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Old 04-19-2010, 12:46 AM
 
143 posts, read 540,929 times
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My brother is a married, middle-class, white guy in the suburbs with 3 kids, a corporate job, pretty wife, etc. He is also living this other life where he has sex with multiple women who he meets on websites. He recently went on 2 week business trip to California and picked up 2 girls off the street in Oakland. One of them is a drugdrug (http://www.righthealth.com/topic/Boards%20drug?as=clink&p=clinkl&ac=464 - broken link) addict who freaked out in the hotel hallway to the point that security was called and he was almost thrown out of the hotel. The other shoplifted in a store while my brother was with her and they were both arrested. The police let my brother go eventually but charged her. He then told me that he performed sex acts with the girls for 2 men (at different times) for money. He made $600. On previous trips, he would fly in women who he had sex with before, now he is picking up drug addicts off the street and putting on sex shows. I am worried that something bad is going to happen if he keeps doing stuff like this. Can anyone tell me why he is doing this? I also don't understand why he is doing this to his wife? She is the nicest person and she has no idea. I have tried to talk to him about it but he tells me most guys do this kind of stuff. Should I be worried or do most guys do this kind of stuff and I am just naive? Any advice will help.
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Old 04-19-2010, 12:52 AM
 
Location: New Hampshire
4,866 posts, read 5,683,548 times
Reputation: 3786
He could be bored with his marriage. ( even though I doubt that is the case ). His wife being nice has little to do with his character.

"I have tried to talk to him about it but he tells me most guys do this kind of stuff. Should I be worried or do most guys do this kind of stuff and I am just naive?"

Hmmm. No, most guys don't got out in the street and pick up women to have sex with. You are not naive to think that there could be something wrong with him.

I can't tell you why he is doing this. He needs to fess up to his wife and seek help.
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Old 04-19-2010, 12:54 AM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,017,002 times
Reputation: 9418
I've always had my doubts about this sex addict stuff but I believe it's possible. He needs to check himself in before he loses everything from his family to his job, including his life from the sounds of it judging by the company he's keeping.
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Old 04-19-2010, 12:56 AM
 
Location: Russian Federation
355 posts, read 616,266 times
Reputation: 309
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovebug11768 View Post
My brother is a married, middle-class, white guy in the suburbs with 3 kids, a corporate job, pretty wife, etc. He is also living this other life where he has sex with multiple women who he meets on websites. He recently went on 2 week business trip to California and picked up 2 girls off the street in Oakland. One of them is a drugdrug (http://www.righthealth.com/topic/Boards%20drug?as=clink&p=clinkl&ac=464 - broken link) addict who freaked out in the hotel hallway to the point that security was called and he was almost thrown out of the hotel. The other shoplifted in a store while my brother was with her and they were both arrested. The police let my brother go eventually but charged her. He then told me that he performed sex acts with the girls for 2 men (at different times) for money. He made $600. On previous trips, he would fly in women who he had sex with before, now he is picking up drug addicts off the street and putting on sex shows. I am worried that something bad is going to happen if he keeps doing stuff like this. Can anyone tell me why he is doing this? I also don't understand why he is doing this to his wife? She is the nicest person and she has no idea. I have tried to talk to him about it but he tells me most guys do this kind of stuff. Should I be worried or do most guys do this kind of stuff and I am just naive? Any advice will help.
Yep. That's what most guys do (if they can, of course). Do it cuz it's fun. Do it cuz they understand that they love sex more than almost anything else.
What do you love more than sex?
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Old 04-19-2010, 12:58 AM
 
Location: Russian Federation
355 posts, read 616,266 times
Reputation: 309
Quote:
Originally Posted by Whyte Byrd View Post
I've always had my doubts about this sex addict stuff but I believe it's possible. He needs to check himself in before he loses everything from his family to his job, including his life from the sounds of it judging by the company he's keeping.
You might wanna read Choke by Chuck Palahniuk. It covers the topic well enough.
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Old 04-19-2010, 01:23 AM
 
1,742 posts, read 6,144,349 times
Reputation: 737
His wife needs to do him more and be more adventurous.
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Old 04-19-2010, 01:30 AM
 
Location: New Hampshire
4,866 posts, read 5,683,548 times
Reputation: 3786
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Continental View Post
His wife needs to do him more and be more adventurous.

Sooooo, what you're saying is that his wife is the one to blame for his behavior?

What his wife needs to do once she finds out is to divorce his A S S.
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Old 04-19-2010, 01:40 AM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,017,002 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Continental View Post
His wife needs to do him more and be more adventurous.
That's an emotional cripple mentality if I ever heard one.

I guarantee you, if this guy's picking up drug addicts, shoplifters and heaven knows what else off the streets, he's got far bigger problems than his wife not 'doing him enough'.
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Old 04-19-2010, 01:51 AM
 
1,742 posts, read 6,144,349 times
Reputation: 737
Yeah most likely as his actions are a bit on the extreme side unless he's just real care free in general. However lack of intimacy in a marriage is often cause of infidelity.
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Old 04-19-2010, 02:04 AM
 
26,142 posts, read 31,206,877 times
Reputation: 27237
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Continental View Post
Yeah most likely as his actions are a bit on the extreme side unless he's just real care free in general. However lack of intimacy in a marriage is often cause of infidelity.
Real intimacy has little or nothing to do with sex.

Let's not forget, given the company he's keeping, he is probably now a disease card carrying member and is now putting his whole family at risk. I remember my boss (who was also our neighbor) when I was in high school went on these business trips and gave his wife VD. He paid dearly for that in many ways.
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