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I met a really nice lady on line and we hit it off right away. I wanted to take it slow since she was 'a keeper' and I figured the 'gentleman' in me would set it up for a LTR. On the 3rd date, she wanted to hit the sack...so...the relationship was consummated. We did it up: Beach, boating, elegant dinners at home, nights out on the town, friends met friends, parties, lazy rainy days, I helped her fix a few problems at her house...then one day, after about 10 - 11 weeks of dating, she just stopped returning my calls, texts, emails....for no apparent reason. I was quickly made "history". I was flumoxed and indeed hurt. There were a few clues: Changing plans without notice and saying 'join me if you want, but this is what I decided I am doing' and telling me 'I'll call you later' when "later" could be in 5 mins, 5 hours or 5 days. She did not always treat me kindly or with care and in retrospect, it seemed like she wanted a play and sex partner. Ladies, comment? Guys, any clue? I know I am better off but WTF????
Dude, she has no respect and no class. I take offense if I've taken a girl out to dinner once and she ends it without even saying anything and just ignores. It's rude, it's offensive, it's bullshtt. She's got no respect for your feelings. The least she could do is call your or email you and tell you it's over, but she just ignored you after 3 months of dating. That's harsh, and it's because she's selfish in her own feelings.
It sounds like you already realize it, but you dodged a bullet, just think how she would treat the next guy if she DID want to be with them, the next guy she's with will be tortured by her bullshtt.
As for wanting to take it slow, next time if that's how you really feel, stick to it. She obviously wanted just play, and she got it, and she thinks she can get it anytime she wants and doesn't have to worry about how she hurts others. This makes me sick, if I met her in person I'd either spit in her face or burn her house down.
To the OP : doesn't surprise me in the least, that's what e-relationships are, mostly.
Last year I "met" a young women on this UCD forum, for about a month she was extremely eager to meet me, sent me e-mails several times a day, even gave me her phone number, we communicated also via facebook and webcam (needless to say my so was furious in the end, although I kept telling her it was not a "real" relationship);
And then one day out of the blue, that woman (foreign) stopped all contact.
I didn't pursue her for obvious reasons.
Any person who does not have the decency or courage to tell you up-front that he/she wishes to move on or that :the relationship isn't working" (however much that has become a coded phrase for "you suck in bed/you make too little $/you bore me to death/I found someone hotter, younger, richer, sexier than you")... you're better off finding out about this person's character now than later.
Not that this minimizes your disappointment, but I for one count it as a blessing whenever I find out about someone's true colors relatively early on. It could've been far worse. Rather than 10-11 weeks of dating, imagine if it'd been 10-11 months and you had invested yourself far more intensely and profoundly.
Any person who does not have the decency or courage to tell you up-front that he/she wishes to move on or that :the relationship isn't working" (however much that has become a coded phrase for "you suck in bed/you make too little $/you bore me to death/I found someone hotter, younger, richer, sexier than you")... you're better off finding out about this person's character now than later.
Not that this minimizes your disappointment, but I for one count it as a blessing whenever I find out about someone's true colors relatively early on. It could've been far worse. Rather than 10-11 weeks of dating, imagine if it'd been 10-11 months and you had invested yourself far more intensely and profoundly.
Move on and best wishes.
Couldn't agree more, visual proof of this is the thread going on now with a guy who found out his fiance cheated on him and he's dealing with moving her stuff out of his house and boy does it sound tough. It's a blessing you found out her major personality flaw now instead of later.
thanks, y'all....it was indeed the lack of R-E-S-P-E-C-T that any decent person would have for someone they are sleeping with, hanging out with etc. I am glad I did not invest more in the relationship. I had in fact confronted her on her selfishness once or twice and said something to the effect "I do like you but I like myself more" indicating she could not get away with some of the shabby treatment being doled out from time to time. I think she was not used men who are direct and demand decency. That should have in retrospect been my 'sign' - and at one point, I almost canned her but wanted to give it more time....she had many great qualities, some of them not only in the sack. The more distant I get from this beeeaatch the clearer it gets how inconsiderate she was and it was really all about her. F that!
It was a little awkward for a bit when friends called to invite "us"over and I told them "no its just me now" and they'd all be perplexed.....like I was.
Sometimes moving on is easier said than done. On the other hand, she left her digital camera on my sun deck the very last time she was here (and it got rained on a few times since I did not see it in plain sight...she never called even to get it back.
Wow u guys sound like a couple of chics comparing notes, but welcome to the club. U meet someone everything is going fine then bam... and u r like wow is this the twilight zone or an alternate reality?Online puts relationships on a whole different level. I don't have any fast answers just know u r not alone and it does hurt... But this too shall pass... The Op sounds like a great guy and this is what I have to say for u- Women r like buses, there's plenty of 'em running in different directions all the time. If one doesn't work try another one.
seems like more and more (almost all actually) girls do this nowadays. instead of breaking things off they just disappear.
i just tossed away some dishes, a pair of sunglasses and two bracelets from a girl i was just dating for a month who did the same thing. i even sent her an email asking if she wanted to grab her stuff soon or i was just gonna toss it, she never responded. She only lives 10 minutes away, oh well :P
To the OP : doesn't surprise me in the least, that's what e-relationships are, mostly.
Last year I "met" a young women on this UCD forum, for about a month she was extremely eager to meet me, sent me e-mails several times a day, even gave me her phone number, we communicated also via facebook and webcam (needless to say my so was furious in the end, although I kept telling her it was not a "real" relationship);
And then one day out of the blue, that woman (foreign) stopped all contact.
I didn't pursue her for obvious reasons.
Gee, imagine that! Why would she do it...?! Oh, yeah! You have a SO and it wasn't a "real" relationship to you!
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We did it up: Beach, boating, elegant dinners at home, nights out on the town, friends met friends, parties, lazy rainy days, I helped her fix a few problems at her house...then one day, after about 10 - 11 weeks of dating, she just stopped returning my calls, texts, emails....for no apparent reason. I was quickly made "history". I was flumoxed and indeed hurt. There were a few clues: Changing plans without notice and saying 'join me if you want, but this is what I decided I am doing' and telling me 'I'll call you later' when "later" could be in 5 mins, 5 hours or 5 days. She did not always treat me kindly or with care and in retrospect, it seemed like she wanted a play and sex partner. Ladies, comment? Guys, any clue? I know I am better off but WTF????
Oh, yeah! You have a SO and it wasn't a "real" relationship to you!
