U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 05-01-2010, 03:10 PM
 
5,879 posts, read 8,120,470 times
Reputation: 2753

Advertisements

You just coined a new phrase for me, like I didn't already have enough unique ones! "Go Jack Torrance on your ass"!LOL.......... Jack Torrance - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-01-2010, 03:18 PM
 
Location: On the dark side of the Moon
9,932 posts, read 12,364,696 times
Reputation: 9139
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2RUGGED4YOU View Post
You just coined a new phrase for me, like I didn't already have enough unique ones! "Go Jack Torrance on your ass"!LOL.......... Jack Torrance - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Yeah, but it's a good one!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-01-2010, 03:27 PM
 
5,879 posts, read 8,120,470 times
Reputation: 2753
Quote:
Originally Posted by saucywench View Post
Yeah, but it's a good one!
That it is!LOL...... It kind of goes with my dad's friend that passed away school nickname "6 axe". He was heavy in school and his ass was 6 axe handles wide!LMAO.......... How did you fellas determine that dad? Did you measure or something?LOL..........
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-02-2010, 06:10 AM
 
6,368 posts, read 14,225,805 times
Reputation: 5891
The Blonde Cop

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little yellow bug and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.
The blonde cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
"What does it look like"?' she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it".
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it, and handed it to the policewoman.
"Here it is," she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying,
'Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop.. ..'
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-03-2010, 11:23 AM
 
6,368 posts, read 14,225,805 times
Reputation: 5891
Big Finish


A woman delivers a set of identical twins and decides to give them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal."
The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan."
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~

A red-head, a brunette and a blonde pull off a bank robbery. They are on the run from the police and they have to ditch their car and go cross country.
They are all getting tired and happen across an old farm with a huge barn. Sneaking inside the barn, they see three old flour sacks. They all hide in separate sacks.The police enter the barn and upon seeing the sacks, kick the first one containing the redhead. The redhead says "Woof!".
"Nothing in here but a dog sarge" says the constable. "We'd better move on".
They kick the sack containing the brunette. "Meow!" she says.
"Nothing in here but a cat, sarge. Better move on".
They kick the sack containing the blonde and the blonde says "Potatoes!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~

A cop saw a car weaving all over the road and pulled it over. He walked up to the car and saw a nice-looking woman behind the wheel. There was a strong smell liquor on her breath.
He said, 'I'm going to give you a breathalyzer test to determine if you are under the influence of alcohol.' She blew up the balloon and he walked it back to the police car. After a couple of minutes, he returned to her car and said, 'It looks like you've had a couple of stiff ones.'
She replied, 'You mean it shows that, too?'


It's been fun (apologies to all the blondes)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-04-2010, 12:30 AM
 
Location: On the dark side of the Moon
9,932 posts, read 12,364,696 times
Reputation: 9139
Woody Interruptus


YouTube - Cheers - 9.11 - Woody Interruptus (1 of 3)

Last edited by saucywench; 05-04-2010 at 01:22 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-04-2010, 12:53 AM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
16,082 posts, read 24,482,093 times
Reputation: 18035
LOL...the virgo thing is partially true...I don't care about the inside of the fridge, its the unknown, whats underneath that drives me crazy. The laundry..yep..I use a laundromat and could spend an outrageous amount..the colors can't mix. A drive by... wouldn't be over a dirty car though.

Quote:
Originally Posted by saucywench View Post
^^^Toss it up here...HAHA!!!

If anyone wants to know their true self, check out this link.

Rude signs of the zodiac

Rugged~Look at this snippet from Virgo...

Don't put cheese where it doesn't belong in a Virgo's refrigerator. He or she will go Jack Torrance on your ass. You will be stabbed with a cuticle pusher. Jack Torrance was probably a Virgo in the first half of "The Shining". After that, he went all Leo.

Go Jack Torrance on your ass!

Little pigs, little pigs, let me come in. Not by the hair of your chiny-chin-chin? Well then I'll huff and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in.
[axes the door]

Here's Johnny!!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-04-2010, 01:21 AM
 
Location: On the dark side of the Moon
9,932 posts, read 12,364,696 times
Reputation: 9139
V-Those rude horoscopes are funny!-S

Part II of Woody Interruptus.

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Henri.........the guy who's going to steal your girlfriend.



YouTube - Cheers - Woody Interruptus (2 of 3)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-04-2010, 01:44 AM
 
Location: In the Pearl of the Purchase, Ky
7,878 posts, read 13,336,531 times
Reputation: 32690
A young lady is sitting at the bar and bares her breasts to the bartender. He looks and says."That's nice. But there's nothing on them that says you're over 21!"

Did you hear about the girl chasing the boy around the church?
She caught him by the organ!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-04-2010, 02:05 AM
 
Location: On the dark side of the Moon
9,932 posts, read 12,364,696 times
Reputation: 9139
Woody Interruptus~The Climax


YouTube - Cheers - 9.11 - Woody Interruptus (3 of 3)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2020, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top