not wife material, the hardcore truth of the matter is that all she'll ever be is someone's baby mama.
I see a lot of women have taken issue with your post as well as some of the other men who are being perfectly honest with their opinions. And as a woman myself I know you're just speaking truth they don't want to face up with but most truths are hard to face. Keep on telling them the truth & thanks for the laughs as well.
Yes Monkeykid you are speaking the truth in every post right along with Notaredneck. I am loving your comments, though I feel for single mothers. But the truth is there are 2 types of single mothers, 1 is the divorcee/widow, & then there is the dreaded "baby mama". Now the divorcee & widow have a much greater chance of re-marrying vs the baby mama who most likely will never get a husband. And why, cause the divorcee & widow are respected in our society where as the baby mama is considered low class & a trollop. Life is full of decisions & some decisions you make can come with dire consequences like having a bastard child. Most men will never take relationships seriously with baby mama's, in their eyes she is not wife material, the hardcore truth of the matter is that all she'll ever be is someone's baby mama.
I see a lot of women have taken issue with your post as well as some of the other men who are being perfectly honest with their opinions. And as a woman myself I know you're just speaking truth they don't want to face up with but most truths are hard to face. Keep on telling them the truth & thanks for the laughs as well.
There is nothing insightful, clever or even remotely interesting about this cheap insult. What a completely worthless thing to post. Why would anyone post it? What have you done all your life that that is all you can muster? I'd have a modicum of respect for a clever roast, but this drivel must bore any company of yours to gun barrel sucking tears.
She knew what she was doing the whole time man. I kinda saw it coming by some of the bait she was laying out.
You women can think what you want...guys tell the truth from the heart and what do yall do?????
I notice, this is a recurring theme, not just here on these threads but in society at large. Men finally gather the fortitude to speak what some perceive to be a "harsh" -- truth (at least the truth for the overwhelming majority of single men), and women cant accept it because men dont think on their terms...They then proceed to tell men what they should want and why they are less than a man if they dont want it. This is a backward method of doing things.
NOTICE: women broke free A LONG TIME AGO from allowing men to define womanhood and what women should want from a man...that was a smart move, and long overdue. But now whenever masses of men express what they seek in a mate, they are supposed to allow women to rechannel what it means to be a man, just because of the fact that the way those women have chosen to conduct their sex lives, doesnt align with the desires of single men and whats acceptable to single men.
"Its not compassionate to judge single mothers and if you do judge them, then you're not man enough to handle ba ba wabba wabba..." ....
I say, whatever -- That will work on men with a weak psyche. But no one is going to indoctrinate me with that bs reverse psychology just because this society wants to toy around and experiment with role/gender reversal...more power to the ones who do it but I dont.
And what really enables that mentality is these meatshield men. Dont misunderstand me, I know that what they do has a noble intent in their hearts. But there have been, and I suspect there always will be these men who eagerly volunteer to be the human meatshields to intercept any arrows of scrutiny that women see coming their way. This is what keeps many women complacent in their behavior. "see...you men just cant handle taking care of the children of a good strong, slutty single mother. This awesome man-pet right here understands our plight and he doesnt judge me for being a single mother. He's a REAL man!"
What these meatshields are really doing is defending those women without protecting them. In other words, sure, its easy to defend people from being judged and talk about how mistakes and mishaps occur, and noone can see the future and so forth.
But I havent met a man-pet yet, (and Ive met plenty of them) who actually protects those women from judgement: meaning that he tells them how to avoid such judgment from the vast majority of single men in the first place. Usually their take is -- 'there is no difference between men and women, and you shouldnt have to exercise restraint just because you are a woman and risk getting pregnant or becoming a single mother. And rather than accept the fact that biologically men are hardwired to detest other men's offspring, just impose the acceptance of your slutty or irresponsible life choices on men.'....
This counsel tugs at the heart strings of those women but does not protect them from reality..because the reality is that sure, women can do whatever they want with their sex lives, but the consequences for haphazardly doing such, by nature, is lowered desireability in the eyes of men who have options (read: men who can still compete).
Like I said before, the intent of the meatshield man is noble (I think) but the outcome is just enabling of many women's deleterious conduct.
Quote:
It raises your value. Any man that is not willing to wait does not deserve to have you! Listen to me.
I also agree with this...I think women believe that because men want to have sex, and usually women do too, then somehow instant sex is just the natural way of things. This is not true. It doesnt take into account that the original disposition of the female is to be selective. And being selective doesnt just mean being selective of superficial traits like size, money, job, looks, caring, nice etc. It also means being selective of traits that indicate strength on the subconscious level. (patience, discipline, resolve, stability, resilience, focus etc.)...those are things that can only be truly measured by time, which is not what today's women want to hear...because that places responsibility for waiting and deciphering those things in the father of their children squarely on them. And for all their achievements, if its one area where today's women fall short, its fully accepting responsibility for their actions.
Last edited by solytaire; 04-10-2010 at 12:18 PM..
Yes Monkeykid you are speaking the truth in every post right along with Notaredneck. I am loving your comments, though I feel for single mothers. But the truth is there are 2 types of single mothers, 1 is the divorcee/widow, & then there is the dreaded "baby mama". Now the divorcee & widow have a much greater chance of re-marrying vs the baby mama who most likely will never get a husband. And why, cause the divorcee & widow are respected in our society where as the baby mama is considered low class & a trollop. Life is full of decisions & some decisions you make can come with dire consequences like having a bastard child. Most men will never take relationships seriously with baby mama's, in their eyes she is not wife material, the hardcore truth of the matter is that all she'll ever be is someone's baby mama.
