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Old 04-22-2010, 03:34 AM
 
Location: On the dark side of the Moon
9,932 posts, read 12,352,655 times
Reputation: 9139

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"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher."
Socrates.

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
Groucho Marx
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Old 04-22-2010, 01:18 PM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
16,085 posts, read 24,448,591 times
Reputation: 18034
Quote:
Originally Posted by saucywench View Post
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Or how about a potpie?
"Some husbands are living proof that a women can take a joke"

"There are no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men"

"Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred"


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Old 04-22-2010, 05:45 PM
 
25,953 posts, read 27,289,457 times
Reputation: 26746
"...It's those arguements, man. See, you can't out argue a woman because they have a memory that go back 20 -30 years" "watching Ophra" ....and some more - it's a laugher - because it's so true.

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Old 04-23-2010, 11:52 AM
 
530 posts, read 695,971 times
Reputation: 432
A man is at his smartest during sex b/c he is plugged in to something that knows everything!
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Old 04-23-2010, 01:06 PM
 
Location: back in Boston
370 posts, read 797,216 times
Reputation: 587
There's some good ones here: Battle of the Sexes! 3
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Old 04-23-2010, 01:20 PM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,236 posts, read 42,009,387 times
Reputation: 10968
A woman, disgusted with her recent romance, complained to her Southern Belle girlfriend, "Men! They're all alike!" To which her friend replied, "Yup. They're all Ah like, too."
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Old 04-23-2010, 01:25 PM
 
Location: On the dark side of the Moon
9,932 posts, read 12,352,655 times
Reputation: 9139
Huck, this one's for you.

Did you hear about the guy that figured out women? He died laughing before he could tell anyone.

Some of the others were a little rude, albeit funny, here's the link.

PinkJokes - Short women jokes joke (http://www.pinkjokes.com/joke.php?ID=139 - broken link)
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Old 04-23-2010, 01:37 PM
 
25,953 posts, read 27,289,457 times
Reputation: 26746
Sam Kinison sings "Are You Lonesome Tonight" In his own unique way...."....I wonder a lot of things, like are you human are you a reptile with a nice hairdo...."



Sam sings his own unique "LOVE Song" Due to EXPLICIT LYRICS I'm just linking it.

YouTube - Sam Kinison - Love song
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Old 04-23-2010, 04:06 PM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,236 posts, read 42,009,387 times
Reputation: 10968
I heard one attributed to Groucho Marx. "I had a judge at my wedding--I should have had a jury."
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Old 04-23-2010, 04:08 PM
 
25,953 posts, read 27,289,457 times
Reputation: 26746
Quote:
Originally Posted by saucywench View Post
"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher."
Socrates.

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
Groucho Marx
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar View Post
I heard one attributed to Groucho Marx. "I had a judge at my wedding--I should have had a jury."
See, above, it's at the top of the page.
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