I see a lot of women have taken issue with your post as well as some of the other men who are being perfectly honest with their opinions. And as a woman myself I know you're just speaking truth they don't want to face up with but most truths are hard to face. Keep on telling them the truth & thanks for the laughs as well.
Hi SassySpice,
So ironic that by speaking the truth in this thread, it is only women who will benefit. I have no interest lying to women and telling them what they want to hear. How should I show I care?
Men will consider not only a single mother, but how she came to be a single mother. Why would, say a 27 year old man, not want a single young woman?
The next most preferable, and the rarest at young ages, is the widow. Probably the only consideration is the added responsibility. There is no stigma or an ex in the picture who's prison sentence my be coming to an end. I am certain most men view it as very positive.
Next we have the divorced. Generally a divorced mother who in good faith married, and whose children had one father, and who has a good/reasonable relationship with her ex is probably going to have an easier time. However it will weigh on any possibility.
Those who are a multiple divorcee, a single mother without an LTR, someone with unestablished paternity, or someone with an absentee father, is probably not going to do well. Like you said, she will be seen as a baby mama.
The problem with many single mothers is that their reasons for having a child without a father are rather selfish. What about caring enough about their children to provide them with their own dad?
To many think that they want a baby like a possession, something cute, or the baby brings in government handouts and so they won't have to work for a living, but what about the needs of their children? It's the single mothers (not widowed or divorced) who have made the decision that fathers are unimportant.
I do agree with that statement. Some do that. But not all. I just can or will not make a sweeping judgment against a group as large as single mothers.
Is it better to have;
1000 criminals go free so that no innocent man spends time in jail....
or...
1000 innocent men found guilty so that no criminal goes free?
I can't remember where that quote came from, but it goes way back to the creation of our country. I choose the latter. I'd rather give the benefit of the doubt to the bad mothers and be disappointed, than to disappoint a good mother.
It's just philosophical differences. I certainly don't want to force any guy to date single mothers if they don't want to. But on the flip side, guys that choose to date single mothers, aren't necessarily just sifting through trash.
So ironic that by speaking the truth in this thread, it is only women who will benefit. I have no interest lying to women and telling them what they want to hear. How should I show I care?
Men will consider not only a single mother, but how she came to be a single mother. Why would, say a 27 year old man, not want a single young woman?
The next most preferable, and the rarest at young ages, is the widow. Probably the only consideration is the added responsibility. There is no stigma or an ex in the picture who's prison sentence my be coming to an end. I am certain most men view it as very positive.
Next we have the divorced. Generally a divorced mother who in good faith married, and whose children had one father, and who has a good/reasonable relationship with her ex is probably going to have an easier time. However it will weigh on any possibility.
Those who are a multiple divorcee, a single mother without an LTR, someone with unestablished paternity, or someone with an absentee father, is probably not going to do well. Like you said, she will be seen as a baby mama.
Gwynedd,
Yes, by you. Maybe by 75% of all men. But certainly not by all. You say your opinion as if it is a fact. Not ALL men care. Therefore, your statements cannot be correct. If you said, "I will see her as a baby mama" there would be nothing to argue.
I am one of the few men that is an anomaly in that area.
The women who i liked the most had sex with me upon the first or second date.
And the only reason I am not with them now is because they either moved away, they let their friends tell them they were not appreciated, or it was a mutually friendly ending.
If she feels comfortable enough to share herself with me early on, i feel like she might actually like me because women do view themselves as precious in that area.
Now chances are she could just be promiscuous, but there will be other signs if that is the case.
Yes, by you. Maybe by 75% of all men. But certainly not by all. You say your opinion as if it is a fact. Not ALL men care. Therefore, your statements cannot be correct. If you said, "I will see her as a baby mama" there would be nothing to argue.
Hi JSizzle225,
If 1 person saw her as a baby mama she would be seen as a "baby mama" strictly speaking. Again I really have little interest in systematical arguments. Such conversations just revolve around rhetorical manipulations.
When discussing populations one does not look at individuals but at statistical trends such as a correlation coefficient. For example if a .6 Person r existed within the population of men, then I would state that as being a moderate tend characteristic of men. A .8 would be a very strong one. It is understood that perfect 1.0 correlations are rare in nature. It is not helpful or expedient to look at exceptions. The main effect of single motherhood is that of a barrier to overcome in the dating world. Of course my education involved statistics, research methods and population studies. Anecdotes are interesting but mean very little to me. When I say men, I mean group characteristic ,otherwise I would say certain men or a man. Men is a population. Here are the facts that are referenced:
Unmarried mothers and children from unmarried homes are likely to be in poverty or near the poverty level for an extended period of time.36
Women raising children out of wedlock are less likely to find a marriageable mate than single, childless women.37
Children of single parents are more likely to engage in high-risk relationships and high-risk behaviors at an earlier age, than children raised by a married mother and father.38 [/SIZE][/SIZE]
What would be useful is to identify that barrier accurately so as to create the best probability to overcome that barrier.
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